a camper i am not

We went camping this weekend.

I really don’t enjoy the act of camping, but I love my in-laws a LOT and they always manage to make it a good time, so we go on this trip every year.  I think this is our third year going out of the four-year tradition (we skipped 2009 when Eddie was born because I still had a fresh C-section scar).

We always go up Friday night to a campground on the Muskeegon River about an hour north of where we live.  Saturday we canoe all day and then we return Sunday morning.

Did I mention we tent camp?  I’ve blogged about our previous trips here (2008) (with more pics from that trip here) and here (2010).

I’ll have pictures of the trip after I get my canoe camera developed, but here are the things that I learned from this year’s trip…

1.  I have zero camping abilities.  I can’t set up a tent, blow up an air mattress, or enjoy dirt.

2. College kids have not changed at all since I was one.  They are still loud, drunk, and completely oblivious to the fact that there are other people in the campground.  Yeah, I’m looking at you, Rental Camper with the country and rap music.  Oh and you, Band of Douchebags behind the trees setting off illegal fireworks.  And no, I would never forget you, King Douche, for encouraging “Rage Paige” to vomit while sitting disturbingly close to our tent.

3. I can do my teacher voice in the summer.  Just ask the morons who tried to cut through our campsite to get to the “party” one site over.  The proof is the very wide berth they all made from then on.  They didn’t get quieter, but they didn’t come through our campsite either.

4. A sunburned face is indeed not better than a greasy one with more zits due to sunblock.

5. If you throw a football amongst four canoes going down a river?  Someone will lose their balance and fall out.  (he he…Liz).

6. My step-father-in-law will touch what he believes to be bear shit.

7. If told to be careful when picking up the incense stick thingys that keep the mosquitoes away?  Caution should be headed.  (stupid burn welts from ash).

8. Drunk girls will pull a Brittney and use public restrooms barefoot.

9. Prenatal vitamins require bringing a razor along on a weekend camping trip.  Unless of course it was my goal to blend with the woodland creatures. (Hint:  it was not).

10. An air mattress, no matter how firmly inflated, is no substitute for my own bed.

11. I can canoe for six hours without tipping us over.

12. After living on hobo pies and hot dogs, leftover anything from our fridge tastes great.

13. It is odd to not have a two year old around doing a running commentary on what vehicles are in your vicinity.

14.  Campground showers do not get you clean so much as make room for a new layer of filth.

15. My husband has a tough guy voice when it comes to drunk college kids.

16. Two people paddling a canoe is much faster than just one.  But not as relaxing.

17. Personal coolers at either end of the canoe is so much better than a shared cooler out of both of our reach.

18. College kids never miss an opportunity to point out a fart they just heard from a tent…even if they are in the middle of trying to pick up a drunk chick.

19.  It can be too hot to nap.

20. I can have fun camping…but I am glad we only do it once a year. (Thanks, Mom and Ray, for taking us along again this year!)

So…do you camp?  Do you like it?  Or are you like me and would MUCH rather vacation in a nice, air-conditioned hotel with a  big comfy bed?

**we also found out this weekend that we are becoming an aunt and uncle for the first time on Cort’s side of the family!  His sister, MacKenzie and her husband David, have been in the adoption process for about 15 months, and they just found out Thursday that they are the proud parents of twin boys!  Read all about it on their adoption blog, Stepping Stones, and maybe leave them a little Sluiter Nation love.

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