Oh Twoodles!

Dear Alice,

Ten years ago I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. Daddy and I were very upset because we weren’t trying to get pregnant. I had another year of grad school before we even wanted to think about having kids. But there we were.

As you know already, we lost that pregnancy. But before the loss and after the acceptance that I was going to be a mom, I imagined a baby girl. This is significant because up until then I saw myself as having zero kids or only having boys, but I felt a very strong feeling that there was a girl growing in my belly. Not long after my 30th birthday we found out that the pregnancy had shut down. No baby.

It would be eight years–and four more pregnancies–before a baby girl would show up in our lives.

I was convinced after Eddie and Charlie were born, that I was a boy mom through and through. I was convinced when we found out we were pregnant with you, that you were a boy. I was sure.

I was wrong.

 

I’m so glad I was wrong.

I didn’t know, Alice. I just didn’t know how very VERY much we–I–needed you. You bring such joy and sunshine and happiness to our life–to our family!

So what are you like as a two-year old?

Over this past year you learned to walk, run, and dance. You love to twirl–especially in a skirt, dress, or tutu. And you love SHOES and accessories! You call all jewelry and hair things “pretties” and you love to load them on. This weekend I painted your toenails pink and you refused the footie jammies because you couldn’t admire your toes in those. If I brush my hair, you want to brush your hair. When I put on makeup, you want to pretend to put on lipstick or blush. When I put on bracelets or a necklace, you dash to your room for one of yours. I don’t consider myself the most girly girl, but the way you shadow my actions, I see myself differently in you.

You love to sing! Every night daddy or I sing while we rock you. You have three songs you rotate through with me: Row Row (Row, Row, Row Your Boat), Sunshine (You Are My Sunshine), and Rock A Baby (Rock’a’bye The Baby). You have started singing along with us–and I even noticed you singing Row Row the other day while you were twirling in the kitchen.

You love your blankie more than any other lovie, although you love to sleep with an army of “friends.” Usually you will pair Blankie with another friend–this week it’s a Popple, last week it was Puppy–when you leave your bed. And you love books…which you know makes my heart happy. I hope you always have a love for the written word.

Babies and tea sets are still your favorite toys and your Grandma and Granny love to spoil you with lots of babies and baby accessories. Charlie and Eddie also give in and play with you because you’re so cute that it’s quite persuasive. No one can pass up a purple tea cup being handed to them by an eager two year old! Your brothers love you to the moon. Charlie is always there to play with you, and Eddie helps you with your shoes and coat. I hope they are always your go-to for when you need someone to lean on.

You may be my shadow, but you are a Daddy’s Girl through and through. When daddy picks you up from day care you are quite possessive claiming him as “mine daddy” to all who will listen. Your face lights up when you hear him come home, and if he is gone (or just in the bathroom) you will wander around with your hands out asking, “where my daddy go?” And can I tell you a secret, Alice? He adores you too. He melts when you run to him for a hug. He lives for your voice saying, “mine daddy!” I am quite sure he had no idea how much he needed a little girl either until you showed up and took our hearts captive.

Alice, your smile and giggle make everyone happy. Even though you start shy and are slow to warm up to people, your sheer joy brings light to all those around you. Your brothers were good cuddlers, but you are my hugger. You will declare “HUG! KEESES! (kisses)” before bed or before I leave for work and you will throw your whole self into squeezing my neck. You get that from your Daddy’s side of the family, you know. Sluiters and Potters are mega-huggers.

I was afraid that making it official that you were the last would somehow leave me with a feeling of sadness…a feeling of wishing for something more…a not “fullness.” But I never once felt incomplete.

In fact, now that you are here, I have never felt more intact. You complete this family in a way I just couldn’t imagine. I see your brothers differently now through the lens of a complete family–your existence makes me appreciate Eddie’s helpful nature and Charlie’s protective personality more than ever before because now I can see our whole family. There are no pieces missing.

You are our caboose–our Little Sister.

