my favorite eddie

Eddie,

In just over a month you will be turning three.

I just looked back at my posts from this time last year and the year before, and I was clearly sad that you were getting older.

This year I don’t feel sad.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like this whole deal where time steals my babies from me and replaces them with big boys.

But this year, pride is definitely choking out any sadness I feel about you getting bigger and older.

Eddie Bear, I am so fricking proud of you I could burst.

Yes, we have hard times.  You are almost three, after all.

You have a very, VERY strong stubborn streak and you are incredibly independent.

You want to do EVERYTHING “my own self, mommy.”

From helping me make juice to putting on your shoes to getting in your car seat to brushing your teeth.

No help is needed until you have tried and failed.  And even then, instead of jumping right in to do something for you, I try to encourage you to try again.

I was always such a quitter as a kid (and as an adult, if I am being honest).  It’s because I had no faith in myself that I could do anything.  I don’t want you to feel that way about yourself.  You are so bright and hardworking; daddy and I encourage you to do as much as you want to do on your own.

Because of this, you have become my helper.

Thursdays are now when Daddy has class, so you and I take care of Charlie together.   And soon, you will be home with me three days a week throughout the summer, and I can tell already that you and I will be a team.

Whenever we decide to do something, you say, ‘are we good to go?  let’s DO this!”

I die from the cute every time.

Most of the time you are very aware of your baby brother’s needs too.

If I am making dinner and he starts fussing or crying, you will jump over, put his pacifier in, and sweet talk to him.  Then you’ll announce, “I fixed baby Cha-wee, mommy.  Not you.  I.”

It makes me proud that you are so caring.

Eddie, you have no sense of being “too little” for anything.  And I love it.  If you see someone do something, you want to do it too and it never occurs to you that you might fail.

I wish I had this confidence.  This self-assurance.

You amaze me, Mr. Bear.

This past week you announced to me that you could read.  You opened How the Elephant Got His Trunk on my Nook and started telling me the story just by looking at the pictures.  You even got all the dialogue exactly right.

You sure can read, Eddie.  I am so proud.

Today you threw yourself on me and hugged me tight and announced, “you’re my favorite mommy, mom.”

I melted all over.  And then squeezed you so tight you squealed.

“You’re my favorite Eddie, Ed.”

And you giggled.

I love your giggle.  I love that you laugh at ridiculously obnoxious stuff like I do.

I love that daddy rolls his eyes at us when we are giggling about ridiculously obnoxious stuff.

I love that you have my same weird, quirky sense of humor.  You know.  The one that drives daddy crazy.

Yes, Eddie, we have our hard times, but you and I?  We are definitely a team.

I am so excited for you to turn three.

Because I am so proud of who you are.

And now?  Us being silly.  Because it’s our favorite.

Bud, you know I love you when I will post totally unflattering pictures of myself on the interwebs just because I love how much fun we had.

Don’t ever take yourself any more seriously than you do now…at age 2 and 11 months.

I love you.

You are my favorite Eddie, Ed.

Love,
Your favorite Mommy

you said it, kid.

Dear Eddie,

I just put you down for your last nap of our spring break together, and I am sad about it.

No really, I am.

You might think I am a horrible mother for saying this, but I dreaded spring break.

Oh, I needed the break from work badly, but the idea of staying home alone with you every day and not having a break gave me so much anxiety.

When you were born, the two of us were home alone together for almost three months.

It did not go well.

Daddy got laid off when you were four months old and stayed home with you for 17 months.

The days or hours that you and I had alone together were few.  This semester we have had Monday and Wednesday evenings.  They are usually hit and miss in the “going well” department.

So like I said, with spring break approaching?  I was terrified of you.

And as I suspected, we started out sort of rocky, but as the break progressed?  Something happened.

We found a flow.

Mornings became our favorite time together (yes, mom, you read that correctly).

Between 7:00 and 8:00 am every day, I would slowly wake to your chatter in the other room.

Even though I wanted to stay sleeping, knowing that you would have a big smile was a bigger pull than my pillow.

As I could hear you counting, I would wake the house up by starting coffee, opening blinds, and finding Handy Manny on Disney.

By the time I was spitting my toothpaste into the sink you would be calling, “Daaaeeee”.  I would smirk knowing you forgot that it was not Daddy getting you up.

You would smile and point at all the items you had tossed from the crib.

You would chatter on about things only you knew as I turned off your nightlight and humidifier.

As the coffee percolated, you and I would mesh into each other on the couch for some Disney channel until you were ready to explore the world.

Sometime midweek, I taught you to finally say, “maaa maa!” although I had my doubts that you associated it with me and were not just mimicking what I was saying.

We had construction crews in and out this week.  We had playdates.  We had fun.

Our mornings were filled with books and trucks and Little People villages and trains.

And then this morning, after reading Where is the Green Sheep for the third time, I asked you “where is Eddie?”

You pointed at your chest and nodded while carefully pronouncing, “Eh-ee”.

I beamed with pride all the way from the tips of my toes, “That’s right!!!  And I love Eddie!  More than all the green sheep in the world!”

Then I cautiously asked, “And were is momma?”

You scrunched up that nose into your mischievous smile and pointed at me.

I was about to praise you for getting it right when you nodded with each syllable saying, “maa maa”.

Oh Eddie.

I couldn’t contain myself.

I grabbed you and hugged you so hard you said, “noooooo”.

So I tickled you instead.

We both shouted “MAA MAA, EH-EE!”” together over and over.

And fell over in a fit of ridiculous giggles.

I think Daddy is right.  You and I?  Are a lot alike.

That makes me happy.

Now I have a Goofball in Crime.

I love you to the moon and back.

With a drum on my head.

Love,

Maa Maa

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