Being away from each other all day is not new. Since he was three months old, Eddie has been in someone else’s care other than mine.
Yet I miss him more this year than I ever have.
Kindergarten is way tougher on me and him than I thought it would be. Way.
I think about him all day. I pray for him all night. I wring my hands.
This isn’t how I thought it was going to be. I figured he would have an adjustment period. In fact, I knew that even though he was used to be gone all day and used to being busy, it would still be a big change. He would have to make new friends and learn a new routine and get used to a new set of rules and expectations.
But I had all the confidence in the world that he would be just fine. He would thrive. He would struggle with being tired, but he would make friends quickly. He’s a natural leader and so kind to everyone.
I wasn’t wrong about his kindness and ability to make friends.
I wasn’t wrong about being confident.
I didn’t expect the tummy-aches and the worrying from him.
Every day at pick up he tells me he had a great day, and he proceeds to talk my ear off the entire ride home. Every night at bedtime he confesses he doesn’t want to go to school in the morning, and he proceeds to cry out his fears and anxieties.
He is going through the adjustment period that I knew he would. This is all normal stuff. I thought I was prepared.
But I didn’t realize how much it would all hurt my heart.