There was a time not in the too distant past that I spent my Fridays flipping things off that really annoyed me. That meme has been on hiatus, but I think it needs a comeback…even if it’s just on this one blog, this one time. (Actually, I believe Momma Kiss is resurrecting it…so you should go check hers out too. She is way funnier than I am.) Anyway, here I go…it’s…
Flip the First: I need to flip off spam. No, not the fake meat (although, heck, while I’m at it, yeah. Flip that off too because it is gross), but the crap that comes through my email and my blog. Today my blog spam folder had 38 spam comments that I had to go through that ran the gamut of offering me macadamia nuts (what the…?) to telling me my post was “unique and pity”. And someone sent me an email today geared toward “sexy older woman”. Thirty-three does not qualify as “older”. FLIP OFF!
Flip the Second: The bunny who is eating my front hanging basket. Yes, a BUNNY is eating from a HANGING basket. I couldn’t figure out why in the world my front basket was looking so sad compared to EVERYTHING ELSE in my yard. I dead-headed like a mad woman, watered and miracle-grew that thing and still it looked sad. Then the other day, driving in, I see a fat bunny chewing yellow flowers and my basket was above his head SWINGING! JERK! FLIP OFF!
Flip the Third: Things costing money. Seriously. There is stuff I
need want and it all costs money. Money that I don’t have. Now don’t get me wrong, we are comfortable. I get my allowance, but it seems after I buy things and think I am good, someone mentions something else to me and I want that too. For instance I just decided I was done spending for BlogHer and I am all set on funds (thank you!!!), and then someone asks me if I am bringing spanx. Well, no. I don’t even own a pair. Crap. Do I need spanx? And now I am freaking out (more on my panic attack in my next post). FLIP OFF.
Flip the Fourth: People who shoot other people. Seriously jerk who killed people in Grand Rapids…what in the HECK were you thinking? It’s so sad and disgusting. FLIP OFF.
Flip the Fifth: The news going crazy for this guy. Um, that is what he wants. Cut that out. And put Jeopardy back on…it’s Kids Week and those kids are smart and entertaining. I don’t want to give this crazed lunatic anymore attention. Spend more time catching him, please.
Flip the Sixth: Prescription Cat food. Yup, you read that correctly. My old, geezer of a cat is on prescription food. He is 17 and has kidney failure, so they put him on this prescription soft food so that he gets tons of moisture to help process it. It gets REALLY ugly if he hasn’t had enough moisture. Anyway..this food? STINKS. Oh it is so gross. Every evening I gag a little when Cort feeds it to him. Like right now. I am typing this and the cat just got fed. Ew. FLIP OFF.
Ok, whew. That’s all the flipping off I can handle.
I do feel a bit better.
So tell me…what would you flip off this week? Go ahead, spill it. You’ll feel better having vented.