the potty monologues

I really didn’t expect to be blogging about potty training any time soon.

In fact, I have been completely ignoring the fact that my child will have to be potty trained at all.  I just keep telling myself, “he is two.  I’ll worry about it when he is three.”

Little did I know he would take matters into his own hands.

Well, sort of.

Cort and I have discussed this thing called “Potty Training”.   We often talk about pee and poop with Eddie.  He knows mommy and daddy do it in the “potty” and that we wipe and flush and all that.  He knows he does it in his diaper, but that eventually he will do it in the potty too.

About 8 months ago he showed some interest in sitting on the big potty and flushing, so we got him his own potty chair.

We didn’t try to train at all, we just let the potty chair sit in the bathroom.  Eddie knows what it is for and likes to sit on it with all his clothes on when we are on the can.

He also likes to sit on it before and after bath with no clothes on.

Only once has he actually put about two drops of pee in the potty.  And that was after grunting and trying because he wanted to be “like mommy.”

Ok then.

We never pushed.  We just encouraged him to sit on it or ask to sit on it when he wants to.

Recently he started needing “privacy” when he did his number two’s.  So we started enforcing privacy when Cort and I do our number two’s also.  He seems to “get it”.

We have been totally following his lead on this.

In fact, each incident seems to be completely at random since we are never really occupied with getting him “trained”.

That is why Tuesday night was such a huge deal.

It seemed to be a regular Tuesday night.  We had dinner, Cort put Eddie in the bath, I was busy grading papers.

You know we have dealt with aqua dumps, right?  So it is often repeated that “we do not poop in the tub.”

Before Eddie got in the tub, he was complaining that his “buns hurt.” So we kept asking him if he had to poop.  He said no, whipped off his diaper, and went running for the tub.

Ok then.

The regular hair washing and what not went on and then Eddie was allowed to play.  Since the child feels the need to narrate EVERYTHING he is doing, we can pretty much let him play and sit around the corner to watch the news.

So that is what Cort did.  And then we heard, “A poop tub”.

Wait. What?

Cort and I just looked at each other.  We heard it again, “Daddy…a poop.  tub.”

Cort took a deep breath, got up, and muttered, “well this can’t be good,” and walks around the corner.  This is what I heard:

Cort: What buddy?  Did you poop in the tub?

Eddie: No.  Yeah.  No. Poop.

Cort:  There’s no poop in the tub.  Do you have to go poop?

Eddie:  Yeah.  No poop in tub.  Poop.

Cort:  Did you want to get out and sit on the potty?

Eddie:  Yeah. Poop inna potty.

Cort:  Ok, then.  Come on bud.

And then I heard some shuffling and some water dripping and then…

Cort:  Are you cold?  Here, put this towel around you.

Eddie:  Go way.

Cort:  You want me to leave?  Ok.  But STAY ON THE POTTY.  Tell me if you think you need to get up.

Eddie: Ok. Go way.

So Cort walks out and looks at me.  I look back silently, raising my eyebrows.  He shrugs.

Then pee happens.  IN THE POTTY!

We are all celebratory and cheering.

But Eddie insists he has to poop.  So he keeps sitting, all the while announcing, “I PEE IN POTTY, DADDY.  I PEE IN POTTY MOMMY!” from spot in the bathroom.

Cort is giggling about the fact that our son is completely nude, sitting on a plastic potty, draped in a hooded towel.  He insists I take a picture…or at least peek at it.

And even though I feel that I have met my quota of embarrassing pictures of my oldest on the potty, I can’t help but grab the camera.  As I am about to snap a picture, I hear a loud, juicy noise come from the bathroom.

I look at Cort to see if he heard it.

He did.  (He didn’t have to say anything.  The look of shock followed by uncontrollable giggles gave it away).

“Eddie, did you just poop?” I ask as I quickly snap a picture.

“Yeah, I POOP!”  He smiles.

I cheer him on, as Cort comes in to discuss the “doneness” of this poop.  There is wiping and congratulations and then Eddie asks to get back in the tub.

Cort and I promise him a treat when he gets out.

After bath, as he is eating his m&ms (which he thanks me for three times…with hugs), we talk about getting m&ms whenever he does the pee and poo and how if he can do that a lot, I will take him to pick out his own underwear.

He is excited.

So excited that it is what he talks about with me as we rock to sleep that night.

And what he announces to me in the morning before I go to work.

And what he tells everyone at daycare about.

Of course he hasn’t done it since.

But we aren’t pushing.

He’ll do it again when he is ready.

He’s only two after all.