stupid halloween

So I hate Halloween.

Yup. There it is.

Oh, I have tried to love it.  I have.

As  kid, it was fun to dress up for the Halloween party that we had in school.  In my memory we took half the day just getting our costumes on and asking our teachers to zip, snap, and attach necessary parts to our costumes that our moms had sent along in a plastic bag. Those poor teachers also had the duty of smearing on the make up our moms sent and spraying the color in our hair that we brought in an aerosol can.

We had fun games, dunked our made up faces in a bucket of water in hopes of getting an apple that other people’s face had been on, and then marched around the school for everyone to see our costumes.

After about 3rd grade, the fun wasn’t as fun anymore.

We didn’t have the money for fancy store-bought costumes and because we started discussing costume ideas about three days before Halloween, our costumes usually involved jeans and my dad’s hunting camo make-up stuff (I was a witch for many, many years in a row).

Even in college I never really cared about dressing up for Halloween parties.  It was too much work to be too uncomfortable.  And if a normal Sunday morning was somewhat “rough”, the day after a Halloween party was horrible because it usually involved doing laundry to get fake blood, hair color,  sweat, and beer out of your pillow case.

Just not worth it.

As a full-fledged adult living on my own, I thought Halloween was cute for exactly one year.  The first year I lived in our current house and was able to hand out trick or treat candy.  Growing up, we lived out where there were just no trick or treaters (we went to my cousin’s neighborhood to trick or treat).  The next year I realized that giving out candy is not all that awesome since I am not really a fan of grabby children.

I thought maybe my attitude would change once we had kids.

Eddie’s first Halloween was sort of nice. We dressed him up, took him to see his Grandmas, and then came home.  We successfully missed the trick or treaters and we didn’t have to actually go out trick or treating.

Eddie’s second Halloween was Ok too since there was no real trick or treating.  He did two houses and then was done.  And again, I sort of ignored trick or treaters.

Eddie’s third Halloween had all the signs of Halloween going bad. He was excited up until the actual day. Then he hated his costume, didn’t want to say trick or treat, was scared of everything…it ended in tears.

This year was the culmination of all the yuck about this “holiday”.

First, we picked our pumpkins out at the last minute, I didn’t bring my big camera to the “patch”, and Eddie was the pits during the carving so everything went so fast there was no time for action shots…or finished product shots.

even Charlie was angry about it all.

he wanted to actually carve so badly, but, well…he’s 3. knives were not happening. but tantrums were.

And then there was the actual day.  Halloween was on a work night so Cort had to rush to daycare to pick up the boys early, and I had to rush home from helping students after school (did I mention this week is the end of the first quarter? SO BUSY WITH ALL THE THINGS). Then we flew through dinner so quickly I am not even sure any of us tasted it.

In a blur of Cort cleaning up dinner and my getting the boys in their costumes we were out the door by 5:45pm to hit up the grandma’s houses to show off the boys and for them to collect their treat bags.

At least they are cute!

When we got back just before 7pm, I had barely turned the porch light on and the trick or treaters descended upon our house like moths to a flame. Cort took Eddie out into the neighborhood.  I should mention that Eddie whined the entire car ride from my mom’s house to my mother-in-law’s house about eating candy. And then whined from my mother-in-law’s house all the way to our house.  And then whined when we made him go potty before trick-or-treating. It was awesome.

Oh wait. no. It was not.

tiny tiger with a big growl…er…cry. every time he was forced into a car seat.

Eddie caught on to the trick or treating thing like a boss according to Cort.  Not surprising since he would do just about anything for a bite of chocolate. Including giving away his baby brother (which is why Charlie stayed home with me).

he wasn’t a fan of the stick on mustache, so I drew him one…apparently he was “creeper” mario.

When Eddie got back from trick or treating, he handed out candy to a few kids that came by before we turned off the porch light so we could do bedtime.  His costume was a huge hit with all the older kids.

After the Mario costume came off? All that whining he had been doing suddenly seemed like angelic singing compared to the all out devil tantrums he started throwing at bedtime.

That child didn’t finally stay in his bed without tears or fits until close to 10pm.

And mommy had to take an extra anxiety pill so she wouldn’t explode all over the house with ugliness.

Stupid Halloween.

Oh, and then to make it all just right?  Eddie puked at daycare this morning.  After having him home for the rest of the day, it has been determined that the puke was due to over-tired, over-excited, over-sugared.

Stupid Halloween.

The cuteness almost makes it all worth it. almost.

I’m chalking this year’s ugliness up to Eddie’s age and trying to cram too much in.

Next year, we may have to skip the grandmas and just do some trick or treating.  Because I just can’t handle it all.

I am not the mom who is awesome at Halloween.

I can accept that.  Hopefully my kids can too and they make friends with the kid whose mom is.

About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.


  1. Honestly? It’s cute to see kids in costumes but I think Halloween is the stupidest ‘holiday’ ever.
    Kudos to those who embrace it fully, I think it’s awesome of parents to dress up along with their kids and go out trick or treating. But I wouldn’t do it. Mostly because I don’t do dress up or costumes.
    So sorry yours was crap. Boo.

  2. I love Halloween in theory, but in practice it just feels rushed and overwhelming so I understand what you mean.

    We do some kind of Halloween event the weekend before like a museum, zoo, shops, whatever. That makes the actual day a little less crazy. This year hubs took a short lunch and we all ate a late lunch so we could go out a little earlier. We never really get any trick or treaters in our neighborhood so we went down to my parents’ neighborhood. That sorta gets two birds with one stone as the grandparents get to see her and we go trick or treating. DG took to trick or treating like a moth to flame and LOVES it every year. She walked for blocks and blocks this year. She’d probably still be out if we let her.

    We did end up getting home too late, eating dinner too late, going to bed too late and today was rough for DG too. I ended up having to pick her up from my mom early today. I totally understand. Thank goodness it’s just once a year!

  3. I had a puker too. And he’s 5. I do enjoy Halloween, but I think it is way too much excitement/sugar for the kiddos. I also many have 15 candy bar wrappers in my pocket.

  4. One year y’all are coming to richmond virginia for Halloween. We will turn this frown into a ghoulish howl in no time.

    Ps. I hate Thanksgiving so we all have holidays that aren’t for us or our families but we’re stuck with making them work.

  5. I actually wrote about the exact opposite thing. 🙂
    And yes, doing less is key, complete with very low expectations. We did 2 city blocks, the had a blast handing out candy for an hour.

  6. We had a nice one, but OMG the following day is ridiculous. My kids were messes. And we do a fairly low-key one that involves going to my mom’s and ignoring my house and neighborhood all together. Such great neighbors we are!

  7. TheNextMartha says

    Well. My younger son is 5 and for every year of his life, he’s been a jerk on Halloween. It’s like REALLY KID?! Maybe it’s the high energy of the day, maybe he picks up on the stress I have about it all, maybe it’s just the sugar. Now, I’ve always really liked Halloween. Something about playing a character works for me. But I respect not everyone does like it. And I still like you.

  8. Oh boy, oh boy… Can I tell you a secret? I’ve never been a huge Halloween fan. In Germany we didn’t celebrate Halloween (I’ve heard it’s becoming a thing there too now.) and the first time I went “trick or treating” I was a junior in high school and could not be bothered with a costume. I’m not one for dressing up. We didn’t have a pumpkin to carve this year because we went too late for a decent one… but I had some decorations out, the kids got loads of candy and had an awesome time at all their events. So, I guess, that’s all that matters. Give the boys a few years…

  9. we may be the same person, minus your current halloween issue ha.