now

I first saw this lovely idea of doing a self-portrait post at my friend Grace’s blog.  And of course hers is stunning.  Not just the picture but her words.  She linked to this being Chelsey’s original idea.  Whoever thought it up…I love it.  And I am doing it.

So here we go…

Obsessing over…
The plans surrounding Charlie’s birth.  Sometimes I think knowing the date and time is just as bad for me as not knowing.  Luckily my mother-in-law is saving the day and taking Eddie in the morning so he can be FIRST to meet his brother.  That is VERY important to me for some reason.   And then we are saying no visitors until 4:00ish when people start getting off from work so I can actually rest and have alone time with my newborn…something I didn’t get last time.  But I can’t stop thinking about it.  The weird thing is that I really loved my hospital stay last time and I am hoping to love it just as much this time.  Weird? Maybe.

Working on…
Growing a baby, making long-term sub plans, giving all my free time to Eddie, and being nice to Cortney even when there is a foot in my ribs.

We are also perpetually working on Eddie’s Big Boy Room.

Thinking about…
What Charlie will look like…what will it be like to have two boys…what will it be like to sniff a baby head again…what Charlie’s personality will be like (please be chill like your daddy, Charlie)…how something has switched in my brain and I am totally looking forward to five plus months off from work to learn to be a mom of two….how much our lives are about to change.

Anticipating…
all the days on the calendar with NO PLANS and hoping to keep some of that just the way it is…and not apologize for it.

Listening to…
At this exact moment…The Grammys.  Lately, I have reignited my crazy love for Pearl Jam and cannot stop listening to live shows every morning on my drive in to work.

I’m also trying to listen to my body and my mind and my heart and doing what they need instead of what others might want.  That is where I went astray when I had Eddie and I refuse to do that again.

Eating…
Surprisingly well for being 9 months pregnant.  Small, fairly good for me meals and lots of fruit.

And lots and LOTS of peanut butter m&ms.

Wishing…
For a smooth rest of my pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby.

For a date with my cute husband ASAP after this baby is out and I can go up and down stairs again.

For ppd/a to just stay the crap away from me this time.

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