Our Sweet Spot

I have such a treat for you all today.  Mary Lauren of My 3 Little Birds is here today as my latest Sluiter Nation Recruit.

I am usually a quiet stalker on Mary Lauren’s blog, and I frequently enjoy her posts at Babble’s Toddler Times. In fact, I was a little intimidated asking her to post here, but she was so gracious and lovely and well…you are going to love her.

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In my earliest memory, I was four years old. It’s more flash than narrative, more a feeling than a storyline, more a dream fragment than substantive recollection. Nevertheless, it’s a peek inside my childhood mind, and one I’m grateful I remember.

It was this time of year— early fall. We lived in a red house on a dead-end street and at four, I was still an only child. I opened the heavy storm door and stepped onto the front porch. There was a faint hint of smoke in the air— a neighbor burning trash, perhaps, on the other side of the hill. As I held onto the wrought-iron banister I said aloud to no one but the trees: I wish I were nine.

At the tender age of four, I was already willing time to speed up. I was willing to give the universe a sacrifice of 5 years, a burnt offering of childhood and why? So that I wouldn’t have to hold onto that banister to make it down the front steps.

At 35 I still will time. I move it forward, just like I did at 4 years old.

Could this day BE any longer?

Is it Friday yet?

Sometimes in my dreams I go backwards too. I think of being single and able to spend half a paycheck at the mall and didn’t have to buy jeans that hid the imperfections of middle age. I think of my blissful first year of marriage in the little first floor apartment where I learned to make meatballs his grandmother’s way (cooked IN the sauce- never baked).

But lately more than anything, I find myself pausing time. I want to freeze it like a movie frame, right before the hero kisses the girl, or on the brink of unlocking a mystery that sends the movie toward its victorious conclusion.

Right here. When she’s three. He’s five. And he’s nine.

Right now, in the house with the cramped second floor we’ll be leaving soon.

Here, in this moment, with its ups and downs, with its pillow fights and temper tantrums and fourth grade homework that makes me crazy.

Right here. This is our sweet spot in life, the dream fragment we’ll look back on one day and say, That. That’s the movie frame image I want to play again and again and again, till the lights in the theatre go out.

Posts That Made me Go BOOM! {11}

Whew!  We made it to the weekend!  It’s about time, right?

If you have some time to grab a cup (or two) of coffee and need some quality reading, you are in the right spot!

Here are my can’t miss picks from this week:

My girl, Dawana (from A Bittersweet Existence) is a gorgeous black woman married to a handsome white dude and they have the most beautiful little girl in the world.  This week, Dawna’s daughter asked her a question that threw her off:  Mommy, What Color Am I?

My blogging bestie, Miranda (from Not Super…Just Mom), posted her daughter, Emma’s, birth story this week.  I’m a sucker for birth stories, but Emma’s is super special because Miranda had her heart set on a VBAC and girlfriend did it…with NO MEDS!  Go read Emma’s VBAC Birth Story.

Missy (from Wonder, Friend) wrote a post I thought was a lovely explanation for those phases we all go through that are…what?  crabby?  unsettling, just…unpleasant.  Where we lose our shiz over small things and people look at us as if we are insane.  Go read Accidentally Sharing My Feelings.

This post by Jen (from Buried with Children) is probably my favorite of the week. All I can say is that it is absolute beautiful and I could not have written these feelings better if I tried.  Go now and read I Promise…

And I will leave you with one of the most interesting posts from my week by Jen (from The Martha Project).  I have to say that my mind would have been blown by what this woman said to her too.  Go read It’s All About The Money!

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In case you missed my post yesterday, starting Tuesday on BNV I will be doing a series about different schooling choices people make for their children and discussing America’s Public School system.  While I work through my survey results and get some interview questions gathered, I am going to start the series with a post about common misconceptions of Public Schools.  I hope you will come on over and read along.

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