‘Twas The Night Before Alice

Dear boys,

Tomorrow is the day. Our world will change and our family will be complete. Tomorrow is Alice’s birthday!

I know we are all excited and even a little nervous. We think we know what to expect and we have planned as much as we can, but we also know in our hearts that there are no guarantees. Things could go awry quickly. There is no reason to expect it, but we just don’t know.  So we go into tomorrow with excitement and hope for a healthy baby and mommy.

But there is more, right? We can only guess at how our life will be different. We don’t know. Will Alice be a happy, content baby or will she have colic like Eddie did? Will she be easy to take out of the house, or will she be needy and fussy? We will find out soon!

I have a lot of emotions tonight as I write this. I look around me and see our life. There are Charlie’s trucks and Eddie’s backpack. I see Daddy’s french press and the tablet charging. Our life is nice and routine. We know how to be a family of four: Mommy, Daddy, Eddie, Charlie. Tomorrow it all changes.

How can life be so normal and yet on the verge of such change?

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Boys, I want you to know how thankful I am for all three of you. I know I’ve complained a LOT during this pregnancy, but you have all been so unbelievably helpful and supportive.

Eddie,

You are my number one. You made me a mom almost six years ago. You have been by my side helping and loving on me through this whole thing.

Many times you have said, “no mom! I will get that. I don’t want you to bend too much!” or “I just want to be helpful so you’re not so tired.”  I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to just grab you and squeeze you. How did I get so darn lucky to have a boy so sensitive and giving and kind?

When I have broke down in tears because I feel like a failure of a mom, you have put your hand on my arm and said, “you’re not THAT bad, mom,” and made me laugh. You seemed to always know when I needed a good snuggle, and you never complained that I fell asleep on the weekends during Charlie’s nap leaving you to watch Netflix and play Legos by yourself.

You are a wonderful big brother to Charlie, and I just know you will be everything to Alice too. You already love her so much!  You tell EVERYONE you see that your “very own baby sister will be borned on March 6!”  You told everyone in front of church on Sunday, you’ve told all your Zkids teachers and Mr. F, and you’ve told all your friends. You’ve even told people who you don’t really know!

In the past weeks our conversations about her have increased. You have wondered about her voice and her eyes. You have asked what her laugh will sound like. Eddie, you are amazing.  When I was sick, you worried about your sister being sick too, and admitted that you were afraid she might die in my tummy. That night we prayed together and you asked Jesus to keep your sister and mom safe. I can’t tell you how full you  make my heart, my Eddie Bear.

I promise to still make time for Mommy & Eddie time because our conversations mean so much to me. You made me a mommy and I will never ever take that for granted.

Eddie, you were born to be a Big Brother

Eddie, you were born to be a Big Brother

Charlie,

Oh my sweet little Charlie Bird. You fill my life with exasperation and laughter. You rage fiercely and love even stronger. At a week shy of turning three, you don’t fully understand what is about to happen to our house. Not as much as Eddie understands, anyway. You once told me you don’t like babies because “they get on you.”

However you get very excited to tell people about “Baby Alice!” and how she is coming. You pat my belly and kiss it and say your sister is in there. You have finally given up the nursery as not your room anymore, but that of Baby Alice.

Each time someone gifts us a tiny pink something or other you hug it and say “aw cute!”

Losing the baby status is going to be hard for you, Mr. Charlie Bird. Your love of being small and cute is pretty evident. You use that cuteness whenever you get a chance–although it works better with every other person (your dad included) than it does with me because I’m totally on to you, son.

You are going to love your sister, but also insist we put her down. You will want to give her kisses and then ignore her for your loud trucks. You will make her pretend food and then get angry that she is taking attention off of you. Maybe my predictions will be wrong, but I know you pretty well, my little boy.

But you are quite the lovey bug too. I know once she gets older, you will love on her like you do with Eddie and Dad Dad and me. Floppy newborn will probably not interest you much, but when you first make her laugh, your relationship will change forever. Your love languages are laughter and touch, which makes me think I will have to play defense against your tight hugs and sloppy kisses. But guess what? She will love them. Eddie might be her protector, but you will be her laughter.

Charlie I promise that you will not get shoved to the side. We will make time for Boy Time and Mommy & Charlie time. I will still cuddle with you in the chair before bed and read you stories when you ask.

