Skin Color Conversations

This week, unprompted, Eddie and I had three separate conversations about skin color.

Me: Hey, I wonder what Alice will look like.

Eddie: Maybe she will have curly hair!  Maybe she will have pretty brown skin! Maybe she will have blue eyes!

Me: Well, daddy has curly hair and I have blue eyes, so that is possible. If she has brown skin though, I will be jealous.

Eddie: Why? Because you are so peachy?

Me: Yes! Plus she probably won’t have brown skin since neither me or daddy have brown skin.

Eddie: So? Aunt Mackenzie and uncle Dave don’t have brown skin and TWO of their kids do. I like it.

Me: That is true, Eddie. But remember that Kingston and Kyrie were born in Ethiopia and Aunt Kenz and Uncle Dave went on a plane to get them there. They didn’t come out of Aunt Kenz’s tummy.

Eddie: So? They are still a family. I hope Alice has brown skin.

************

Eddie (drawing a picture of Santa Claus on our snow day): Mom? What color skin does Santa have?

Me: I don’t know.

Eddie: How do you not KNOW?

Me: I’ve never met him. I mean, I’ve met his helpers at the malls who listen to kids tell their Christmas lists and stuff, but I’ve never seen the REAL Santa. I’m always asleep!

Eddie: Huh. I guess that makes sense. What color skin do you THINK he has? I mean, I need to color his skin here, mom.

Me: I guess I never thought about it. I don’t know.

Eddie: I’m just going to color him tan.

*************

Eddie (while watching The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That): You know why I don’t like this show, mom?

Me: Why?

Eddie: Because they never say whether Nick (black)  and Sally (white) are brother and sister or just friends.

Me: Well don’t they have different moms?

Eddie: Well, there are two moms, but sometimes I’m not sure if they are in the same house or not. So are they friends or brother and sister?

Me: I guess I don’t know either, Ed. Does it matter?

Eddie: No. But I just wish I knew. Every time I watch this I think about it.

Me: Why?

Eddie: I just like to know what is what!

*************

I like to have these conversations with Eddie. I know he notices skin color–he has an Indian friend and a Latino friend at school and has mentioned that the three of them all have different skin colors–but we have never brought up a separate discussion about what race is.

The only “race” Eddie knows it the kind you run in.

I don’t shy away from any conversation he has ever wanted to have with me, and I think it’s made him much more open to asking lots of questions. But is this good enough? I want my kids to be socially aware and active. I want them to choose kindness and love over everything else.

So far, Eddie seems to do that and I could not be more proud of him.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. I think it is good for kids to notice these things too and to talk about it with them. I think the earlier we have those conversations the more accepting and loving they are of people who look different than they do.

  2. Lucas has had that same concern about Nick & Sally! Kids are awesome. And so very astute!

  3. Tell Eddie I have the same questions about Nick and Sally. At this point, I’ve just assumed they are next door neighbors.

  4. I think it’s totally awesome that he’s noticing, and you’re having these conversations.

  5. Obviously, race & skin color end up in conversation, often, at our house (even though the half-African-American kid looks white). I’d say Eddie is well on the way to having a firm grip of behaving well.

  6. <3 him! What great conversations.