the hair post

I’ve whined about feeling yuck-o in this postpartum body once already (ok, more than once…unless you ONLY read this blog and don’t follow me on twitter, facebook, or know me in real life.  Then I totally only whined about it once).

Aside from the zit farm on the right side of my chin, the other things are starting to get better.

I suppose.

I mean, my hair isn’t falling out in clumps anymore.  Well, not HUGE clumps.

But I am left with hair so thin I can see my scalp.  I remember this from after Eddie was born.  Other than in middle school, postpartum hair is definitely the worst hair I have ever had.

Also it has been so hot lately that the hair that is left on my head wants to shellack itself to my neck via constant sweat.

Therefore my hair has a uniform lately…

Up.

As up as it can get.

Nothing cute.  Nothing fancy.  Just…up.

Wait…you say you want this look?

If you too want the messy, sweaty mom hair look, follow these steps:

  1. Go at LEAST one day without washing your hair.
  2. Pin the hair that qualifies as “bangs” back out of your face with at least 2 bobby pins.
  3. Gather all the long hair into a hairy twisty.  Sloppiness counts.
  4. For all those short back hairs that don’t fit up into grab a clip.  Makes no difference if it matches anything.
  5. Throw on a headband to keep the fly aways out of your face.  Again, matching is not necessary.
  6. For anything that is still sticking up, attack with bobby pins.  For me? I use anywhere from 5 to 573498572394 bobby pins.
  7. If you are still concerned about everything staying put (usually if your hair is clean), spray the snot out of it with hairspray.

This look works best with any array of colorful wife beater-style tank tops paired with yoga pants and flip flops.

Aww.  Look at that. I can still see evidence of my last salon visit in February before Charlie was born.  I got color, cut, and highlights.

I used to love getting my hair done.

Sigh.

Huh.  I can also see my scalp….because my part is twice as twice as wide as it used to be.

Stupid postpartum hair loss.

I mean…this is totally the “in” look.

And so are those greys that are sprouting in place of the luscious brown hairs.

Yeah. Totally.

Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

What was the worst postpartum body change for you?

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