Time has never flown by so fast as it has since we have brought you three kids into this world. As you ripped open your gifts and blew out your candles all on your own tonight, I was reminded that you are not a baby anymore. You are a toddler who is absorbing everything and learning to be you.

Being a mother has been the greatest responsibility that I have ever taken on. The past two years have felt even more powerful because to raise a daughter is such an undertaking. There are a million ways to fail, but I think we can get it right, Alice.

So far, so good, my sweet love.

Love,
Mommy

One Year Down, A Lifetime To Go

Dear Alice,

I started writing this the night before your first birthday, but I kept deleting everything. Nothing I seemed to type here seemed like the right thing–the right way that I wanted to tell you about this first year of yours.

It was perfect.

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Eddie’s first year was difficult, and looking back at what I wrote to him, I can see it between the lines. I didn’t come right out and say it, but that first year was hard and in lots of ways just sucked. It was the postpartum depression, not Eddie, of course, but man. That first First Year was tough.

Charlie’s first year was emotional. He taught me I could be a good mom, even with postpartum depression. He healed me in a lot of ways, which is what I told him in his first year letter. I remember being very sad when he turned one. The second First Year was better.

Your first year has been free of postpartum depression, and WOW, what a huge difference that makes. I not only enjoyed you, but I enjoyed being your mom.

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Alice, I was a whole mother for your first year. I was here. I was present.

I often wonder how long babies remember their baby-ness. Do you still remember being born? Do you remember being a part of me? Do you remember how our hospital stay was downright relaxing? While I missed your daddy being there in the evenings, there was something nice about us being alone after 7pm. We had our dinner and watched some TV together. We chatted–girl talk.

Each night around 9pm, the nurse would bring me my evening snack and some hot water so I could have some tea. I had you out of your little baby aquarium cart thing more than I ever did with the boys. I had you out and unwrapped on the bed, counting your little piggy toes and smootching your little hands.

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Once we came home, Daddy noticed immediately that I was different than I was with your brothers. I asked for help easier, but I was also eager to feed your and hold you and do “mom things”. In fact, I didn’t whine or complain about middle of the night feedings. I may even dare to admit that I liked them. You were a good little eater and sleeper–really you still are.

And what a cuddler! From Day One you were right at home in pretty much anyone’s arms! You have your favorites, of course. Daddy would say you are a Momma’s Girl through and through, but you perk right up when Daddy is around. You love Renae and Carolyn and of course your Church Oma, Nancy.

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Today was your one-year well child appointment. You remain our tiniest child being only in the 85th percentile (Charlie was always closer to 90th percentile and Eddie was almost always near the 100th) at twenty-two and a half pounds.

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Like Charlie, you are very content to play on your own. However unlike both of your brothers, you play with toys the way they are designed to be played with rather than just throw or pound them. Putting things in things is your current favorite, so the purses you got for your birthday were great gifts for you!

You’re not walking yet, but you are a cruising machine! You can zoom around the furniture and around me and Daddy–boy do you like to crawl all over us like we are playground equipment!

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Speaking of climbing on us, you love to touch us. You reach for us, you hug, you give kisses, and you clutch our shirts and pants in your little hands. Your brothers never did this. You sit on our laps in church and prefer to be touching us somehow at home.

You don’t have any “real” words yet, but you repeat “Da da da da” over and over when Daddy is around and “Ma ma ma ma” for me–again, the boys didn’t call me anything this early. You clearly know your “Da da” and “Ma ma”. When you see your brothers you repeat “Dee dee dee” which I think is because Eddie and Charlie both end in the “eee” sound.  Your laugh and squeals are breathy and adorable.

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Having a daughter is like nothing I ever thought it would be. If I am laying it all out here, I have to admit that I was hoping you would be another boy. I felt confident and comfortable with boy children. A daughter scared me. People told me I would love it. They said it was just “different”.

They were totally right; it’s different. And I have tried and tried to find the words to describe that difference, but I can’t. I will say it’s wonderful.

