I know how she sees me.
She is ashamed. She is frustrated. She wishes me gone.
It wasn’t always like this.
I can still remember the first time we met. It was a rainy fall evening, and she had zero intention of bringing anything home that night. She was only there to “check things out”.
She even brought her dad knowing he would slow her spontaneity…and know better what she needs.
I know my color was a turnoff at first. She wanted something less “average”, something that wouldn’t blend in with everyone else.
But after taking me out once, she was sold.
And then so was I.
She had never made such a big decision in such a short time…especially with her dad around. He was the king of “let’s just think about this for awhile first.”
That was eight and a half years ago.
I took her places.
I was reliable. I am reliable.
We celebrated so many joys. Fist pumping together when she got her Masters, her job teaching college, each pregnancy.
I held her when she needed a private place to cry.
I know she thought about ending it with me when she was lost in depression. I saw her eye those trees as we flew down the highway at 80 miles per hour.
I like to think I helped her keep going.
I’ve been with her through a lot. I was with her every time she got pulled over…and only once did it result in a ticket.
I have felt her hand sweat with panic.
I have felt her body shake with grief.
I have heard her voice ring out with joy.
It felt like it would last forever.
But eight and a half years is a long time.
She is growing out of me.
I am showing signs of age that can’t be ignored. I am rusty and slowing down. I can’t be trusted as much anymore.
She needs room to grow and spread out.
She needs something safe.
I have seen her through the part of her life that was about speed and getting things done. Now she is moving on. She is growing her family. She is settling down. She has bigger and more stuff that goes where she goes.
I am not enough anymore.
I know my time is limited. It’s just a matter of time and money before I am left for something bigger and newer.
Sliding out of reverse into drive.
This wheel will turn right, then straight.
Off in the sunset she’ll ride
She can remember a time, denied.
Stood by the side of the road
Spilled like wine now
She’s out on her own and line high.*
This week’s prompt was to personify an object that has “bore witness” to your life.
“Personification” is the act of giving human traits to something non-human.
*Lyrics from “MFC” by Pearl Jam