plus one

I have always dreamed of having four boys.

Cortney is happy with the two we have, but is willing to go for one more baby.

Eddie wants a sister so badly that he begs for one daily.

Charlie hates to share and is fiercely jealous when another baby is in my arms.

Three against one, Bird. Sorry.

I guess this means Sluiter Nation is currently in negotiations about increasing the population from 4 to 5.

Of course with me, it’s not as easy as “we want to have another baby, so let’s get pregnant now…weeeeee!!!” ¬†Unfortunately we have a million things we have to consider; the first of which is when would my maternity leave fall in the school year and will I have enough sick days that I can take the full twelve weeks off paid?

We really can’t afford for me to be off unpaid, and mentally fewer than twelve weeks of maternity leave are just not Ok, Charlie’s birth date was idea since the twelve weeks off butted up against twelve more weeks off for summer break. Six months home with my little guy was perfect for me.

We also have to think about my medication. Currently I am on a pretty high dose of Celexa for my depression. My OB would like to see me cut that dose in half at LEAST until my 12th week of pregnancy. We already know from when I was pregnant with Charlie that I can’t wean off completely. I guess I’m going to be discussing this with my therapist at my next appointment and then with the prescribing doc if necessary.

And of course there is my age. I’m thirty-five, almost thirty-six, which means that I am now considered “advanced maternal age.” On top of all the other risks and issues I have with staying pregnant, there is now a higher risk of the baby having issues.

Yet we feel our family is not quite complete.

I have SO many thoughts and feelings about what this will do to our family and the changes we will have to make. I’ve discussed with my therapist all the depression stuff that could (probably will) happen with another baby. There is a lot going on in my heart and mind…and probably Cortney’s too.

But we agree: it’s almost time for another.

And so we pray for that little one who we do not yet know.

I mean, there’s room on this couch for one more, yes?

adding one more?