We’re All Toilet Trained. Almost.

Ok so it’s Wednesday again and that means I have another Sluiter Nation Recruit for you.  Need a reminder about what a Recruit is?  Start here.

So today is a little different.  I have a Recruit.  And she is a blogger, but she is MORE a tweeter than she is a blogger.

In fact, Jen has a few blogs that she claims to ignore.  Her least ignored one is The Martha Project.  I know, I know…some of you who know her from twitter are like, “Jen blogs?”

I have to say that even though she is not an avid blogger, she belongs here as a Recruit for so many reasons.

First of all she is funny.  I mean the things she says will make you spit out whatever is in your mouth at the time…including your own tongue.

She is also super sincere and passionate.  Jen is someone I can trust to tell me the truth, whip me back to reality, and then make my laugh.  Plus she is fiercely devoted to making sure her Gifted and Talented son gets the best education and is not just handed mediocrity because that is the level of the rest of the class.

The teacher in me gives a fist pump and a “hell YES!” whenever I read her education tweets.

And she is funny.

Wait.  Did I say that already?  Well I should remind you of that before you continue.

Set down your coffee and get ready. (and mom, you’ve been warned.)

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I always get a little freaked out about guest posts. I don’t claim to write well, and then I have Katie “recruiting “me. Just look at those other recruits. It’s like a game of “which one of these things is not like the other.” So here I am. I apologize in advance from your regular program of excellent writing.

I don’t have a stockpile of post ideas. I generally wait until something happens and the moon aligns before I actually take the time to do anything more than 140. This time around? It was especially hard. To relate to Katie, I could go the second kid route or even the school route, but neither worked for me. I sort of had an idea and was going to go with it until I was hit with something else.

I was in the kitchen and had to go to the bathroom. I decided to head upstairs for a little (ahem) privacy. As I was climbing up the stairs, it happened.

I pooped my pants.

Again.

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You see I haven’t always pooped my pants and I can’t say that it happens OFTEN. I can say that when you hear the obstetrician say to the nurse after labor:

“Can you hand me another spool of thread?”

It’s not going to be a good thing.

At the time you don’t really know what that even means. Two spools. I just thought

“Well, o.k. Dr. do your job and tighten it up good, I gots me a new baby!”

Life goes on, with no sleep, around the clock feedings, and the need to leave the house. It’s during one of these events that you realize maybe she didn’t tighten “it” up enough.

You start to think this at the local Target. I was out for one of my first trips without the newborn. I could not have been happier to know that I had 1 hr. and 43 minutes to myself until the baby needed to be fed again. I was just grabbing for my purse and opening the door when…

Oops, I just pooped my pants.

Well, that’s odd. Must be the hormones or something.

I then did what any other desperate mother who wanted 1 hour and 43minutes to herself.

I grabbed the baby wipes

Stripped

Cleaned

and threw away everything into a plastic bag right there in the parking lot.

So yeah. I was getting my 1 hr. and 23 minutes any way I could.

I threw my pants back on, rolled that shit into a ball, and threw it all out on my way in.

Surely, Target has this effect on others. There was alone shopping time to be had people.

Like I said, this isn’t a common thing with me. I can count on one hand how many times and I can’t even believe I’m admitting this.

Maybe you can relate maybe you can’t. Either way I’m here to say

I sometimes poop my pants……and that’s ok

I love my children and wouldn’t trade them for anything. Even if I DO have to pack two diaper bags to leave the house**

_______________________________________________

**I don’t really. Swear.

And this is the part of the internet that I love the “ME TOO!” part.

Please, please be at least one other who relates.

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Ok…so admit it.  Who here as pooped a little?  Raise of hands?  We won’t tell.  What is admitted in Sluiter Nation, stays in Sluiter Nation.  Maybe.

Ahem.

So you need to go follow Jen on twitter NOW.  (not on twitter?  You should join JUST to follow Jen.  I am not even kidding).

And I know you want to read some of my favorites from her blog, yes?

Ok, you have to know what Storm Meat is.

You should also read her reasons why she sucks at blogging.

And you need to know that her kids say the darndest things.

So there you have it.  Jen is awesome.

Now.  Go follow her on twitter.

Do it.

Oh, and just admit you pooped your pants.  Come on.

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