And now from the Random Eddie File…


While we are driving in the car…

Eddie: Mom. Look at that car!

Me: Which one?

Eddie:  That one.  That yellow one.  That yellow car is FANCY!

(although it would sound more like: Dat one.  Dat way-yo one. Dat way-yo caw is FANCEE!)


Not long ago, Cort and I introduced Eddie to the “Guess what? Chicken butt.” joke.  What he doesn’t understand is that the joke is in the rhyme.

Eddie: Guess what!

Me: What?

Eddie: Chicken butt!

Me: Ha!  Guess what!

Eddie: What?

Me: Chicken hut!

Eddie:  Ha ha!  Guess what!

Me: What?

Eddie: Chicken nose!

Me: Um, Ha?  Guess what!

Eddie: What!

Me: Chicken cut!

Eddie: He he he he!  Guess what!

Me: What!

Eddie: <pause while he smiles, then the sound of a squeak toy being stepped on> CHICKEN TOOT!

Me: GROSS!!!  P U!!!!


While Eddie is eating his lunch…

Me: Hey, Ed…

Eddie: What, Mom.  What?

Me: I love you!

Eddie: <points, attempts a wink, and makes a click sound with his mouth>

Me: O_O


It is somewhere around 6:30 in the morning.  I am sleeping and Cort is in the shower getting ready for work.  Suddenly, a wiggly body is in bed with me trying to get comfy on Cort’s side.

Me: Eddie?  Is that you?

Eddie: Yeah. I am sleeping here now.

Me:  Ok.  Why?

Eddie: Because of that noise.

Me: There is a noise?  Downstairs?  By your room?

Eddie:  That noise, mom.  Listen.  Sounds like “shhhhhhh”.

Me:  The shower?  Daddy in the shower?

Eddie:  Yeah.  All that racket in the shower.

Me: Um, ok. Are you going back to sleep?

Eddie: (as he covers himself completely with the comforter) Yes. Don’t talk a me.


As he runs past the bathroom door over and over and over as I get ready…





(repeat, ad nauseum)

(He got this off a men’s hair color commercial.  The actual phrases are “Your beard is weird” and “your ‘stache is trash”).


As he collapses after 15 straight minutes of running up and down the hall yelling phrases from a men’s hair color commercial…

Eddie: Mom? I don’t have much energy.

Me: You’re all worn out?

Eddie: No, I just don’t have any energy. <takes a sip of milk> NOW I DO!!!!

(takes off again)


As we curl up together in my chair before bedtime.

Eddie: (leans in very close) Mom? I wanna tell you an escret.

Me:  A what?

Eddie: no a EE-SCRET!

Me: A secret?

Eddie: Yup. I wanna tell you one.

Me: Ok, do it.

Eddie:  (all whispery and close to my ear) I yuv you, mommy.

Me: Oh Eddie.  I have an escret for you too.

Eddie: What?

Me: (in his ear) I love you too.  Forever and ever.

Eddie: that’s a YONG time, mom!  Ha ha ha ha!

Me:  It sure is, bud.

“I like your dance tricks. Yook at my dance tricks.”