It’s Friday…

It’s Friday.  I have some things to flip-off.  So why don’t we begin….

Oh, but I need to give a big holla to my girl, Gigi, at Kludgy Mom for being the brilliance behind this Friday fun!  So…HEY!

First, I am flipping off how tired I am.  I flipped this off last week too, but it is starting to become dangerous.  Yesterday morning, on my way into work?  I drifted onto the rumble strips.  Don’t tell my mom.  She would freak.  Oh wait…hi mom.  FLIP OFF EXHAUSTION!

Next, I want to flip off our crashed motherboard.  Thanks a lot for taking out our server.  Now I can’t back anything up and I am all sorts of nervous about losing things.  Even though I probably won’t.  But I will worry nonetheless…because that is what I do.

While we are on the subject of technologically electronic whatnots that are supposed to make my life lovely, I would like to flip off my eye-fi card that my stupid computer refuses to find and therefore I had to do flip-offs tonight instead of the funny post about how my son ate a rubber spatula.  I KNOW!  Total flip-off because now you all have to wait to get that story.  Oh, and the story about a plastic turd.  See?  You are all wishing you could read about eaten cookware and random fake poo, and you can’t all because of my eye-fi card.  FLIP OFF!

Um, there is also this nagging feeling inside me that I would like to flip-off.  I am loving my jobs.  Really.  But now that I am gone so much?  That feeling that had gone away all summer is creeping back in.  Guilt.  The mom fail feeling.  I KNOW I am not a fail.  My head KNOWS this.  But my heart…that place that now belongs to my wee little boy?  Is starting to ache.  It’s filling up with stabby, pointy, sharp things.  Guilt is sharp.  Did you know that?  So I need to flip-off that guilt.  And ask it to quit shanking my heart.  Hmmm…that sounds like an Elton John song…”don’t go shanking my heart….I won’t go shanking your heart…”

Wait.  What?  What was I doing?  Oh yeah…the flip-offs. (see?  I need SLEEP people!)

So lastly I would like to flip-off my feet.  Yes, my feet. I don’t know what else to do about them.  I exfoliate them.  I lotion them.  I scrub them.  And they are STILL so dry and cracked that I stopped wearing sandals WAY too soon because I didn’t want people to see my feet.  SERIOUSLY!  Why can’t I have baby soft toes!  Why do I look like I have hooves down there instead of lady feet?  Honestly?  FLIP OFF!!

Ok…that feels better.  Very big weight off.  Now?  I need sleep so I don’t die on my way into work in the morning.

Oh but wait!  Check out the lovely and talented Momma Kiss for her flip-offs and a list of linky linkys to clicky clicky to read more Friday Flip-offs.

Happy weekend to you all.  Get some sleep, will ya?

McFatty Monday…The First Post

**CAUTION: this post is me being the most honest I have ever been about my most hated subject: my weight**


I am doing it.  I am joining McFatty Mondays.

sigh.

I have been reading many of my bloggy friends do McFatty Mondays now for a WHILE (including Blair, who came up with this ridiculous great idea), and I have been rooting them on and thinking them so great and brave and awesome for putting their celebrations and failures out there on the old internet for all to see.

I didn’t want to do it though.

Until now.

You guys?  I watched that dumb vlog of mine.  And I wanted to cry at the hot dog that is under my chin and the rolls on my gut.

When did this happen!?!?!

Today I had Cort take pics of me.  Caution: these are extremely scary.  I almost vom-ed a little in my mouth when I looked at them.  But here they are:

DUDE!  who stuck a spare tire in my tank top?  And what are my shorts DOING?  They are long, they are not supposed to try to ride up into my nether regions like that…oh wait, my thighs are eating them!

This is so sad.  This is the same place I stood June of 2009 to pose for my 9 month preggo picture.  See…

Now here is the part that blew my mind.

When I went in one day before giving birth?  My weight was 198.  I had only gained 20 pounds.  Cort and I had fist bumped because my goal was to keep it under 200 and I did it!

After having Eddie, I lost all 20 of those pounds plus 10 more.  See how great I looked….

And then…somehow somewhere, I found all THIRTY of those pounds back.

People?  Today I weighed in at 195.  ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE POUNDS.  that is only 3 less than when I gave BIRTH to a 9.5 pound child.

Cort and I discussed after I wanted to start knifing the fat off that this is what happened….

Before getting pregnant I had decided I need to lose weight.  So I hit the gym HARD and bettered my eating habits.  I was down to 175ish when I first got pregnant.

