the inseparable, separated

Since March 13 at about 9am, you have been with me almost constantly.

I can count on one had the number of full days you and I have been apart since then.

From the moment you were put in my arms, something was different.

You wanted me. YOU wanted ME.

And I wanted you to want me.

I was over-joyed with it.

And even though we were now two instead of one,

we stuck so close together, neither noticed the separation.

It wasn’t as if I couldn’t put you down.

You would have totally been content wherever you were.

But you were most cozy on me, and I was most relaxed by your closeness.

You fill in my cracked, broken places in a way nothing or no one else has been able to.

You are nothing like me.

Your personality is so relaxed and easy.

You sit back and watch the world with a knowing smirk.

You are slow to crabbiness and quick to smile.

Your coos are quiet and happy.

Your laughter is few but squawky.

You are stingy with the smiles.

But you are oh, so happy always.

You have been my partner the past 5.5 months.

We have gone everywhere together.

But this week I went back to work.

As much as I wanted to pop you in the moby wrap and take you with me,

that was impossible.

My arms felt empty.

I kept turning to talk to you in your bounce seat or saucer or bumbo next to me…

but you weren’t there.

When I went back to work after having Eddie, I felt immense guilt.

Going back to work after being home with you is smaller guilt (still there, but smaller), but immense emptiness.

My side kick is missing.

But I know that even though we are apart…

you’ve got someone with you who will always have your back.

And I happen to know that his momma taught him to be kind and loving.

*************

Find a quick little interview I did on Care.com about teaching my kids manners.  Or they teaching me.  Whatever.

And  my piece, Be An Irresistible Blogger syndicated on BlogHer today

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