it all

“Honestly, I have no idea how you do it all.”

I get emails and tweets with this exclamation at least once a day.

But what is “it all”?

Is it that I get up for work at 5:30am and leave my family until 4:30 every day?

Is it that I make dinner and have family time from 5:00 until 8:00?

Is it that I ignore all my housework, all my blogging, all the books I want to read, all the connections I have made online over the past year?

Is it that I go to bed by 9:00 every night just so I have enough energy to do it all over again the next day?

Or is it that I squeak out a blog post for Sluiter Nation {hopefully} three-four times a week (and one of those is a Recruit post, so I just have to schedule that).

I used to read over 40 blogs a day and comment on almost all of them.  But since August, I haven’t been able to look at my computer screen for longer than 10 or so minutes without getting a headache.  Even since the first trimester blahs have subsided, I spend most of my time working rather than reading.

I used to regularly post on my book blog, Katie’s Bookcase.  But lately I have ignored reading because my eyes and brain are just too tired at the end of the day.

I used to post weekly on my memoir-ish blog, Exploded Moments.  But since this pregnancy and now being back to work, I can’t muster up the memories clearly enough to bring them to my readers.

I used to be an Editor at Write on Edge (formerly The Red Dress Club).  But I needed to reduce my responsibilities, so I accepted the position of Assistant Editor hoping to be able to stay part of this wonderful project that I love so much.

Just last night I had to relinquish myself from that position as well.

Sending the email to the women who have become like sisters to me was incredibly painful.

I was told that my “down” feeling after BlogHer was normal.  It’s what many, many bloggers feel.  After being “on” for four days and being overloaded with tons of ideas and bombarded with brands and companies…it was natural that I would have a low.  And that it would pass.

And it has.  Sort of.

But one part of that “low” stuck with me.

It was just all too much.

I am not a “professional” blogger.

I don’t write for bloggers.  I write for people.

That is what I started this blog for…my friends and family.

After four years of writing here, it took flying across the country to help me remember that.

Yes, I have made TONS of blogging friends.

And I see them as FRIENDS.  PEOPLE who read my blog.

I don’t want to do posts that leave non-bloggers out.

I don’t want to compete for the attention of brands.  That doesn’t mean I will NEVER do another review or giveaway, but they will probably be few and far between.

I can’t keep up with four blogs and the social media that goes with it all.

I just can’t do “it all”.

And I don’t want to.

So I won’t.