the potty monologues

I really didn’t expect to be blogging about potty training any time soon.

In fact, I have been completely ignoring the fact that my child will have to be potty trained at all.  I just keep telling myself, “he is two.  I’ll worry about it when he is three.”

Little did I know he would take matters into his own hands.

Well, sort of.

Cort and I have discussed this thing called “Potty Training”.   We often talk about pee and poop with Eddie.  He knows mommy and daddy do it in the “potty” and that we wipe and flush and all that.  He knows he does it in his diaper, but that eventually he will do it in the potty too.

About 8 months ago he showed some interest in sitting on the big potty and flushing, so we got him his own potty chair.

We didn’t try to train at all, we just let the potty chair sit in the bathroom.  Eddie knows what it is for and likes to sit on it with all his clothes on when we are on the can.

He also likes to sit on it before and after bath with no clothes on.

Only once has he actually put about two drops of pee in the potty.  And that was after grunting and trying because he wanted to be “like mommy.”

Ok then.

We never pushed.  We just encouraged him to sit on it or ask to sit on it when he wants to.

Recently he started needing “privacy” when he did his number two’s.  So we started enforcing privacy when Cort and I do our number two’s also.  He seems to “get it”.

We have been totally following his lead on this.

In fact, each incident seems to be completely at random since we are never really occupied with getting him “trained”.

That is why Tuesday night was such a huge deal.

It seemed to be a regular Tuesday night.  We had dinner, Cort put Eddie in the bath, I was busy grading papers.

You know we have dealt with aqua dumps, right?  So it is often repeated that “we do not poop in the tub.”

Before Eddie got in the tub, he was complaining that his “buns hurt.” So we kept asking him if he had to poop.  He said no, whipped off his diaper, and went running for the tub.

Ok then.

The regular hair washing and what not went on and then Eddie was allowed to play.  Since the child feels the need to narrate EVERYTHING he is doing, we can pretty much let him play and sit around the corner to watch the news.

So that is what Cort did.  And then we heard, “A poop tub”.

Wait. What?

Cort and I just looked at each other.  We heard it again, “Daddy…a poop.  tub.”

Cort took a deep breath, got up, and muttered, “well this can’t be good,” and walks around the corner.  This is what I heard:

Cort: What buddy?  Did you poop in the tub?

Eddie: No.  Yeah.  No. Poop.

Cort:  There’s no poop in the tub.  Do you have to go poop?

Eddie:  Yeah.  No poop in tub.  Poop.

Cort:  Did you want to get out and sit on the potty?

Eddie:  Yeah. Poop inna potty.

Cort:  Ok, then.  Come on bud.

And then I heard some shuffling and some water dripping and then…

Cort:  Are you cold?  Here, put this towel around you.

Eddie:  Go way.

Cort:  You want me to leave?  Ok.  But STAY ON THE POTTY.  Tell me if you think you need to get up.

Eddie: Ok. Go way.

So Cort walks out and looks at me.  I look back silently, raising my eyebrows.  He shrugs.

Then pee happens.  IN THE POTTY!

We are all celebratory and cheering.

But Eddie insists he has to poop.  So he keeps sitting, all the while announcing, “I PEE IN POTTY, DADDY.  I PEE IN POTTY MOMMY!” from spot in the bathroom.

Cort is giggling about the fact that our son is completely nude, sitting on a plastic potty, draped in a hooded towel.  He insists I take a picture…or at least peek at it.

And even though I feel that I have met my quota of embarrassing pictures of my oldest on the potty, I can’t help but grab the camera.  As I am about to snap a picture, I hear a loud, juicy noise come from the bathroom.

I look at Cort to see if he heard it.

He did.  (He didn’t have to say anything.  The look of shock followed by uncontrollable giggles gave it away).

“Eddie, did you just poop?” I ask as I quickly snap a picture.

“Yeah, I POOP!”  He smiles.

I cheer him on, as Cort comes in to discuss the “doneness” of this poop.  There is wiping and congratulations and then Eddie asks to get back in the tub.

Cort and I promise him a treat when he gets out.

After bath, as he is eating his m&ms (which he thanks me for three times…with hugs), we talk about getting m&ms whenever he does the pee and poo and how if he can do that a lot, I will take him to pick out his own underwear.

He is excited.

So excited that it is what he talks about with me as we rock to sleep that night.

And what he announces to me in the morning before I go to work.

And what he tells everyone at daycare about.

Of course he hasn’t done it since.

But we aren’t pushing.

He’ll do it again when he is ready.

He’s only two after all.

what “awkward” means

Eddie has been showing the signs.

I tried to ignore that he was doing it.  I am not ready, so he can’t be ready, right?  I mean, he’s not even two yet.

But he just keeps doing it.

First it was patting the front of his diaper every time he had gone potty.

Then it was announcing his poops.

And then it was pointing to the toilet before bath and saying, “poop”.

And then it was holding his pee through his whole bath and crying when he peed on the floor and asking for a diaper because he also had to poop.

So we did it.  We bought a potty seat.

look what mom and dad got me!

(Now, to be fair, the only time it was ever not “living” in the bathroom was while I taking these pictures.  We aren’t animals or anything. I mean…yet.)

Eddie loves this thing.

Sitting on it is fun.  Clothing optional, but since this is a family blog, we went clothes on for the pictures.

He sits on it every chance he gets.

If the bathroom door is left open without the gate up?  He is sitting on his potty chair.

If he is sitting on his?  He tries to insist you sit on the big one.  Apparently he likes a Pee Partner.

And then there is the wiping.

Oh, his obsession with wiping.

One of the first times he “tried” his potty chair by sitting on it (with clothes on), he asked me for some toilet paper.  Then he proceeded to aggressively wipe his crotch.  It’s was as funny as it sounds because he was quite serious about it.

Earlier this week he grabbed Cort’s bath towel and aggressively started wiping.  Cort wasn’t as amused as I was and seemed a little peeved that I was rolling around on the floor laughing rather than grabbing his towel away.

Some people just don’t get funny.

And then yesterday happened.

I am not really used to no privacy when I use the bathroom.  When I am at work?  No one else comes in the stall.  When I am home?  Cort is usually home, so this whole toddler standing there while I do my number two?   New to me.

Yesterday while using the bathroom, I was trying to tell Eddie that mommy  needed “privacy” and that perhaps  the mostly closed door should be a clue.

As I am talking, I go to wipe.

And then it happened.

Eddie tried to get back there and HELP.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So then we discussed what “awkward” means.

Sigh.

momma? amm poop. amm poop.

Lamby has been the victim guinea pig for Eddie’s potty chair as of late.  complete with wiping.  poor Lamby.

At least he “gets it” right?  I mean, he knows what the toilet and the potty seat are for, he knows wiping needs to take place, and he knows about poop.

I don’t think he is ready to put it all together for himself yet though.

this is not the intended use of the fisherprice potty chair

and I’m ok with this.  I mean, he’s not even two yet.  Plenty of time to forget about it and then worry about it, right?

What do you have to tell me about potty training?  It scares me.

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