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Your giggle, your scrunchy nose, the way your suck on your tongue and lips when you see someone eating cake because you want some too…it’s all just so wonderful.

It’s hard to say how lovely having a little girl is without it sounding like it’s not equally awesome to have your brothers. As the cliche goes, it’s apples and oranges; they are both outstanding fruits. I was living with a bunch of apples. Wonderfully juicy, sweet glorious apples.

And then I was given my first orange, and I was hooked.

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Oh Alice, you have changed me. If Eddie made me a mom–and a fighter, and Charlie healed my broken parts, you changed me.

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You help me see that every single day has something happy about it. I smile every day because of you. I smile because of a million other reasons too, but you, baby girl. YOU. Your hugs and happiness it just…it’s YOU.

YOU, Alice.

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I admit I cried on your birthday. Not until after you were in bed. I really, really enjoyed your day. And more so, I enjoyed your first year. The tears were bittersweet. They were happiness mixed with just a touch of sadness that the baby days are over. But truly, they were mostly happy.

I am so happy you are ours.

I am so happy that you are on the verge of walking.

I am so happy to see you every morning and that you come home from daycare to me every day.

I am so happy that your brothers love you so.

I am so happy that you have eyes for your Daddy.

I am so happy you and I are “mother/daughter”.

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Alice, your first year has been one of the best years of my whole life. You have completed this family in more ways than just being the last baby. We are whole because of you.

Thank you, my dear daughter.

Thank you for being ours.

Thank you for being you.

I love you so, SO very much.

I can’t wait for the rest of your life.

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Love,
Ma Ma

Did I Hear a “Niner”?

Dear Alice,

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Some in church this morning said, “Good morning, Alice! Wow! You are growing so fast!” That is totally the theme of every baby’s first year of life. Every baby in the world grew up quickly in their first year, but it always surprises us. This month you have hit a bunch of milestones.

First, you are crawling! Last month you were just starting to army crawl around. Most of the time you would roll and pull yourself until you got what you wanted, now you are taking trips around the house in a full-on crawl. It’s a good thing daddy put the gate up by the steps a few weeks ago! You already crawl over and peek down when a brother disappears down the steps.

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You are pulling up to your knees on things too! Mostly on me or daddy, but you love the pull up by the couch or ottoman too. It’s funny because once your brothers learned to crawl and pull up we were constantly saying “no, no!” and chasing them around because they would get into all the things. I am sure that is coming with you, but for now you crawl to what you want and then sit and play

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It’s really getting hard to get a non-blurry picture of you! Plus you love to “talk” and make yelling noises–or singing noises.  And you laugh at EVERYTHING. If Charlie is crying, you laugh. If Eddie looks at you, you laugh. If we make a pretend chuckle at you, you start cracking up. Everything is funny and worth a grin and a guffaw. You are just so so sweet.

You get mad only when you are tired, poopy, or hungry. The rest of the time it’s smiles for days. Grandma and Grandpa say you look just like me. I think you look like your brothers, but they swear by it. And I guess they would know…they knew me when I was your size.

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You now have four teeth on the bottom and four on top. You love to eat, but are not very quick about it. Not like your brothers. You like to self-feed, but you’ll eat baby food if we give it to you.  You gagged on avocado and bananas, so I guess we will hold off on giving you “real” food for a bit longer and stick with melt-away crackers and such.

We don’t carry you around in the infant carrier anymore. You still use it for a carseat because you comfortably fit in it and it’s rear-facing, but we usually leave it in the car and you ride around on our hip.

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Most of the time my view of you is this. Reaching for things and crawling over obstacles.  You are just the sweetest, snuggliest, funny little honey pants ever. Daddy often looks at us together and grins and says, “my two girls.” We are quite the pair, my little girl.

Oh, I would be remiss to not mention here that in the past month you have started a new habit: Floor Sleeping. Almost every night between your 7pm bottle and your last bottle of the night (which maybe we are about done with?), you play yourself to sleep on the floor. I have started taking your picture almost every time and it’s been keeping my friends on Instagram and Facebook so happy. Because you are adorable.

