How BlogHer is Like the Prom

It’s Wednesday again…you know what that means…new meat a new Recruit to the Nation!  Don’t know what a Sluiter Nation Recruit is?  Find out here.

This week’s Recruit and I go WAY back.  Emily of DesignHer Momma and I actually knew each other in real life a LONG time before we discovered that we each have blogs.  We have a shared history of growing up with the smell of manure hanging in the air and tulips being celebrated with their own yearly festival.

Reading Emily’s tweets (and this lady’s tweets) last year are what made me yearn to go to BlogHer…or really any blogging conference.  Blissdom was my first choice, but because it was during the school year and during the week, I couldn’t get the time off, so I made the leap of faith that I could save up to go to Blogher.

And now I am nervous.  But Emily is here to calm me (and the rest of you nervous nellys) down.

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Oh hello there Sluiter Nation friends! My name is Emily, and while Katie and I often hang out on the internet together, we actually went to the same high school, and did some hanging out back in the day as well. I know, yep, we knew each other in the awkward years, or maybe they were the skinny years, depending on how you like to look at things.

I’ve heard a lot of talk here on Sluiter Nation about Katie going to her very first BlogHER conference in just a few weeks, and all the nervous gas that goes along with that. What? Katie doesn’t get the nervous poops like I do? Whateves.

Since going to a blog conference is an easy comparison to going to high school prom (I’m so freaked out! What am I going to wear! Who am I going to sit with? I hope my date roommates think I’m awesome (and that I don’t have nervous toots in bed), I thought I would take this time to post some coping mechanisms I’ve used in my blog conference experience:

  • Do not try to sustain life off vodka and cupcakes alone for four days straight. At first, it might appear to be a good idea, but I promise it will catch up with you. There will be so many events, all serving cake and fruity vodka infused drinks, and not much else. It will all be FREE! Don’t be cheap and skip dinner to save a few bucks. You will end up taking crazy pictures late at night and they will end up on the internet. What happens at BlogHER does not stay at BlogHER. Lady bloggers have high aperture lenses for retinas. Trust me, I’ve learned the hard way.

54814_mvsstudio(that’s me in the middle, 2 cupcakes and 4 gin and tonics for dinner)

  • While having the right outfit for every occasion is pretty high on the priority list and can be a major source of pre-conference anxiety, let me tell you what your most important outfit is: a pair of stretchy pants and hoodie sweatshirt. Oh, and a pair of very comfortable flip flops or slippers. The conference parties will wind down, you’ll realized all you ate the whole day was 3 chocolate cupcakes and oh, some vodka, and it will be time to rectify before things head south. More than likely, every night you will end up with strangers new bff’s hanging out in your hotel room eating take out hot wings. Please, please, please, do not forget to pack your cute black yoga pants (that I know you wear everyday at home, your probably wearing them right this very second as you read this) and your favorite alma mater sweatshirt. Cute dresses and funky necklaces are fun, but not when you’re eating nachos in bed.
  • Don’t discount a blogger you’ve been dying to meet just because they seemed “off putting” when you first meet them. Give the lady a second chance, more than likely she’s a super introvert that is painfully out of her comfort zone hanging out in the big scary ballroom. Because honestly, we’re all kinda nerdy and geeky, we spend our time talking to people on the internet about HTML code and whatever the heck SEO is. Not all bloggers have mastered the art of social skills; set first impression expectations low and you will have a great time.
  • Don’t freak out for a single second if you didn’t get invited to that important private party being hosted off site. Know what missing the invite means? It means that you weren’t on twitter, or facebook, or your email at the right time. These parties are by no way an indication on “how cool” you are. They only have a limited amount of tickets and they literally sell out in 5 minutes, to the lucky few who were online at the time and saw the very important tweet. By not having a golden ticket to that golden party, it’s like saying: Hey, I have a life and was doing something totally fun IRL instead of being on the computer 24/7. And anyway, you’re in San Diego, without your kids! Grab a friend, get some sushi (or whatever people in California eat) and go explore! Have the best time of your life…
  • And lastly, don’t be a swaghole, stuffslut, or samplestitute. You didn’t come all this way, leave the comforts of your couch, to spend all your time getting as many cans of free tuna and sample size deodorants that you can haul back in your luggage. Sure, you will freak your freak out when you see all the stuff the vendors want you to take home and sample, and by all means take the stuff you will actually use, but don’t spend all your time hoping from place to place just to grab loads of useless junk. (yes, I said it). Instead, spend time getting to know other women, or actually learning stuff in the sessions, or hellz, just go take a nap. You will need all those thing far worse than 18 free thumb drives.

See? Isn’t BlogHER just like prom? Sorry, I tried.

Recap: Stretchy pants and hot wings FTW, copious amounts of free vodka and tuna will get you in trouble, be nice to everyone, private parties are lame. Oh, and allow yourself to laugh, don’t take everything so seriously.

Friends, go forth and party with your fierce self. YOU are awesome, and YOU are worthy.

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Oh how I love Emily.  I wish she was going to BlogHer this year…I miss her.

Anyway, you should be following her on twitter and reading her blog.  Here are some of my favorite posts….

She is one of the most amazing friends that God put on this earth.  She loves and supports her friends fiercely:  For the Love of Girl Named Maddie and Mozzie (due) in May!  The Celebration Starts Today!

The post that sent me to the doctor which eventually saved my marriage…and my life:  I’m not Wrong…I’m just not Right.

And she brings the funny:  SPAM.  Rest in peace, ugly girl.

Ah there are so many more.  I think what I love best about reading Emily’s posts are her made up words like “photo bomb”, “aqua dump”, and as you saw in this post “swaghole”.  She is just funny and real.

And I pretty much love her.

Thank you Emily, for coming to my space.

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