I didn’t stop when I was pregnant.  Well, I did, because I was throwing up and tired all the time, but I also quit all soda, coffee, and junk.  I wasn’t hungry for any of it anyway, so it was easy to quit.  I actually continued to lose weight the first couple months of pregnancy.

After the first trimester, I started walking again.  And the only snacks I had were fruit and the OCCASIONAL jelly belly.

I did so great.

After Eddie was born?  I lost all the weight.  I truly think it’s because I was so sore, tired, and overwhelmed that food did not sound good to me for over a month after he was born.

I didn’t start to notice weight going back ON my body until after Christmas. And then it was just a small amount.  I promised myself I would get back into shape once my crazy schedule chilled out.

But I didn’t.  What I did was start anti-depressants.  That had a side effect of weight gain.

Couple that with not eating the best foods and doing zero exercise and I had a bit of a problem.

I tried running this summer.  I really did.  My knee injury did not help the quest for exercise.  And then with me being the crazy quitter that I am, I never really got back on the training wagon like I should have.

That being said, next week’s 5K is going to be more of a run/walk than a run.

Ahem.  Anyway.

So now that I weigh the same as I did when I gave birth, I hate myself.  Ok, I don’t hate my WHOLE self, but I am really, REALLY mad and disappointed with what I have let happen.

I am so driven to succeed in every other area of my life…why can’t this be one too?

And that is how I ended up on McFatty Monday.

Every Monday I hope to share my failures and my celebrations (please, please let there be more celebrations than failures!).  I’ll share what works and where my pitfalls are.

Right now I know that regular exercise just can’t be fit into the schedule, but that doesn’t mean I am not going to try to be healthier.

So…here I go.

Friday Flip-Offs

Fridays are generally when I link up with Kludgy Mom for Friday Flip-offs.  It’s a super great way to vent about all the stuff in the past week that has added to the stress and torture of actually getting through the week.

Well, Gigi (Kludgy Mom) is still busy with her back to school blogging (which you should check out because it’s a great idea for those who have MORE time now that school is back in session…that would not be me), so to link up to the Flip-offs we are headed over to the lovely Momma Kiss’s place today….

1. I am first flipping off this new sleep schedule I am apparently on.  I have gone from getting and average of 9 hours of sleep (my bare minimum for survival during the day) to getting hardly 6 hours.  This is not good.  I spend WAY too much time on twitter (you all are addicting.  did you know this?  Quit signing on and being all entertaining at my bedtime. ahem). Something is going to have to give.  This morning I almost drove off the road on my way into work because my eyes wanted to close out of sheer exhaustion.  So a big finger-wagging flip-off to lack of sleep.

2. In connection to that I am also flipping off my crappy time management skills as of late.  I am getting stuff done, but I am tired.  And I am skipping things like breakfast.  Not good.  Flip-off.

3. As much as I love my job, my class sizes are getting ridiculous.  I have 36 desks in my classroom and my largest two classes are at 37.  I have been trying not to complain since I know there is a freshman English class with 49 students right now and they have kids sitting on the floor in between desk rows.  But these large class sizes?  Are no good for student achievement let alone classroom management.  Hopefully we get some teachers called off the lay-off list and the schedules figured out soon. Until then? Flip-off!

4. Ok, this one is a little embarrassing, but it’s been driving me nuts.  I REALLY need to get in to my stylist (my cousin) and get my hair dyed and get my eyebrows waxed.  Gray hairs are sprouting out of my 32 year-young head and dark hairs are growing where I don’t want them on my face.  I hate all the maintenance of being an adult woman!  I have shrubs growing above my eyes!  And also?  What is with the random chin hairs!?!?  So for all the care and time I have to put in to making the hair on my dome look good (or go away, depending on its location), I say FLIP OFF!

WHEW!  That felt pretty good.

Now it’s your turn.  What are you flipping off this week?

Friday Flip-offs #6 and the Giveaway Winners!

Before I start flipping stuff off from my week, I need to get down to some much awaited business.  That would be the business of the winners….so….here they are:

Tie A Little Ribbon $15 Store Credit:  Pua
JSanken Photography prints:  Tricia
Gussy $30 store credit: Ann
Bird E Studios bib, paci clip, diaper clutch bundle:  Blair
The Vintage Pearl $25 store credit: Mormishmom
Yay!!!  I am super excited for all of you!  You have 48 hours (until Sunday morning) to claim your prize by emailing me at ksluiter (at) hotmail (dot) com.  If you don’t get to me by then?  I will draw a new winner.
Oh, and come back next week!  25 Design and I are teaming up for…ANOTHER GIVEAWAY!  Woot!
And now for the less exciting stuff….the flip-offs.

