Breaking the First Rule of Healthy Club

EpiCor-300x225The first rule of Healthy Club is to never mention you are in the Healthy Club.

Do not talk about Healthy Club.

Yeah, I am going to risk my family’s health and break this rule.

It seems like every time I log on to Facebook or Twitter, someone is sick.  Actually, more like everyone in the social media world is coming down with a form of the plague.

I would be lying if I didn’t feel completely exposed to it just by reading about it.  I may even use hand sanitizer after reading those updates.  I”m just saying.


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I fought skinny jeans…and lost

Skinny jeans have been a thing now for a few years.  A thing I have been pretty much terrified of.

I noticed them first on the uber tall and very slender, and I liked the look.  Then I saw them paired with boots and I liked the look even more.

Then I saw them on teenage boys.  And those teenage boys also tried to do the “sag” look.  Um. Sagging skinny jeans? SHOULD NOT BE A THING.

Then I saw this on a not skinny guy.

I thought the trend maybe had died.  But no, it raged on…for the past couple years.

Now skinny jeans are on all sizes in all styles–I saw a pair yesterday on a high school girl that I thought might be painted on AND they were acid wash.  The really bad acid wash from 1987.  I may have cried.

Last year, before I was pregnant with Charlie, I wanted to try a skinny jean, but I was afraid I would look like an apple in them.  Or more terrifying, like an upside down ice cream cone.

I could not find one that fit.  Either it fit my waist but was dumpy in the butt, knees, and thighs (not exactly “skinny” fit), or it fit everywhere like a glove but my muffin top was so squeezed I couldn’t digest a tic tac without indigestion.

Then I got pregnant, moved into my panel-elastic pants, and forgot about “real” pants for a good nine months.

{sorry, I got distracted by how awesome it is to not wear pants with buttons, snaps, or zippers…ah. Those were the days. Sorry, what?}

So anyway, this school year started and I was all, “I want to try skinny jeans again!  But ahhhh! I have the scared of looking ridiculous!”

In my mind, there is a fine line with skinny jeans. A VERY FINE LINE.  And I will admit here and before all the internets that 80% of the people I see daily in skinny jeans look ridiculous and will later live to regret the fashion decision.  I will also say that 98% of THOSE people? Are under 18.

Before Christmas I found a pair at The Gap that I thought fit.  But I wasn’t wearing my boots, so I couldn’t be sure there wouldn’t be bunch-ation around my knees. Instead of buying them and trying them at home, I put them back and spent my money on Christmas presents.

Between then and now I polled everyone I know who would tell me the honest truth about the skinny jean on my booty to find out if they think I should try.

100% of them said to go for it.

I still wasn’t sure.

But armed with a GAP giftcard from Christmas (thanks, mom!), I got my first pair.  I wore my first pair last week on a day we had a half day due to exams.  On those days only two classes met, but I wore them on a day I also had my planning period, so only ONE class would see me.  The staff and lunch would see me too, but I would be grading the rest of the day in my room.

And then of course I took a picture of myself so the whole internet could judge my thighs. And my dorky, pointed in toes.

does this nervousness make my thighs look big?

does this nervousness make my thighs look big?

All jokes aside, I actually felt pretty comfortable in them.

And it helped that I got an email from Cortney (unprompted, I might add.  I don’t think he knew how nervous I was to wear them) telling me that I look great in my new jeans.

I got a bit blushy in my empty classroom at 7:15am.

Yes, I will wear them again.  They are a size smaller than I usually wear, which is a bit pinchy in the midsection, but they are also made with some stretchy material, so it’s not too bad once I’ve moved around in them a bit.

It was important to me to find some clothes that made me feel good about myself in this post-Charlie body.After I had Eddie, I gave in to the depression {that I didn’t know I had at the time} and bought frumpy sweaters and ugly pants because that is what my brain told me I was worth.  I was someone’s mom now, and I should look like it.

I know that doesn’t make sense, but at the time it was the most logical thing to me ever.

One of the steps I am taking this time around is to feel better about myself.  I eat healthier, I stay away from the scale, I take “me time”, and I am trying to buy a few pieces that are new (since my last “new” clothes are from two years ago–pre-Charlie).

So skinny jeans, it is.

What should I try next?


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