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I can honestly say I miss the days of tiny baby, but not enough to have another one. I can also honestly say that I love you more and more each day. I look forward to seeing you first thing in the morning, after work, and snuggling you at night.

The way your face lights up when you see any of us, really, is just beautiful. You love your daddy and brothers and momma. You are our shining little light always.

I’m proud of you that you hold your own bottle, but I love that you let me hold you while you do it.  I love that you can fall asleep on your own, but let me snuggle you while you do it. I hope this is always true, my Alice: that you can do things on your own, but allow me to be a part of your life.

I know I say it each month, but I truly had no idea how much I wanted…and needed…a daughter. I didn’t think having a girl was a big deal…or at least that much different than a boy, but I was as wrong as wrong can be. I am so glad you are here. I am so glad you are part of our family.

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You are so loved, my little one.

Love,

Momma

Eight is Great!

Dear Alice Beans,

Or Beansy, or Beanzer, or Beezy….you have lots of little nicknames–mostly because of your daddy. He likes to call you Beezy best lately.

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At bedtime one night this past week, I read a book to your brothers called “How a Daddy Says I Love You” and one of the ways was by making up silly names for you. The boys started listing all the silly names your daddy calls all three of you. There were so many! They decided that daddy  must love you all a LOT to make up so many, and they are right! He loves you all to the MOON.

Speaking of daddy, I will tell you a secret, sweet Alice, you have your daddy wrapped around your finger. One smile from you and he can’t help but hug and kiss you and promise you the world. I’ve even heard him say, “what’s that? you want a pony? Ok!”

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This past month you’ve made some pretty big growing up jumps, little lady! Not only are you a sitter, you are starting to MOVE. You haven’t figured out crawling yet, but you recently found that rolling can get you places. As can scooting backward. In fact, Thursday night I set you next to the couch, and when I turned around you had traveled all the way to the kitchen table!

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You have also gotten two more teeth! One on the bottom (for a total of 4 down there), and one is just starting to poke through the top too! While you still prefer the bottle to get your nourishment, we have been feeding you baby food too. Although last month, you would eat it pretty well, this month you have gotten ridiculously picky. You purse your little lips and look at us like “nope”. Well, except for squash. You devour that.

I’ve been cutting up your fruits to let you feed yourself. You like that with the bananas, but you get mad at the peaches and pears since they are slippery. Crackers are your best friends, which is not surprising since your mother is also a carb-lover.

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You’ve also been sleeping a LOT lately, which makes us believe you are getting ready to learn to do new things like crawling.  Eek! The best part of this, though, is that you have made it a nightly ritual to fall asleep while playing on the floor. It’s usually while one of us is putting your brothers to bed. Then you wake up and want a bottle around 10pm. Then you zonk out in our arms, which means we can put you in your crib and not hear from you again until morning.

I’ve started posting these every night on Instagram. It’s so dang cute!

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You also nap like a dream. Just today I was cuddling you and noticed that you were putting things by your nose. That is one of your sleepy cues, so I just laid you in your crib. You smiled and kicked, but I was able to walk away. That was over an hour ago and you have not made a peep!

Alice you are SO MUCH FUN at this age!

Your giggles boarder on ridiculous–they are very deep and man-like. You also get stars in your eyes when your brothers play with you. As far as you are concerned, they hung the moon and set the world to spinning.

Your tiny life is just so happy right now, and that makes me happy. Your little face makes my day wonderful, even when it’s really been sort of terrible. You are my sunshine, my dear daughter.

I love you so much,

Momma

8months

Magnificently Seven Months

Dear Alice,

I think every month I tell you how much I love the age you are, and your seventh month is no different. Look how happy you are!

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Let’s look at your stats:

You are sitting up like a boss!  Just before Trisha took your picture this past month, you decided to figure out sitting. You are about a month behind your brothers, but that is Ok. My favorite thing is how little you care when you tip over. Your brothers cried or whined when they went booty over apple cart; you just smile even bigger. Like it was fun to tip sideways, backwards, or forward. You wiggle until you are on your tummy and just play that way.