That smile and that skrunchy nose. Oh Charlie.

That smile and that skrunchy nose. Oh Charlie.

Cortney,

Oh my sweet husband. I don’t know if I have the right words to even begin to tell you how much your love and support has meant to me. Not that this is different than any other area of our relationship, but more times than not I have been reminded how lucky I am to have a partner who is truly my partner. Someone who doesn’t keep score or hold on to hard feelings, but someone who gives everything he is to our team.

You have put up with my complainy, sucks at pregnancy self THREE times and you still love me and want to hug and kiss me every day. That is not too shabby. And I will say to you, WE ARE DONE! As of tomorrow, this is it. No more Pregnant Kate. You get your wife back. You know, sort of. After all that postpartum stuff, that is. But yay! End in sight!

I have spent the past nine months thanking you and apologizing to you over and over. You have picked up so much slack it’s like I wasn’t even here a bunch of the time. I know this burden has weighted on you, but you never say to me, “it’s too much. I just can’t.” Instead, you look at me and say, “it’s what we do. We are a team. You grow the kids. That’s your part.” In fact, just today you thanked me! I asked why and you said, “for growing the humans.”  And I laughed.

That is how we have always gotten through all of this hard stuff: laughter. It must be why our kids have such hilarious senses of humor as well. In all things we find the funny. That is a true gift.

My favorite thing is that through this pregnancy, I have come to re-realize that you are indeed my very best friend in the whole world. I would never want to go through life with anyone other than you.

I hope you know how appreciative I am of everything you do for me and the boys and for Alice. You are going to be the most amazing Dad of a Little Girl. I am sure of it.  You already deal with me and my crazy, what’s one more lady in the house, right?

I promise you that I will keep laughing with you (even when the postpartum hormone rush makes me cry at things like shoes on the wrong feet). I promise to go on dates with you SOON. And I promise to pat your cute butt at inappropriate times, per usual.

Let the weirdness march on!

Let the weirdness march on!

Boys, I am both terrified and thrilled that we are adding a new human to our house of crazy. Sluiter Nation will be more complete when we bring home that pink little bundle.

Just make sure not to run her over with a Tonka truck and I think we will be good.

I love you all so much. Thank you for being the best dudes a lady could ask for.

Now…on to a new adventure!! On to Wonderland with our Alice!

Love,
Mommy/Kate

Someday I Will…

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Eddie talks about what he wants to be when he grows up all the time, and every time it ends with “and I will live here with you and daddy forever!”

Cue me smiling hard and trying not to say, “NO YOU WILL NOT.”

Our last conversation went something like this:

Eddie: Mom, when I grow up I’m going to be an artist. And still live with you guys.”

Me: What kind of artist?

Eddie: A paintist

Me: And you’re going to live here? Why?

Eddie: Because I like living here.

Ok then.

Eddie loves crafts and painting and drawing. He also loves writing and reading. He also loves math. He also loves playing Clash of Clans and Cut the Rope and watching “good shows” on Netflix. He also loves to help clean and pick up because he “just wants to be helpful and responsible.”

He has absolutely no doubt that whatever he wants to do someday, he will do it.

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Always creating.

 

Do you remember when you had that sort of confidence about the future? I do. I distinctly remember in 3rd grade being asked to draw a picture and write sentences about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I wrote that I wanted to be a telephone operator so I could push buttons. I drew a picture of me sitting in a chair with a huge table of buttons in front of me and I was happily pushing the ones that lit up.

I was absolutely sure that is what I could do. I also was sure that if I changed my mind, I could do whatever else I chose too. I was eight. I had no thoughts of training or schooling or having to pay for that training or schooling.  Or moving away from my family. No, in my mind you just became what you wanted.

I asked Charlie today what he wanted to do when he was bigger. He put a finger next to his face, was thoughtful for a minute and answered “watch George.” I guess at 2-years old it’s harder to think about being “big” and having a “job”. He was, however quite involved with his tool set when I asked him after just watching a bunch of episodes of Handy Manny on Netflix.

Charlie is our putz-er. He likes to fiddle with things and “fix” them.  Last week I found him “working on his car”–a toy ride-on car that his Granny gave him. He had it upside down and was using a pencil to “fix” it. Upon closer inspection, he had also poured all his goldfish into the wheel well.

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“shh. mom. I working.”

