a nation of my own

Happy Wednesday (and el día de los muertos)!  It’s time again for me to bring you a lovely new Recruit.  If you are new, you can find out what a Sluiter Nation Recruit is here.

This week I am happy to bring you Elizabeth from The Writer Revived and The Mom Pledge.  I can’t even remember when Elizabeth and I first connected.  I feel like she has just always been there in my corner rooting me on while I whined spilled my feelings to you all here on the blog.

Elizabeth is a lovely writer and I have been honored to be a bloggy friend of hers.  She has done something I don’t think I ever could.  She quit working to be a stay at home mom.  I still don’t know how you SAHMs do it every day…you ALL have my utmost respect.

I am beyond honored to have Elizabeth here today sharing some of her words about how she manages.

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The feeling of isolation I experienced when I left my career to stay home with my daughter was intense. My world shrunk so severely it was essentially limited to the four walls of our house.

And really, in the very early days I only spent my time in the bedroom, bathroom or kitchen. I don’t think that is a natural state of existence for anyone, least of all someone as social as I am.

It was the one aspect of stay at home motherhood I was least prepared for. I had been focused on what was in my daughter’s best interest. I’m not sure I gave much consideration to whether it was in mine.

Wanting to stay home with her was one thing. The reality of being there was quite another. I had almost no connection to the outside world. And I hated it.

Blogging and social media enabled me to connect with other moms. To feel as if I had a life again outside of those four walls. I daresay it saved me.

I started blogging to reconnect with my passion for writing. I had no idea it would connect me with women from all over the world I could relate to.

When I’m facing an issue with my child or have a parenting question? They share their experiences with me in an honest, nonjudgmental way.

When I need to rant? They understand.

When I’m having a difficult day and think I can’t take one more minute? They help me through.

When I am working toward a goal? They encourage me.

When I have something to celebrate? They are my cheering section.

They make me laugh. They make me cry. They make me think.

They add to my life. They brighten my days. They inspire me.

Some people say you don’t really get to know others online. You don’t “see” their authentic self. You see snippets. The better side. The part they want you to see.

I say I know more about some of the people I’ve met online than I do the people I know “in real life.” And vice versa. And I do consider them to be friends.

I’ve built my own little nation, full of amazing women I adore and admire. In the process, I developed a greater sense of myself and where I am in my life. My world no longer has walls. It has expanded, and so has my point of view.

I am absolutely thrilled and honored to be part of Sluiter Nation. Thank you, Katie, for inviting me!

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No, thank YOU, Elizabeth for sharing your heart with us today!

You should of COURSE go check out Elizabeth at her blog…

A beautiful  way to get to know Elizabeth if you don’t already know her:  Celebrating

Her most popular post to date (and the reason there are certain times of the month Eddie does NOT see me in the bathroom):  Say What!?

A big topic on her blog is the fact that her daughter struggles with Childhood Apraxia of Speech: Chatty Cathy

An absolute fave of Elizabeth’s and a wonderful impromptu moment:  The Places We’ll Go

Don’t be shy…hop on over and visit Elizabeth.

look at this while I am gone…

This weekend I am going to be too busy with blogging stuff to blog.

Wait.  What?

Yes, you read that correctly.

It’s because I am going to my very first blogging conference!

Gleek Retreat is being held in my home town, and I would be a fool to pass it up!

While I am spending Saturday and Sunday meeting bloggers and learning stuff, I want to leave you with something to look at here in Sluiter Nation.

The lovely and talented Elizabeth created a wonderful community called The Mom Pledge Community.

The whole idea is that we need to love, nurture, and support each other as mothers instead of judging and tearing each other down.

To become a member, you need to take The Pledge and blog about it.

And then put this badge on your blog:
BWS tips buttonI totally have this on my sidebar because I proudly took the Pledge here in Sluiter Nation!

Our community is now almost 300 members strong!

And just this week, Elizabeth put together a really kick-ass video to showcase a bunch of us.

It’s beautifully made and is exactly…EXACTLY…what The Mom Pledge is all about.

So, while I am out learning how to make Sluiter Nation better, I leave you with this…

 

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Have you taken The Pledge yet?

What are you waiting for?

taking it to the fence

The first time I stood up to a bully I was in the fifth grade.

I don’t remember what I was doing, but I do remember someone I didn’t know approaching me.

“Are you Chris R’s sister?”

“Yeah, why?”

“He needs you.  Someone is bullying him.”

That was all I needed to hear.  I turned to head straight for The Little Kid Playground.  I went over the invisible line between playgrounds risking…well…I have no idea what I was risking.  It was just understood that you didn’t cross into the other playground.

The bully had my brother backed up against a chain link fence and was taunting him with fat jokes.

My brother was a hefty little guy.

With adorable freckles.

With perfectly straight hair.

With the best smile in the world.

And this jerk was making him scared and attempting to make him feel bad about himself.

With his words.

I didn’t even stop to think.

I grabbed the bully, flung him against the fence, and with me face in his hissed, “NO BODY CALLS MY BROTHER FAT BUT ME!”

I gave him a couple good shoves and told him to never come near my brother again.

I don’t like violence, but I do feel compelled to stick up for the little guy.

Bullying is abhorrent to me.

Roughly 20 years later I was again standing up to bullies for the little guy, but this time the little guy was my nephew.  Chris’ son.

He was innocently playing in the McDonald’s play thing when a couple kids (who were way too big to be in the tunnels) blocked his way and started calling him a baby.

Again I stepped in and told those kids to grow up.  Then I marched over to their oblivious mothers and clued them in to what they were too busy to see.

Bullying is NOT ok.

And now I find myself in this world called Mommy Bloggers where we are all supposed to be adults.  We know the difference between right and wrong.

Or we should.

But there are still people out there…ADULTS…who feel the need to bully other adults.  Or try to.

And why?  To try to reinforce their own shaky beliefs?  To make themselves feel right because they lack the self-esteem to just believe in themselves?

It doesn’t matter.

I don’t tolerate it.  Not here.  Not in my space.

Yes, I am a Mommy Blogger.

Yes, I make choices that are not popular with everyone.

Yes, I make choices that are totally mainstream.

Because it’s my right to do so.

And it’s your right to disagree with me.  But not in a condensing, bullying manner.

Sluiter Nation is not a place for jerk-holes.

Bullying is NOT ok with me, and in real life, I will stand up to bullies against me or anyone else all day long.

Here?  I will not give platform to someone who is nothing but a troll.

Differing opinion is welcome.  Douche-baggery is not.

The blog world–specifically the MOMMY Blog world–is a community.  And a community needs each other for support…not to tear each other down.

Sluiter Nation will never be part of tearing anyone down…only lifting people up.

And being a support and voice when needed.  Just run over the line and come get me and I’ll be there for you.

Just ask my brother and my nephew.
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