First?  I need to re-flip off roseola.  Just because um, hello?  you struck my son TWICE this summer!  That is not even supposed to be able to happen!  You are mean and make him grumpy and sad. Cut it out!  and?  FLIP OFF!

Next, I am going to go ahead and flip off long, boring meetings. I realize that back to school means meetings.  I get that.  But why, oh why do they have to be so long and boring?  We hear the same thing every year (or semester depending on which of my teaching jobs we are talking about).  Either how great the school is doing and growing and how they can’t do it without us or how we are still losing students and cuts are imminent (again) and that we need to work harder on improving test scores.  I mean, can’t this be summed up better?  Or have the time be more useful?  I don’t know…it just sucks to jam it all in at once and burn everyone out right at the start..  so, um…FLIP OFF!

Also, I need to flip off rude emails.  In my experience, if you don’t know what you are talking about?  Don’t go on a rant.  You look like an idiot.  And?  I will flip off your email on my blog.  So flippity flip off.

And lastly, on a serious note, I want to flip off unemployment.  Really, unemployment?  You suck the worst.  Not because you rob our family of money for groceries, bills, and Eddie’s college fund (well for those things too), but because you make my wonderful, talented, sweet husband feel like crap from time to time. He tries so hard not to let you get to him, but sometimes?  You make him feel like less than he really is and that makes me want to go all medieval on you.  I hate you, unemployment.  Hate.  So I am flipping you off.  And if I could?  I would also kick you in your arse. And tell you to suck it.

WHEW!  Ok!  That feels better!

What is that you say?  You want even MORE flip-offs?  Well, then, head over to my girl, Kludgy Mom’s and read hers (and the eleventy billion others who have linked up)…and if you are feeling all flippity too?  Join in!

Friday Flip-offs #4

Aw..yeah…you know what day it is today!  FRIDAY!  And Friday means?  Friday Flip-offs courtesy of my girl, Gigi over at Kludgy Mom.She is the brain child behind this wonderfully therapeutic Friday blog meme, and I am forever grateful to her.  So you really should go check out what she is flipping off too!

Ok…let’s get started, shall we?

First, I would like to flip off entering month 10 of Cort’s unemployment.  While we are thankful for the few (stress FEW) interview opportunities?  A little recognition of his awesome enjoyability skills and then a JOB would be nice.  So FLIP OFF!

Also?  I would like to flip off tantrums.  I really thought we had at LEAST until 18 months before those started, but no.  Eddie arches his back, sits down, and flip the crap right out.  sigh…

I also need to flip off people who do not return emails.  This?  Is incredibly frustrating.  Now you’re all wondering and scouring your inboxes to see if you missed an email by me, but in all reality?  I am probably not talking about anyone who reads this little ole blog.  But for those people who have no idea that I am passively aggressively cranky at them?  Flip off!

And lastly?  To the nail polish that chipped off in one giant chunk from my big toe less than TWO WEEKS after getting a pedicure and just days before I have to go to a wedding.  Seriously?  What the ham sandwich?  Now my toe is all ugly.  Bah.  FLIP OFF!

Whew!!!  That feels so much better!  I am all cleansed and zen and stuff now.  Do you want to flip something off?  You can leave a comment or you can head over to Kludgy Mom and link up your own (and read a ton of other blogs who are flipping stuff off too!)

Oh and also?  I am over at Beloved Mama today talking about fun stuff to do in the summer.  You should really head over there and check it out…I mean, there ARE cute pictures of Eddie involved.  See you there!

Sluiter Nation is NOT Going to BlogHer ’10

Wait…some of you may be wondering what the ham sandwich BlogHer even is.

BlogHer is the BIGGEST blogger conference of the year.  This year it’s this coming weekend in New York City. There are all sorts of workshops and parties and networking opportunities and swag and sponsors and…and…and ALL MY FAVORITE BLOGGERS (well, a LOT of them).  In my head?  It is all glamorous and wonderful and there is talk and hugs and learning and love going on.

Sluiter Nation will not be there.

What?!?  Why not?  I can hear you gasping as you read that.  Yes, I know.  Sounds right up my alley.  Sounds like loads of fun.  Sounds like the ULTIMATE girls weekend away.