 

Even Cortney and I are always talking about what we want to be when we “grow up”.  He finished his degree and is now a business owner.  That means it’s “my turn” again to go to school if I want to. And what I REALLY want to do is get my PhD.  I want to teach future English teachers.

With a baby coming, a new vehicle needed, and extra costs for diapers, formula, and daycare, we don’t have the money to pay for classes right now. I am, however, taking steps. I’ve met with “The Retirement” guy about retiring from my district in 10+ years. I have also been looking into re-taking the GRE (since I took it over 10 years ago for my Masters program, I have to re-take it before I apply to my PhD program). Then there are all the letters of rec and writing samples to get for my actual application.

It’s never too late (or too early) to think about what you want to do “someday”. That is something we try to instill in our kids. Education and learning new things never has to end.

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Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. Netflix has provided a year of free service along with a device to view it on, but the stories and opinions are all my own.

Every Child, Every Day

I spend a lot of time worrying about other people’s kids and whether or not they are reading, what they are reading, and if they are choosing things that are right for them.

In the first 10 minutes of class, my students are busy writing in their journals and getting their independent reading books out. Every day. I spend that 10 minutes walking around making sure every child has written something and has something to read. Every day. In fact, today during first hour I wrote three passes to the media center, had four kids check out books from my library, and conferenced with two kids who were having trouble getting started.  This is pretty typical for all of my hours.

I spend a large chunk of every day focused only on other kids’ reading.

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Last night, Eddie read a whole book to me.

A REAL book, not just one of his “just right library” books that says things like, “I see a dog,” and “I see a cat” on each page.  He read me, cover to cover, one of the Elephant and Piggie books, My Friend is Sad. If you know those books, you know they rely heavily on HOW you read the book too, and Eddie rocked it out. I spent a lot of time watching him rather than looking at the pages he was reading.

I was amazed.

My baby…ok, my oldest, but still…my BABY was READING a real BOOK.

And he loved it.

He didn’t fill out a reading log afterward (although school does send home a calendar each month and if you read for 20 minutes each day–and color in the days accordingly–you get a free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut. Not really my philosophy of creating readers, but Eddie does it for the joy of reading right now, and I am letting that just flow) or make a diorama. Instead he goes back to the cover and exclaims that the book is pretty funny and maybe the book fair will have more Elephant and Piggie books to choose from.

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Today when I pick Eddie up he will have two new books from a book order and whatever he chose at the book fair. He was still going back and forth about Skippy John Jones or Pete the Cat this morning as I hugged him goodbye, so I am eager to find out what he chose…what we will be reading together tonight.

I know he will keep the books out of his backpack and he’ll be holding them in his hand when I get to school.  I know he will smile and run when he sees me, waving the books to tell me what he bought. I know he will “take a picture walk” through them in the car to decide which one we should read first.

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Every time Eddie and I sit to read, I think about my students. How many of them were this ravenous about reading when they were in Kindergarten? How many of those kids “lost” that desire…and when did it happen?

Did those kids get a chance to read every single day like Eddie does?  Like I try to give them now?

I follow Richard Allington’s wordsEvery child, every day. This includes not just my students, but my own kids as well.

Skin Color Conversations

This week, unprompted, Eddie and I had three separate conversations about skin color.

Me: Hey, I wonder what Alice will look like.

Eddie: Maybe she will have curly hair!  Maybe she will have pretty brown skin! Maybe she will have blue eyes!

Me: Well, daddy has curly hair and I have blue eyes, so that is possible. If she has brown skin though, I will be jealous.

Eddie: Why? Because you are so peachy?

Me: Yes! Plus she probably won’t have brown skin since neither me or daddy have brown skin.

Eddie: So? Aunt Mackenzie and uncle Dave don’t have brown skin and TWO of their kids do. I like it.

Me: That is true, Eddie. But remember that Kingston and Kyrie were born in Ethiopia and Aunt Kenz and Uncle Dave went on a plane to get them there. They didn’t come out of Aunt Kenz’s tummy.

Eddie: So? They are still a family. I hope Alice has brown skin.

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Eddie (drawing a picture of Santa Claus on our snow day): Mom? What color skin does Santa have?

Me: I don’t know.

Eddie: How do you not KNOW?

Me: I’ve never met him. I mean, I’ve met his helpers at the malls who listen to kids tell their Christmas lists and stuff, but I’ve never seen the REAL Santa. I’m always asleep!

