Sometimes It’s Hard

I enjoy writing about the sweet moments of motherhood: the funny things Eddie says, the innocent questions, Charlie’s belly laugh and fearless nature.

But sometimes it’s not sweet.

Sometimes this motherhood thing sort of sucks, if I am being honest.

It’s an unpredictable, patience-trying grind of hard.

It’s Charlie’s refusal to listen when we say “no” or his adamant nonacceptance of sitting in timeout when he has made an egregious error like hitting his brother, slapping me, or throwing toy tubs at people.

It’s Eddie incessant whining when we say no to tablet time or candy or more chocolate milk.

It’s sassy mouths and scream-crying at bedtime.

It’s lollygagging and stalling when we are in a hurry.

It’s ignored requests and disobedience.

It’s 10 minutes of fighting after 10 seconds of playing nicely.

It’s all the water that ends up out of the tub and onto the floor, walls, toilet, and me.

It’s the high-pitched scream of “MINE!” from Charlie.

It’s Eddie’s long-drawn out “CHAAAAARRRLIE!” when his brother does so much as breathe wrong.

It’s the way Charlie planks his whole body when I try to buckle him into his car seat after daycare…and a long day of work.

It’s the way Eddie thrashes his whole body when he doesn’t get his way.

And then…

boys3

Contrary to what some mothers will say, these sweet moments do NOT make it “all better” for me. They don’t wipe out the headache or the wound up feeling in my tummy. But they do soften the blow.

As much as this motherhood thing is lovely and miraculous and more love than I thought my heart could ever handle, it is really hard sometimes.

And sometimes I just need to admit that.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. I agree. They don’t wipe it all out. I like the way you put it, “soften the blow”. Hopefully as we age (and they do), these are the moments we’ll remember with greater clarity.
    Jennifer recently posted…Happy Mama Moment – SixMy Profile

  2. yes. They don’t make us forget but they do make it just a little bit sweeter.

  3. Are you living in my house. You just wrote all of my feels. I’m trying very hard to find the positives these days, but it is feeling very very hard.
    Laura recently posted…How to Brush Hair from a Parent who Doesn’t Brush HairMy Profile

  4. Oh, so true, so true! Sometimes this motherhood gig is hard hard stuff. I, too, need to admit that as often as feels right or necessary. Thanks for doing the same! 🙂
    Life Breath Present recently posted…Share Your World – 2014 – Week 17My Profile

  5. OMG- you spoke directly into my heart! I have a 5-month old boy, am a teacher, and am chairing a giant school-wide event in 2 days… and of course my son takes this time to begin sleep regressing and teething like a madman. Everyone “asks” (tells) me that this time is so amazing- isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t it just purely magical? You better enjoy every precious moment- this time is sacred! And all I can say is “yeah”, because if I spoke the truth, I’m terrified of how my students’ parents would react. Thank you for being blunt and honest, and making me not feel alone!

  6. Oh, honey. You’ve said everything I’ve ever thought about being a mom for the past thirteen years.

    Someone always says, “But it is all worth it.”

    Sometimes I wonder: is it? And then: it is. But, man. It’s so freaking hard.
    Andrea recently posted…How I WriteMy Profile

  7. And that’s okay! Part of it is just putting it out there and getting off your chest and for those of us who’ve been there too, to say, “Oh yeah, girl, I know that feeling!!” Because I do.
    Elaine A. recently posted…Because I’m Happ-ee-ee-ee!My Profile

  8. Truth. That’s all I can say.
    Amanda Venema recently posted…End of the roadMy Profile

  9. Oh yes, it’s so hard, some days, I just want to give up.
    No, the sweet moments don’t make the hard ones go away, but you’re right, it does soften the blow. It makes getting through the hard days just a little easier.
    Alison recently posted…Through The Lens Thursday #18: 3 ThingsMy Profile

  10. Some days I wonder what I was thinking…
    all those years, all that money, all that heartache for them to say, “I think I need a new mommy” but then Gio calls me “MamaLlama” or Jacob says, “you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever saw” and I know that it was for THIS, for THEM.

    but no, it doesn’t cancel out the fact that I miss two person vacations, no kindergarten homework and some semblance of a clean, uncluttered house.

    Loved this and you. Thank you.
    Kir recently posted…Just Write: The NukMy Profile

  11. YES!!! I think, we all need to admit it sometimes…
    Susi recently posted…My mom’s garden {Wordless Wednesday}My Profile

  12. I’d be neglecting my duties as the token “mommy blogger with a penis” if I didn’t admit to saying “that’s what she said” on seeing the title of this post.

    But, yeah, it’s difficult, more often than not. I, honestly, can’t remember the last day that I thought things were “easy.” Not since being a father of two. Not since being a father of one. Before then, even, not really since we started down the road to say “yep, we want to be parents.” Some days are certainly easier than others, but everything is difficult . . . you just, kind-of, make it work.

    And just because it’s difficult, well, it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it.
    John (Daddy Runs a Lot) recently posted…Where I contemplate this “fitness game”My Profile

  13. You speak truth!
    And I think we will all do better….and BE better if we just speak the truth every now then. Kids can be jerks — we love them – but seriously, sometimes they are jerks. (not that I would call them that of course – just to be clear.)
    But, it’s still our job to raise them to NOT end up going out into the world that way — and that is hard sometimes. it goes against everything we think a mother should feel about her children. some will be horrified that I used the word “jerk” — but I say, how can you fix it? If you don’t first acknowledge it?
    We raise one another up when we speak truth — and cover it over with tons of love.
    Rorybore recently posted…4 Fill in Fun: Paging Text SupportMy Profile