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You are eating food!  Well, baby food. Ok, you like pears. You make faces with apples and bananas, as well as with puffs and those mum mum things. However, you find puffs–and how they stick to your hands–amusing. I think you are ready to try some veggies, but I am sure you will make faces at those too.

We have quit keeping track of when your bottle feedings are, and packed up the perpetual “feeding schedule” that we kept on the island listing when your last bottle was and how much you ate. Now we just know: you have three 6-oz bottles at Renae’s house during the day and two at home before bed.

I took a glimpse back through the notepad before tucking it away in your memory box. That pad of paper had all your feedings since the day you came home from the hospital. The first few pages also had a little column along the side where daddy kept track of which pain meds I took and what time.

That time seems so long ago now. Much longer than mere months–seems like a totally different life. And it sort of was.

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Ever since those first days, you have been a great sleeper. That trend has continued for sure. Renae says that you sometimes doze a bit in the morning, but usually take a nice big 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. You’re usually passed out by 10:30 at night for us and sleep until we wake you at 6:30am.  It doesn’t matter where we put you in your crib, you always wiggle your way to the one corner–daddy even found you asleep with your head propped up against the slats in that corner one weekend morning! You will fall asleep however, but you always roll to your tummy–just like your brothers always did.

Occasionally you will wake in the night in need of your pacifier and a butt pat, or sometimes a little teething gel. You have three bottom teeth now and they are ADORABLE when you grin.

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While you’re not crawling yet, you are definitely a little mover! When you are on your tummy, you can push yourself waaaay up so you can look around. You can also scoot yourself in a circle and back and forth by launching off your knees, which you can now scrunch up under you. Daddy is concerned that soon we will have to put the baby gate back up by the steps. We waited too long with Charlie and he rolled right down them. Oops!

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Alice, you are the happiest little baby. You love people so much. I still have you sit with us in church rather than put you in the nursery because you are just so good. You sit by either daddy or me and play with a toy or your feet. Sometimes you look at the people behind us and smile, then hide in my shoulder. You make everyone around you smile because you are such a little sunshine.

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When you are displeased with something, you don’t just cry, you make a little huffy whining noise. Sometimes we can change it into a giggle if we pay you attention right away, but if we ignore it, it turns into shouts of anger. It’s sort of a diva move, but since you only do it when you’re tired, hungry, or poopy, I’ll let it go. I mean, I get crabby when I am tired and hungry, and I am sure if I had to sit in my own poop I wouldn’t love it too much.

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Your current favorite things are a mini sofie giraffe teether, making LOUD noises like ZAH ZAH ZAH and DA DA DA, giggling at your brothers, shaking your head “no”, and eating your feet.

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Daddy has been working so hard to get you to crawl. I don’t know why. For one, non-mobile babies are SO MUCH EASIER. And two, once you start, it’s not like we can go back. That will be it. No more stationary baby. We will be done with that phase.

That’s the weird part of parenting. I can see why daddy is excited; you can get on all fours, you just can’t lift your head from that position. So you are on the verge of learning something new. That has always been such an exhilarating part of parenting–having the privilege of being front row for your child’s learning.

On the other hand, I just want to keep you little. I don’t want to rush you to the next thing because once you’re there, that is it. We are done. No more babies will follow with first rolling and first head lifts and  first crawling. You are the caboose of the Sluiter Nation Train.

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In many ways, Alice, you are my easiest baby. You are content 98% of the time whether chilling with your brothers, sitting alone on your play mat, or hanging out on someone’s lap. You weren’t colicky like Eddie, and you don’t have “stranger danger” like Charlie did.

But there is something more difficult about you too. It’s more subtle and hard to name; I think it has to do with fear. My own fear that the smiles and cuddles that are just for me will fade. That you won’t possibly love me this much ever again. That you, too, will join the chorus of “YOU’RE MEAN” and “I DON’T LIKE YOU” that your brothers have begun when they don’t get their way.