Eddie: Huh. I guess that makes sense. What color skin do you THINK he has? I mean, I need to color his skin here, mom.

Me: I guess I never thought about it. I don’t know.

Eddie: I’m just going to color him tan.

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Eddie (while watching The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That): You know why I don’t like this show, mom?

Me: Why?

Eddie: Because they never say whether Nick (black)  and Sally (white) are brother and sister or just friends.

Me: Well don’t they have different moms?

Eddie: Well, there are two moms, but sometimes I’m not sure if they are in the same house or not. So are they friends or brother and sister?

Me: I guess I don’t know either, Ed. Does it matter?

Eddie: No. But I just wish I knew. Every time I watch this I think about it.

Me: Why?

Eddie: I just like to know what is what!

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I like to have these conversations with Eddie. I know he notices skin color–he has an Indian friend and a Latino friend at school and has mentioned that the three of them all have different skin colors–but we have never brought up a separate discussion about what race is.

The only “race” Eddie knows it the kind you run in.

I don’t shy away from any conversation he has ever wanted to have with me, and I think it’s made him much more open to asking lots of questions. But is this good enough? I want my kids to be socially aware and active. I want them to choose kindness and love over everything else.

So far, Eddie seems to do that and I could not be more proud of him.

First Snow Day

Today Eddie and I are home for our very first snow day of the 2014-15 school year.

This is sort of a big deal because it’s only November 18 and there is over a foot of snow out there…and it’s still coming down. It’s also cool because my school district doesn’t close very often (we are an urban district with city roads that are very well plowed), but Eddie’s closes more frequently (his has a ton of rural roads). So the fact that we have today off together is pretty neat.

When I got the call just before 5:30am that my school was closed, I just figured Eddie’s was closed too. He is not a sleeper-in-er, so I figured this would mean when Cortney and Charlie left around 7am, I would need to get up.

Not so. Eddie was content to snuggle on the couch with the tablet and TV until almost 9am! He came into my room, slid into his daddy’s spot in bed, and put his face close to mine, “Mom? Hi. It’s a snow day!  Can you make me some breakfast?”

And thus started our day.

We watched some TV and had some breakfast.

I did some random things around the house that were bugging me (full sink of dishes, towels needing folding, etc) and Eddie decided it was a good day to put a major dent in his weekly homework.

Seriously. He decided this on his own!

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After he was done with homework, he got out his crayons and paper and the stapler and made a book. He also read all the Kindergarten sight words to me while I worked next to him. Then he went on to the first grade ones.

We had some lunch and discussed the awesomeness of carrots with ranch dressing.

We read some books.

Now he is watching Frosty the Snowman because it’s fitting and I am thinking about taking a shower…or lying on the couch with a book.

This day was a lovely little blessing.

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Don’t forget to enter my giveaway for a signed copy of the children’s book, Stand Up!

The Naming

I often get asked how we came up with our kids’ names. People love a good name story rather than “we just liked it” (which, by the way, I think is a totally legit reason to name your kid something).

When I was pregnant with Eddie, we had some criteria we made for choosing names:

1. It had to be something they would be proud to put on a CEO nameplate or use if they became a famous rock star. So it had to be versatile, yet respectable.

2. We wanted to incorporate family into each child’s name.

3. It needed to be somewhat traditional without a wonky spelling (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but after 15 years in education, and a husband with a “unique” name + a unique spelling of that name, we wanted to go “easy” on our kids).

Edward Steven Sluiter

Cortney had the name Edward all picked out since the very first time I got a positive pregnancy test in early 2007, two years before Eddie was born. Edward was his great grandpa’s name, but Eddie is also the name of the lead singer of Pearl Jam AND the legendary guitarist, Eddie VanHalen. So it was traditional AND rock n roll.

Edward Bear is also Winnie the Pooh’s “real name” (if you have ever read the novel, you would know this).

Eddie’s middle name is Steven, which was Cortney’s dad’s name. Cortney’s dad shared a birthday with great grandpa Edward and they were VERY close.

Eddie was baptized on their birthday, August 9th.

Charles Thomas Sluiter

We had no idea what to name Charlie. We discussed his name right up until we sent the text from the hospital after the ultrasound that he was a boy. I loved the name Charlie. The year before we had seen my school do the musical performance of Willy Wonka and I decided I needed a Charlie since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favorite kids books.

