Today you start Kindergarten.
We have been talking about it for months. You have vacillated between super excitement to absolute tears of nervousness. Choosing a lunch box/bag was all excitement. As was picking new batman, light up, tennis shoes.
But each night for the past week and a half you have held onto me (or daddy) and cried out your anxiety and fears. Your biggest stress is that you are so afraid you will miss me and daddy. You have been going to daycare your whole life from 7:00am to almost 5pm. You are used to being away from us. BUT you have also had Brooke and Evan with you as your buddies since you were two. They even were in your preschool class last year. Now you have to move on to something new without your besties.
I can see where that is scary.
But Eddie, I know you don’t believe me, but you will be amazing in Kindergarten. While your fears break my heart because I can so very much remember feeling anxious like that, you are such a wonderful, smart little boy.
You will easily make friends and get to know your teacher, Mr. F, quickly. You will learn so much this year. You love reading and math and noticing things…you will get to do all those things this year! And more! You will sing songs and do crafts and play outside. You will learn to tie your shoes and say your phone number. You will be reading to ME by the end of the school year!
I want you to know it’s Ok to be scared and nervous. Change can be super scary. I’m changing schools this year too, remember. And I’m a little nervous too! I have taught high school kids, mostly 11th and 12th graders for 12 years! Now I am going to teach 8th grade. That is a little scary. So right now? You and I are both starting new schools and we are both nervous.
And it is OK. Because at 3:45, I will be there at the door to pick you up. And we will have an hour together before daddy and Charlie get home where we can rest or have a snack or just cuddle. Whatever you need.
I could say I can’t believe you’re old enough for school and that time has flown and all that stuff, and it’s true, but the truth is, you are ready. You are not a baby or a toddler anymore. You are a very busy five-year old boy who is in love with learning and playing.
While I’ve been a little wistful (I only teared up once…when they showed that dang video at Kindergarten orientation that said this was your first step toward graduation. Sheesh), I have been mostly just proud.
I love how you hold your head a little higher when you tell people you are going to go to Kindergarten. I love how you look up with me with your proud little smile because you are proud of yourself and you KNOW I am beaming for you too.
You got this, my Eddie Bear. You do.
And I got you. I am here when you need to cry out your fears and anxieties, yes. But I am also here to listen to all the things you have learned and all the fun you have had.
Kindergarten is the start of a whole new part of your life…one you will excel at. One you will CRUSH.
I love you so much, my Eddie.
See you after school.