Sometimes? My Kid is a Jerk

Tonight sucked.

Well it didn’t.  It was actually pretty great.  In fact, I was about to throw out a celebratory tweet or facebook update about how great of a mom I was tonight and how I rocked the socks of the home alone with Eddie while Cort had class deal.  Good thing I didn’t.  I would have been eating my words.

Cort left and we played for about 30 minutes and rocked out to some Little Einsteins.

I made dinner. We had mac n cheese and fruit salad.  Eddie scarfed down his pineapple and guava, but left the red papaya sit on his plate.  no biggie…he had a second helping of my awesome homemade Kraft mac n cheese.

Then we played some more until bath time…which is always a good time.

He helped me wash his hair (a new thing) by scrubbing with me and then pouring water over his head–rinsing all the pineapple juice and banana puree that he had managed to massage in at dinner.

After a quick dry off–he ran amok in the nude for a bit while playing a tambourine.

He even LET me put his diaper and jammies on him.

And in an unusual change of events, he even wanted to read books and snuggle through all of Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy (yes, we watch this before bed…it’s family friendly programing…and it’s educational.  Plus Eddie loves the music and clapping with the studio audience).

So the final credits rolled on Jeopardy, and I said, as usual, “Say goodnight to Louis.”

and he waved to the cat (as usual).

We rocked and sang and cuddled.

I put him in bed.

Then?  It’s like someone threw citric acid on the whole night.

We have had many, many, MANY great nights of me putting him to bed.

Tonight?  Was not one of them.

He cried.  Hard.

I rocked him.  Put him back to bed.

He cried.  HARDER.

I went in his room.  No pipey.  just tears and the shakey thing that happens when they can’t catch their breath from crying.

So I went and found the back-up pipey since his was no where to be found.

He was sort of warm, so I gave him some tylenol, rocked him, and put him back down.

Then there were cries like someone was eating his face.  They were awful.

I went in.  He stopped crying.  Just pointed.

No pipey.  I couldn’t find it anywhere.  He was all awake and chatty and so, in frustration, I set him out of the bed so I could look.

Neither pipey was ANYWHERE.

Dude.  And he just laughed and ran out of the room.


He was doing this crap on purpose.

He was being a JERK!

My kid was exhibiting jerk-like behavior!

I lost my…well…shit.  I lost my shit.

I didn’t want to yell at him, so I cried.  And cursed under my breath.

I sat that way for a few minutes while he went around chirping and playing with toys.

Then I marched into his room and tore that nursery from end to end until I found one of the pipeys.

I gave it to him, marched him back to his room, rocked him, and put him down.

It took TWO HOURS, loads of tears, and a number of swear words, but my kid is sleeping.

Wait…maybe I spoke too soon….

About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.


  1. Oh, friend. We have those nights around here. And there is no pipey in our house to hand over for some comfort. The only comfort Joshua gets? Snuggles from his Mama or Daddy. So that means that sometimes we go into his room no less than ten times once we put him to bed. We actually think he may be having “confusional arousals” which are cousins with night terrors. Eek.

    I hope you have some wine. You deserve it.

  2. We can post them already?

    And I’m laughing at your ending. It must have been all that fruit salad that got him all riled up.

    Those not in the know would never know you did it so well.

    • I think so. I usually do because I am a weird about liking to hit POST when I finish rather than scheduling posts. And since I am at work on Friday, I am not always right on it when it comes to linking up. So I just publish on Thursday nights 🙂

  3. They go through many stages my dear and this is one of them…it’s time he starts “testing” you to see how far he can go. Oh, the testing…

  4. I laughed until I just about peed my pants. I’m sorry! It was just that funny. Believe me girl, we’ve all been there. Kudos to you for not yelling at him…I wish I had that much resolve more often when it came to my own munchkin. I loved your post!

  5. Oh crap, one of THOSE nights! Sometimes it’s just all you can do to get them to bed…and you NEED them to go!!

    I find that the minute I’m doing the fist-pump and thinking I’m all awesome? That’s when they turn on me, and all of a sudden I suck.

