China Misunderstandings

About four months ago, Eddie inquired as to why I sit when I pee prompting my very brief and simple explanation that girls do not have penises.  Apparently his mind then assumed we ladies pee out of our butts, so I needed to tell him about vaginas.  There was no “show and tell” or anything, I just said girls do not have a penis that hangs out like boys have, we have vaginas and we need to sit or peeing would be very, very messy.

Other than his randomly peeking around the corner of the bathroom door at me when I was peeing, he let that explanation be enough.


Eddie has started to ask “is this for boys or for girls?” about almost everything.

If you know me at all, this question makes me simultaneously sad and angry. Gender stereotypes at this age are, at best, annoying.

Our answer is “if you like it, it’s for YOU.”

We try to discourage anything being “for boys” of “for girls” at this age.

(don’t even get me started on how I almost lectured a poor McDonald’s’ drive thru worker for asking if the happy meal I ordered was for a boy or a girl. I’m not proud of that momma snap moment).

Anyway, Eddie has a lot of girls he plays with at daycare–his best friend is a girl–and he loves princesses, purple, and tiaras.  He also loves dinosaurs, monster trucks, and trains.

It’s all good, yo.

But it is a constant, conscious effort on my and Cort’s part to make sure he knows that we support his interests no matter what they are.


Eddie has a responsibility chart.

Each night while he brushes his teeth, we go down the chart.  If he has done a good job with each “task” he gets a magnetic smile face:

“Did you get dressed on your own?  Did you clean up your toys?  Did you say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’?  Did you use your listening ears?  Did you get ready for bed?”

If he gets all his smile faces for a week, he gets to pick a treat.

A few weeks ago he did it and picked going to the donut shop with Cortney.  They got their treats, and sat at a table chatting and eating.  When they were about done, Eddie asked for a quarter to get a cheap piece of crap prize out of one of those bubble gum-looking machines.

Since Cort is much nicer than I am, he gave Eddie a quarter.  The prize?  A pink ring.

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Eddie turned it over and looked at it and asked Cortney what it said.

“Made in China.”

Eddie took it back, frowned and thrust it at Cort.

“I don’t want this. It’s just for girls!

Cort sighed and asked him why he thought that, prepared to once again explain that pink is NOT just for girls if he likes it.

“Because, dad.  Only girls have chinas!”

“Um. Ok.  Tell your mother about that,” Cort replied as he shoved the ring in his pocket.


I tried to explain to Eddie that CHINA is a place and a VAGINA is what girls have.

He didn’t seem convinced that I knew what I was talking about.

And then, later that day, we were listening to the Sofia the First soundtrack’s song “Blue Ribbon Bunny”.

I dig up a tasty gourmet lunch
and serve it on china
’cause when we’re talkin’ ’bout food my friend
there’s nobody fina!

And then Eddie asked me if Clover was a girl since he is singing about his ‘china.

I think I have to wave my white flag.

I just…I can’t anymore.