That’s right. I’m a judgey judgerson.
Don’t be all nervous. I am not judging you. right now. Chances are I did though. When I first met you or read your blog or emailed with you or read a comment you left.
Some people call it “first impressions”. That is just a nice way of saying “judged”.
I think we all do it, am I wrong?
I mean, I fairly certain my brain is hardwired to make a judgment the first time I “meet” someone. Isn’t everyone’s?
We all know how I judged every person in the Olive Garden a couple weeks ago. And as many of you said in the comments, it’s all about making first impressions.
I started thinking about that, and I realized that I judge everyone and everything…at least once. And I have been beating myself up over it.
For example, this morning I went to Shoe Carnival to get myself some cute black shoes to go with the outfit I want to wear tonight to Cort’s cousin’s wedding. I judged everyone in there on what they were wearing.
I immediately put it out of my head (because I am not a total jerk), but for a split second, my mind took in what they had on, what kind of shoe they were looking at, and even how their kids were acting.
Admittedly, the woman with the tatrumy toddler? I gave her the “oh honey…you are so brave” look. But my FIRST thought? “Ugg…screaming kid” because I had just left one of those at home.
And I know people were judging me too.
I have a zit colony the size of DC on my
jowl chin and I hadn’t done my hair except for a messy bun. I was wearing an old hoodie (in an attempt to be bulky enough in the collar to cover up my zit colony) and blow out boots (yes, I bought new boots).
If I saw me? My first thought probably would have been, “it’s Saturday, not Slopperday” and then I would have immediately dismissed it.
But I left the house that way anyway. Because hopefully, people are like me, they judge and dismiss…unless given a reason not to.
I know people who are all like, “I totally withhold ALL judgment until I get to know a person,” and I have to call BS on that. How can you not make SOME sort of immediate judgment when you first encounter someone either in person or in the blog world?
We size up what someone is wearing.
We hear the way they talk…the words they choose.
We see people’s writing.
We know what they choose to share.
I think because I know I do this, I am assuming everyone else does too. That is probably why it is a very rare thing for me to be caught shopping in my pajamas. Yoga pants and sweat shirt, sure, but not my jammies and slippers.
I am also conscious of it on my blog.
Sure I write for me. But to say I ONLY write for me is a total lie. I write for you too. I like you. I like what you have to say. So I think about YOU when I write.
And I always think, “what if this is the first post a new reader sees?”
Because I know blogging is a fickle place. If I visit a blog for the first time and I am overwhelmed with ads or widgets in the side bars or music is blasted at me or if the content is hard to read or if the content is boring…I am probably not coming back.
And I know you are that way too.
And you do too.
It’s how we know we like someone or don’t.
It’s how we decide to follow a blog or not.
It’s the reason first impressions are important. Because
I the world is judging.
Now pardon me…I have a zit colony to expunge.
Revised to Say….
I don’t mean to sound like all judging results in negative decisions. We judge things based on what we see/read/hear, but then we make decisions based on those judgments. Not everyone that I “judge” is deemed a bad person/mom. Most of the time it’s just the opposite. In fact, unless you prove you’re not wonderful, I judge that you probably are!