    Tomorrow’s another day?

  6. My 2.5yo is ALWAYS pulling the stall tactics at bedtime. She needs another book, she’s hungry, she peed her diaper 😛

    It’s a damn good thing she is cute

  7. Good for your for not yelling.
    I do not have that much self control…
    Kids learn to be jerks at a young age, don’t let Eddie get too many rounds in. With my son, we’re going TRYING to get over the “hitting mommy/daddy/doggy is fun” phase.
    Good night!

  8. You went thro all that and created a post out of it – SuperMom girl, Supermom!
    I feel like a had most of my week like that, so much so I had to write about it for my Thankful Thursday – guess mostly thankful that my child was still alive and we both had emerged to the side 🙂
    Anyway, they don’t say TGIF just for the hell of it!

  9. You know what? I have a Cort too! He’s 17 months (and has a twin brother named Reid).
    Anyhow…yeah, hate nights like that. Mental exhaustion.

  10. I am amazed that you could retain your calm… Motherhood teaches patience.

  11. Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s amazing how early they learn to play us 🙂 Stick to your guns, and don’t give in. You won’t regret it later! (And I laughed about the TV shows…Logan asks every night if the “Wheel” show is on. He counts/says the letters as Vanna turns them).

  12. Doesn’t it suck when you realize that your kids can be butts?! Sometimes I just look at them and think “you’re a shit”! The problem is, they are probably shits more often than I give them credit for!

    I’m new to your blog…found you via twitter..that crazy twitter. ANywho, can’t wait to read more!

  13. Kids are prone to bouts of jerkiness. It’s been documented. Also, they are liars, hucksters, pickpockets, and cheats.

    That said?

    Bet he was pretty cute playing nude tambourine!

    Hold onto that part on the evening!

  14. Sigh. Kids. They make us so crazy sometimes, don’t they?

    Great writing!

  15. i had a momma melt down last night too. Had to call in reinforcements. Hate that. I think our kids are in cahoots!

  16. Awesome post. And it’s the story of my life. Even as the kids get older, bedtime seems to take for-ever! Visiting from TRDC.

  17. He was a TOTAL jerk! See, my kids are perfect, so I cannot relate to this AT ALL.


  18. Isn’t it so shockingly disturbing when our cute, precious, sweet little darlings exhibit jerk-like behavior?! Well done! :o)

  19. I have so been there. Although I resort to yelling. Not a good thing, I’m working on it. Why is it always bedtime?

  20. geez, I hate when kids are jerks.. and it’s amazing the amount of jerkiness they can dish out…
    and with my oldest we used to watch Wheel of Fortune every night as well, he loved yelling letters at the screen… well letter.. the only letter he seemed to know was E 😉

  21. Dude, this is totally why you are on the team now. So subtle! It sounds just like an everyday post on my blog. Fantastic job. And I can completely relate to the kid being a pain. Sigh. Good thing they’re so stinkin’ adorable, right?

  22. Oh my. I know how you feel. Sometimes…sometimes they can be really big stinkers! Oh and they totally know it too ;(

  23. Love the non-fiction aspect! I almost forgot about the prompt while reading! And oh my, this sounds like Ava. That one is adorable and yet so manipulative. That just means they’re smart. Right??

  24. I’ll bet it was all the laughter from your readers that woke him up. Sorry. But we couldn’t help it.

  25. Some days when both kids are total assholes, I feel so bad just sighing a huge sigh when they’re in bed.

    and then i go snuggle them for hours.

    They know we love them. They do.

  26. Sigh…been there. It’s miserable. That noise. Kids really need to understand how tired WE are at the end of the day. I have felt like screaming as well. I have, in fact, done just that. And cried, too.

    But, they do grow up. Mine are 5 and 2 and we are almost moving past this kind of nonsense.

    You’re doing great. Like an earlier poster said, remember that naked tambourine and those snuggles.


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