Almost Half

Dear Baby #2,

Next week I will be able to call you by your name.  I’ll be able to address these letters to you personally.  Do you know how excited I am?  How excited we  are?  Daddy and Eddie and me?  Oh I don’t know if I will ever find the words to tell you how much we want you…how much we look forward to you.

We are almost halfway there, baby.  We are almost to the halfway point in this baking process.

Next week we will meet you. Sort of.

We will see you moving around on a black and white screen.  And we will know what only you know…whether you are a boy or girl.

And then? We will give you the name we have chosen for you.

I can’t wait to know.

I can’t wait to call you by your name.

I can’t wait to whisper your name over and over.

To start planning the little changes to your nursery.  To create personalized blankets and burp clothes and books and keepsakes.

To help your big brother learn to say your name.

And to tell the world about you, so they can call you by name to.

We are just about halfway.

It’s been a long road to this halfway point, and I can’t say it’s been easy or always delightful.

But lately I can feel you fluttering around in there.

You’re weight is being felt when I lift your brother and when I go up and and down stairs.

You’re only going to get bigger, your kicks harder.

You will make your presence known in a big way…very soon.

But for now?  We are almost halfway there.

And the prize for me is knowing your gender.

The prize for you is getting your name.

And those prizes will have to do.  They will have to hold us over until the REAL prize.

Meeting and touching for the first time.

In March, baby.

Before we know it.

I love you.

~Momma

 

the first letter

Dear Baby #2,

Huh.  I wish I had a better name for you than “Baby #2”.  We have a few real names floating around for you already, but those are waiting until we find out if you are a boy or a girl.

I have to be honest, there are a LOT of guesses out there already that say “girl”.  Now, if you are really a boy?  I don’t want you to feel bad that so many people are guessing girl.  I think a lot of it is wishful thinking.  You know, since we have a boy already.  But many people guessed your big brother was a girl too and that was not true, so you can’t put too much stock in guessing.

Daddy and I don’t really have a guess yet.

It’s hard to guess.  Mostly because it doesn’t matter to us.  We just want you.

Can you remember that?  We want you very, very much.

I need to make sure you know that because I am going to be honest with you.

It’s hard being pregnant with you.  At least so far.

Baby, I am sick all the time.  And when I am not sick, I am exhausted.  Or I have a bad headache from not being able to sleep at night because my sinuses are constricting.

The doctor has me on anti-nausea pills and I am really still pretty miserable.

There are many days when I wonder if I am going to make it through this first trimester.  I cry a lot.

I know you hear this.   Or at least sense it.

Please know that this is all worth it.  All the bad that I am feeling is so worth it if it means you will make it to us healthy in March.

Daddy is keeping this family running so I can focus on growing you.

He is so busy with your big brother and keeping the dishes and the laundry done.  He is pretty amazing.  I can’t wait for you to meet him.  Soon, when you get bigger,  you will hear him talk to you and feel his hand when you kick me.

We haven’t done much to prepare this house for one more person yet.

Your brother, Eddie’s, toys are all over the house and his new room isn’t done yet.  We haven’t gotten me a bigger car yet either.  It’s been pretty much all about my being exhausted.

But don’t think we aren’t excited.

We so are.

I have put away all my “regular” clothes and decided to wear stretchy and/or maternity clothes because even though I have lost weight since being pregnant with you, my middle is already thicker.

I am told this is normal with the second child.  I think people are just being nice to me.  But I’ll take it because maternity clothes are WAY more comfy than my regular work clothes.

Whenever I think about baby stuff, I start to day dream about you.

I can’t help but wonder what you’ll be like.  Will you be like your brother as a newborn or will you be a good sleeper?  Will you be a good eater?  Will you be cuddley or would you rather be laid down?

Will you have your brother’s curls?  Will you have my blue eyes?  Will you have your daddy’s dimples?

Will you be colicky and gassy and need soy formula like your brother?

It’s ok if you do.

Daddy and I dealt with it once, we can do it again.

We love you.

You are a Sluiter.

Get excited.

We are.

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