one is silver the other gold

Oh hey…it’s Wednesday again.  That means it’s time to meet another blogger…a new Sluiter Nation Recruit.  What’s a Recruit?  Start here.

Today’s Recruit is someone who has been a long-time Sluiter Nation visitor and supporter.  I met Molly of A Day in Mollywood via twitter and our shared experiences with depression.  That sounds a bit morbid, but I promise it’s not.

I was lucky enough to get to meet her at BlogHer…something I had hoped would happen.  And she was just as encouraging and lovely in person as she is in the world of the internet.

I am so very pleased that I can share her with you today.


Make new friends
but keep the old
One is silver
and the other gold

I remember walking into my kindergarten class, lunchbox in hand and mini backpack on my back. I met my first real friend, Terra, within minutes. Years later she would serve a very important purpose in my life. But I had no idea at the time.

I think we are attracted to certain people for reasons unknown to us.

The same could be said for internet friends.

If you’ve been blogging for any amount of time, chances are you’ve already found a few blog soul mates. The ones that send you into fits of laughter when you were trying really hard not to smile. The ones that cause an upheaval tears from a place you didn’t know existed. The posts where you find yourself nodding along because, while your friend is upset, you know you’ve been there too. That sense of knowing you’re not alone creeps up and knocks the wind out of your lungs.

These new connections, new friends, they’re the silver ones.

Like an unsteady game of Jenga, I’ve stacked one year of my life on top of the other. In doing so I’ve realized that it’s not the making of friends that is difficult. It’s keeping them.

I have lost many companions over the years. Sometimes it was my choice. But mostly they walked away from me. Each time they did I felt a deep sense of loss. The loss of what could have been. The hurt when I realized that person no longer felt I was worthy of their time. But I have come to understand that a friend is along for the ride as long as we need directions to get where we’re going at that time.

We all find it easier to keep friends on the internet. Maybe that is why so many of us are here. Reading about each other’s lives because if you’re offering it up and we’ve got a few spare moments, we’re able to speed up the friend-making process. Technology moves fast and we chase it.

Writing a blog is like the adult version of “show and tell.” We’re standing in front of the class. We’re talking about our favorite things. We’re asking people to like us. And that’s okay.

But we mustn’t forget to spend time with those outside of the computer screen. We need to remember that the friendships we’ve kept over the years will be the most important relationships of our lives.

Because they were cultivated without the help of social media. They have withstood the test of time. They are steadfast.

I can recall holding Terra’s hand, skipping out onto the playground for recess. We hid in the tunnel set above the jungle gym. Sharing secrets and sticking out our tongues at boys who dared enter our hiding place.
Twelve years later, I would receive a knock on my dorm room door. I opened it and was shocked to see Terra standing before me. She needed a new college roommate and I needed a friend more than she knew. We would hold hands during our first year of college. After losing touch through high school we were unexpectedly reunited. We shared laughter and tears. We shared shoes and shots at the bar. She ordered pizza at midnight while I cried over another break-up. She stood up for me when no one else would.

I never could have guessed how important she would be to my well-being during one of the most difficult years of my life. All because two little girls said “hi” to one another on the first day of school. Do you think a part of me knew? I’d like to think so.

But that’s the thing about relationships. You never know.

So hold all your friends close. The constant ones and the acquaintances. The ones who stayed and the ones who walked away. Keep them safe in your heart.
You never know when an old friend, a golden one, will come knocking on your door.


More Molly?  Ok!

Here is the post that won BlogHer Voice of the Year:  Part II: The Lost Year

One of the hardest things she has ever written:  The BlogHer Breakdown

A favorite of hers…a lovely reminder to keep things in perspective: The Random Placement of People

And a recent tale of a big heart…Let Him Drink