Yup, still not going.

Twitter is all a, well twitter, with #blogher talk.  Everyone is discussing what to pack, where to meet, who is rooming with whom.  It’s a big slumber party!

And I’m not going.

Sigh.

It’s not because I don’t want to!  And yes, I am hugely jealous of those going.  Every time someone new tweets about it?  I get a little sad I won’t be there.

But here is the thing…I found out about it WAY TOO LATE.

I know, I know..I’ve been blogging for three years.  But really?  I have just been in this world of blogging/twitter for just over two months. I was all unaware of this community of bloggers!  I didn’t even know BlogHer existed three months ago, and by that time?  It was all sold out.

Plus?  It is SUPER expensive.  I have decided if I want to go next year?  I need to start saving now. Or three months ago.  Anyway, I need to start saving.

So, that all being said…I hope everyone going has a super fabulous time…but to you ladies who are home with me this weekend?  Cheers to you!  Link up below and we can have our own pity wine party!

Friday Flip-offs #3

Good morning, everyone!  As is my new Friday tradition, I am linking up with my girl, Kludgy Mom and flipping off all the things that made me crabby this week.

But if you want to read MORE Sluiter Nation today?  I am over at my partner in running, Loving the Burn, talking about my fitness journey.  Be warned:  there is more talk about how I HATE fitness then how much I love it.  So go check her out and leave some commenty love over there!

And now?  Here they are….

First up this week are all the poopy diapers Eddie has had.  Seriously?  We have been up two hours and I’ve already changed two.  And he thinks it’s hilarious.  It is not.  Flip off.

Also?  That pesky molar that has been giving Eddie trouble sleeping?  While I appreciate that you are now through?  You still bug him.  So flip off to you my pearly white friend.

The 18 mosquito bites that I had on my legs that somehow multiplied to 28 bites and make my legs look like I shoot up heroin all over the place?  Um, yes.  I WAS going to wear a skirt to a wedding tomorrow and now I am considering pants because of you.  Big massive flip off!

And lastly to the weight that has decided to settle around my midsection and make me too fat for all the cute dresses I bought last year for weddings.  I just wanted to be cute again this year for weddings and you are making me feel all self-conscious and round.  uncool, belly fat.  uncool.  FLIPPITY FLIP OFF!

It’s your turn!!! Head over to Kludgy Mom’s and read some more or link up your own!

And then head over to Loving the Burn and read about how I wish I could still eat pizza and LOSE weight.

We Don’t Camp, but We Did Anyway

 
As I have mentioned before, camping is not our ideal vacation here in Sluiter Nation.  We enjoy air conditioning, a real bed, a private bathroom.  I know…it’s asking a lot.  I just like to feel rested and clean when I go away…not like a bug-bitten, squirrely-haired, greasey-faced hot mess.
However…each year Cort’s mom and stepdad take all of us “kids” up north to tent camp and canoe.  They all really enjoy camping and we don’t want to be the lame-o party poopers who don’t go.  Plus?  Cort’s side of the family?  Oh they bring the fun.  So I complain for a few days, but I pack it up and head in to the wilderness.  We DID get a new tent this year (thanks, Lynne!!!) so we weren’t in a little pup tent.  That was a BIG plus.
Especially because Friday night?  It rained sheets down upon us.  Buckets and sheets and cats and dogs. Saturday morning it was still pouring.  That of course meant that our trip to the bathroom equaled muddy flip flops and gross toes. And it meant no hobo pies for breakfast.

But we did improvise!  We all crammed in to the screened in tent and Ray made us our breakfast sandwiches on the little gas stove top. He made bacon and then egg, ham, and cheese grilled sandwiches.  YUM!

Since it was so rainy and gross, we were sort of thinking we wouldn’t be able to canoe until at least noon.  So we were all just lazing around.  Around 10:15am we got word that we would be canoeing at 10:30!  The mad scramble to get all canoe-ready began.

All ten of us got on the river around 11:00am.  We were told it was a three hour paddle.  But wait…who paddles?

As if I wasn’t already a big steaming hot mess after a rainy night in a tent, nasty feet from muddy flip flops, and no make-up, it was about to get much worse.

Everyone took turns “launching” their canoes.  I sad in the front of ours patiently waiting for Tom and Kristin to get their canoe off and floating.  I was sitting there minding my own business when…SPLASH!  I was gasping for breath as I came up from the bottom of the river!