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Right now, you like me always, and I just want to keep it that way for as long as I can. It’s like a calm, happy in the middle of a storm of crazy some days.

You are my joy, my dear Alice.

I love you,

Momma

ps. All outdoor, professional photos were taking by Trisha of TMV Photography. We love her to the moon, Alice. She has a heart of gold and is one of the best friends I could ask for. Find friends like her, and you will always have joy in your life.

Quarter

Dear Alice,

A quarter of a year has gone by since you arrived. In the grand scheme of our lives that is a blip. But it feels huge. It feels like forever and hardly any time at all.

3months

 

You’ve gone through a big old growth spurt. By my rough measures (aka weighing myself without you and then with you, and busting out the tape measure while you’re sleeping), you weigh around 16 pounds and are about 22.5 inches long. Seriously. You have put on more than four pounds in the last month, but you’re not tons longer, although I can tell in some of your jammies that you’re getting ready to bump up to 6 month size. Just like your brothers before you, your jammies were the first we had to go up a size in. I guess we make ’em tall!

Your legs and arms and face are all chubbing up in the cutest way possible. You eat an average of 25-30 ounces a day and take two biggish naps (one right away in the morning after your first bottle that lasts about an hour or so, and another that is longer in the afternoon) and you sleep anywhere from 7-9 hours at night. You did not read that wrong. Once you went NINE hours in between bottles. Daddy and I got nervous.

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You figured out your hands! Well, sort of. You know they are there, part of your body. You know that you are the one who moves them, but you are still working on getting them to go where you want, although you’ve got the move to get them straight in your mouth down pat!

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You seem to favor toys with a face. There is a caterpillar (daddy says it’s a bug) that jingles when I shake it. You LOVE that thing. You get your concentration face on–which incidentally is the exact same as both of your brothers and your daddy–and you smile at it and try to reach for it.

Speaking of toys you love, none of our kids have ever developed a lovie love as early as you have with your bunny. I don’t blame you; bunny is so very soft and cuddly. It was a gift from a wonderful blogger friend, and I put it in your Rock n Play with you from the minute it arrived on our doorstep.  Now, when you know it’s near you, you wrap your arms around it and pull it close to your face. Most times you fall asleep immediately. If you’re not tired, you suck on bunny’s ear. That’s gross, Alice.

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Your personality is coming through more and more each day.

As I type this you are on your daddy’s chest, tucked under his chin. You will not sleep on me like this. You need to be on your back or side when you’re with me, but on your daddy, you will snooze on your tummy all day long. But you are pretty indiscriminate about who holds you, as long as you are being held or talked to. Ignoring you is not an option. In this way, you remind me a lot of Eddie at this age.

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Eddie was a smiley baby, but you have him beat by a million, but like Charlie, you will not crack a smile for the camera (Charlie actually didn’t smile for anyone other than a little smirk now and then). Your smile is HUGE and so very sweet. Even your eyes twinkle.

When you get upset you go from fine to full-blown anger ball in about 1/10th of a second. And giant tears stream down your face. If your brothers ever produced tears at this age, it was just from their eyes watering. You have legit crocodile tears.

The conversations we have are amazing. You respond with your whole face and body AND your voice. You blow raspberries and gurgle and screech with joy! You also get shouty and perturbed. All of us have been praised for our plethora of facial expressions and it looks like you’re going to follow suit.

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Oh Alice. You are the best.

Somehow, sweet girl, you make me happy and smile when I don’t think it’s possible. I simply cannot be in a bad mood when I am with you. Sometimes I love you so much I just want to hug you and squeeze you, but I also don’t want to burst you, so I hold back.

I kiss your little cheeks a million times a day and could nap for hours with my nose on the top of your sweet-smelling head.

you are my buddy and a blur of movement!

you are my buddy and a blur of movement!