And as many of you know, we call him Charlie Bird…like Charlie “Bird” Parker, the famous jazz saxophone player.  Which is pretty rock n roll, if you ask me.

Eventually Cortney agreed that Charles/Charlie was the best name for our second son. We chose Thomas as his middle name quickly because it’s my dad’s name and we liked having both grandpas represented in our boys’ names.

Charlie was baptized just a day before my dad’s birthday at the end of April.

Alice Katherine Sluiter

Again this was first a Cortney choice. When I was pregnant with Eddie he told me if we had a girl he loved the name Alice. So did I. Over the six years since that name was first brought up, we have discussed several different middle names, but we always loved Alice as a first name.

Also, Alice in Wonderland! And Alice Cooper! ROCK N ROLL, YO!

We chose Katherine because that is my full name and, again, we wanted to keep the middle name in the family.  If all goes well, Alice will be baptized two days after my birthday at the end of March.

So tell me…are there stories behind the names of your children?

My Favorite Time of Day

He’s looking for me when I walk up, straining to see around the other kids and the tall adults. When he spots me, he smiles and heads right for me.

As soon as he gets within earshot, he starts talking:

Mom do you know what?

Mom, I found a book with George AND Katy No Pockets in it!

Mom, can I look at the book when we get to the car?

Guess what? I was sort of bad at school today, but actually it was a great day I mean.

And guess what? Gionna was the baddest at school today because she laughed at me when I dropped my book box. That isn’t even kind.

And guess what? There is a kid named Brennon who sings “Pharaoh, Pharaoh” with different words. Isn’t that weird? I didn’t tell him it’s weird though.

Hey mom, guess what? This is my apple chart. This one goes up to 100. That number is so big. Actually 1000 is bigger, but I don’t know how to write that yet. But I bet I will soon.

Guess what? I got a coupon for a free pizza because I read every day in October.

And mom? Can I just say something? I was really hoping I could pick a piece of my candy for a snack when we get home.

Hey mom? Can you carry my backpack? This book is pretty heavy and I’m not done looking at all the different illustrators in this book yet. I think Daddy is going to be excited to read one of these chapters tonight.

Mom! You forgot to take all those posters out of your car! I bet you couldn’t carry them all because you didn’t have me and Charlie to help you out like on the other day at your school.

And it goes on.

And on.

AND ON.

I love it. All of it.

Some days I forget that he was a late talker. That he had no word for me until he was nearly three, only two short years ago. Especially when he says things like, “perhaps you and daddy can take turns reading the chapters in my new library book.”

“perhaps”

He kills me every day from the minute I pick him up to the second his dad and brother get home.

It’s my favorite time of day.

Wild Sluiters

Kratt-mania has taken over Sluiter Nation.

The Sluiter brothers are enamored with the Kratt brothers.

It started out innocently enough: Wild Kratts came on after Word Girl on PBS after school while I was making dinner. It was the last “kids’ programming” show of our day before the TV went off or we turned it to the news.

Then I started to notice that the show wasn’t just on, the boys–BOTH of them–were actually watching it. You moms know what I mean here. Lots of times the TV will be on and the boys are only half-watching while they drive each other crazy play with other toys. But the second the theme song comes on, the boys stop what they are doing to watch the animals.

The Kratt brothers keep things exciting and fast-paced so even Charlie gets hooked.

Then we got Netflix. Did you know Wild Kratts is on Netflix?  They are. And Eddie has watched all the episodes so many times he can tell you which ones are “old” and which ones are “new” just based on the way they are drawn.

The Sluiter brothers heart the Kratt Brothers.

I probably don’t have to even explain their reaction when the Kratt brothers sent them plush figures and action toys to play with.

I’ll just say there was jumping up and down and then fighting over who got Chris and who got Martin and who got to play with which creature power.

The boys are already asking for more of the figures and the createrra set. I didn’t show them, but there is also there is also a power suit assortment set. We might have to get that for them for Christmas this year (available at Toys R Us).

We also have the first ever Wild Kratts book, Wild Sea Creatures: Sharks, Whales, and Dolphins! Eddie and I have read it together more than half a dozen times. We are hoping they come out with more in the series, because he wants to get one about bears and lions.