Apparently, my superman of a husband thought he could shove us off and leap into our canoe all while not telling me what he was doing.  Um, no.  Now I was completely soaked, my leg was scraped up, and I had a bruised hand.  Even hotter mess than before.  But after I rung out my tank top and bandanna, I was in good spirits again!

After all, it was an accident, and look at that smile?  How can I be angry at that?  Plus, let’s be honest, he does all the canoe work.  I don’t have to do anything but ride along.  And sip my, uh, beverage.  I like that about canoeing.

See?  Sorry…this picture is sort of a hot mess.  This is what happens when I camp, fall in a river, and then smile really big while squinting into the sun.  Oh and that guy behind me?  Yup, I married him.  He is mine.

The river was higher than normal due to all the rain so there weren’t as many place to have pit stops as usual.  We did a lot of this:  Party Barging.  There I am with my girls!  Sisters-in-law MacKenzie and Liz and our friend, Kristin!  These girls are why camping?  Isn’t as bad as it could be.  And canoeing?  Is awesome.

We did find some places to stop.  I mean, we had to have bathroom breaks, right?  I am not sure what Tom and Cody are discussing here, but it reminds me of when my Mom-in-law said to Tom, “Hey Tom.  It’s pretty hot out here.  Why don’t you take your sleeve off?”  I mean seriously?  That was the funniest dang thing I heard all day.  My mom-in-law making a tattoo joke?  awesome.

There was lots more fun on the river.  Mom and Ray tipped in their canoe.  Cody and Liz tipped in their canoe (and then MacKenzie and Dave dragged Liz down the river until Cody could get the water out of the canoe and pick her up).  There were millions of turtle-sightings and even more laughs and jokes.

By the time we got off the river, we were all tired…and looking a little worse for wear.  We dragged ourselves back to camp, played some hillbilly golf, made some hot dogs, rested, and enjoyed being eaten alive by mosquitoes.

Yes, Sluiter Nation was sun burned, tired, achy, and did I mention tired?  We probably could have used a nap!

And aside from a brief panic attack on my part Saturday night (we had no phone service and I couldn’t call to check on Eddie.  Plus I mixed anti-depressants and some booze.  not good.  lesson learned), the weekend was very fun!  I was proud of myself from changing my attitude from angerball to happy pants. 

Even if by Sunday morning when we were packing up, I was sure I could smell myself.  I think that might just be the definition of a hot mess.

And as it turned out?  Eddie had a GREAT time at my parents’ house!  He was back to his old funny, silly, happy self when we picked him up Sunday morning.  Go figure.  I freaked out for nothing.  What else is new?

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Friday Flip-offs #2

Last week I tried Friday Flip-offs for the first time here in Sluiter Nation.  It felt great!  I love that KludgyMom does this link up every week.  It’s hilarious and cathartic to flip off all the shiz in life.  So here I go…

First of all, to Eddie’s fever and roseola rash?  Um, you made my little boy all tired and sad and clingy and not his usual fun self this week.  That sucks.  FLIP OFF!

To those storms last night…while I appreciate a great storm every now and then?  I do NOT love super severe weather that makes me feel like I need to watch that idiot Kyle on WoodTv8 for hours to make sure a tornado is not going to take my deck off.  Storms?  You get a double-fisted flip-off.

Speaking of last night, whatever it is that was making Eddie not sleep and need to constantly be held, but not really want to be held, but was preventing him from sleeping soundly?  Flip-offs from both me AND Cort! (that is four middle fingers, by the way).  Do NOT do that for Grandma this weekend!

To my dry, itchy skin and cracked feet…seriously, where did you COME FROM?  You make me feel all icky and gross and ugg-o.  cut it out.  Oh and FLIP OFF!

And finally, to my bad attitude about camping and canoeing this weekend.  Yes, Cort and I are dropping off our little Eddie Bear to my parents’ house and going tent-camping/canoeing with Cort’s side of the family.  We will have LOADS of fun, but I am having separation anxiety about leaving my on the mend little guy.  I have been trying to find all the reasons why this will be a sucky weekend, but in reality?  I love this side of the family SO much!  They bring the fun like no other and we will have a RIOT.  So flip-off to the attitude.  You are not welcome anymore!

So there you go.   Whew.  That actually feels much better.  And now that that is done and I have a venti starbucks coffee in my system, I can handle this day!  Now excuse me while I find my camping gear!

Oh, and to read more Friday Flip-offs, be sure to go visit Kludgy Mom!!

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