When I was pregnant with Charlie, I didn’t understand how in the world I could love another like I loved Eddie. Now that all three of you are here, I wonder if my heart will burst with all the love I have for you three.

People like to joke that Daddy and I are consistent in our cute kid factory over here; you all definitely look like siblings. But the real fun is seeing each of you grow into your personalities and talents. Alice, you have similarities to both of your brothers and to me and to Daddy, but at the same time you are developing your very own quirks and traits.

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I once thought that by the third child, the fun of a baby would have worn off a bit. I knew what developments were coming, and I was sure some of the amazement at watching them would be gone. I was so very wrong. Watching you reach for a toy for the first time was just as exhilarating and miraculous as it was with Charlie and with Eddie.

And being your mom is no less extraordinary and beautiful.

Here’s to a quarter of a year and to many, many full years to come.

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I love you, my Allie Beans.

Mommy

One Month

Dear Alice,

Oh sweet girl, we made it through the first month of your life. Can you believe it? Nope. We can’t either.

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It’s been a whirlwind of activity. It’s definitely true that by your third child, things just move quicker and there is no time for blinking or you’ll miss something.

Our first week was pretty laid back–you slept or ate or pooped.  That was really it. So I slept a lot too since part of the time we were in the hospital and part we were home with daddy. You and I spent about 10 days just recuperating from your moving day from womb to outside world.

Then it got real, as they say.

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At your appointment five days after birth, you had already gained back to your birth weight (you left the hospital a dainty 7lbs 10oz) plus a couple ounces. By your two week appointment you were rocking over nine and a half pounds. Still our tiniest baby, even at a month, you are still in newborn size for jammies and some pants. You’ve pretty much grown too long for newborn onsies, though and are graduating to 3-month size.

You are eating like a champ; already averaging almost 4 oz per feeding. Daddy just bumped you to the #2 nipples so you would stop falling asleep after an ounce in the middle of the night.  He likes to go back to bed, you know.

So I have already packed some things away as DONE: newborn onsies and #1 nipples. The door has closed on those things.

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Your sleeping/eating patterns are starting to become, well, patterns.  Your last feeding for each night is between 10pm and 11:30pm and then you will go about four hours, but that seems to be increasing too. Then you sleep for about three hours before your first morning feeding. I can usually get one or two good “naps” out of you where you sleep by yourself in your bed. The rest of the time you prefer to snooze on me.

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Which brings me to your sleep preferences. You took a turn that made me give you side-eye, my dear. For about a week and a half you suddenly would ONLY sleep on me or daddy. That gave me a nervous twitch because Eddie did that for about a YEAR or more. It was awful.

Daddy thought maybe you got cold in the night and we were also reminded that Charlie always liked to be tightly swaddled, so we busted out a fleece baby wrap and tried it out. It was, as they say, a GAME CHANGER.  You are now a lovely sleeper…in your own bed.

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In your first month you have also had your baptism and celebrated both Charlie and my birthdays. You’ve already been to daycare for a few hours while I took Eddie to a movie this week. You also celebrated your first Easter. Well, you didn’t do a lot of celebrating; you really just were there. But it sure was fun to dress you up in a pretty dress.

Ok, enough stat talk.

Alice, my love, you have changed my life.

Before you, my life revolved around raising good, kind men. I was a boy mom and I took great responsibility in that. I am still a boy mom, and my job with Eddie and Charlie is still very important, but now I am also a girl mom.

Looking into your eyes as I feed you does something to my heart. The way you stare into my eyes looking for comfort and love with your nourishment fills my heart with a determination to be a better woman. To be someone you can look up to with pride. To be a good role model for you.

And to get Starbucks and pedicures with you.

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One minute I will be getting all teary-eyed at how much I love you and how I will live up to be being the best mom possible for you, the next you are tooting in my hand and giving me side-eye.

You SO fit into this family, my Alice Beans.

Let’s keep up the fun!

I love you,

Momma

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Don’t forget that Charlie has a giveaway going on right now! Go enter!

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