Ok, so I have to know…do your kids watch Wild Kratts? What do they love about it?

Note: This post should have pictures, but my blog is not fully recovered from its case of death. I will add pictures when I can because they are cute.

Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored. I was not compensated for my time or writing. My boys were sent the plush Chris and Martin Kratt dolls, the action figure sets, and book to enjoy. All opinions are our own.

soccer season

Before we had kids, Cortney and I talked about how we would absolutely not push them into a sport or activity that they did not want to do. Yes, Cortney played soccer and I was a band nerd, but we weren’t going to make our kids do those things. We wanted them to follow their own passions and interests.

Of course, I know that both of us always hoped we would have at least one of our children interested in the things we were. I am holding out for at least one band geek–especially a brass player–so when Eddie tells me maybe he would like to play the tuba some day, I am encouraging, but not overly so. I don’t want him to think I will be horribly disappointed if he chooses a woodwind (shudder) or choir (bigger shudder).

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Eddie at 7 months.

It has never been a secret that Cortney hopes for a soccer player.

Cort played since he was very little and all the way through high school. He did some adult leagues before we were married and is hoping to get back into some this year or next.

And Eddie has been wearing little soccer warm-up suits since he was tiny.

He always picked the soccer ball out of the pile.

He always picked the soccer ball out of the pile.

Even though I think he would have hoped for a soccer player with a girl too, I know as soon as we found out Eddie was a boy, Cortney began to think about the day he would help his little guy lace up his first pair of cleats.

He knew this would be a way he could connect and build a relationship with his boy.  Not that he wouldn’t love and support any activity Eddie wanted to do, but this one was special to him.

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Cort even admitted a little jealousy because he never had cleats this awesome.

I was never athletic. I didn’t play any sports. While I was looking forward to Eddie playing soccer because he was excited about it, the Saturday morning games weren’t exactly what I would choose to do. But then I went to his first game.  And not only did I get to watch him be part of a team and love it, I got to hear Cortney cheer for his boy.

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I will admit that Eddie is entertaining to watch because not only does he do a good job (most of the time), but when he does super well–like the goal he scored this past week–he will dance and give the crowd some laughs. I have NO IDEA where he gets that part of his personality.

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Right now he plays for the fun of it. He has some natural talent which we encourage, but if next fall comes around and he doesn’t want to play again, we are not going to make him.

He’s already talking about doing Tball in the spring, which we will sign him up for soon.

But for another two weeks it’s soccer season.

It’s hard to believe my tiny guy who liked to roll the plush soccer ball back and forth is finally a big kid who wears shin guards and cleats.  Gone are his chubby dimple hands and feet. They have been replaced by long, lanky arms and legs with kid feet (that stink like kid feet after a game…PU!).

Sports are just another reminder that my boys are growing up. But it’s good. It’s something we have been dreaming about for five years and now we get to see it happening in action.

At least we have a few more years before this one chooses a fall sport.

At least we have a few more years before this one chooses a fall sport.

Whether this is our first soccer season of many or just a one and done sport, it doesn’t matter.  We are helping the boys find what they love to do. And that is most important of all.

 

The Trouble with Kindergarten

Being away from each other all day is not new. Since he was three months old, Eddie has been in someone else’s care other than mine.

Yet I miss him more this year than I ever have.

Kindergarten is way tougher on me and him than I thought it would be. Way.

I think about him all day. I pray for him all night. I wring my hands.

This isn’t how I thought it was going to be.  I figured he would have an adjustment period. In fact, I knew that even though he was used to be gone all day and used to being busy, it would still be a big change. He would have to make new friends and learn a new routine and get used to a new set of rules and expectations.

But I had all the confidence in the world that he would be just fine. He would thrive. He would struggle with being tired, but he would make friends quickly. He’s a natural leader and so kind to everyone.

I wasn’t wrong about his kindness and ability to make friends.

I wasn’t wrong about being confident.

I didn’t expect the tummy-aches and the worrying from him.

Every day at pick up he tells me he had a great day, and he proceeds to talk my ear off the entire ride home. Every night at bedtime he confesses he doesn’t want to go to school in the morning, and he proceeds to cry out his fears and anxieties.

He is going through the adjustment period that I knew he would. This is all normal stuff. I thought I was prepared.

But I didn’t realize how much it would all hurt my heart.

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