It’s not easy being married to me; I know that.
I don’t want to be told what to do.
I want my decisions made for me.
I want to be involved with all our friends and family.
I want to hide in our room away from all of civilization.
I have BIG ideas to do BIG things all the time.
I try to do too much.
I want you to listen and not try to fix my problems.
I want you to fix everything.
I want to be hugged and cuddled.
I want to be left alone.
I want you to know when I want attention and when I need to be left alone…without my telling you.
I want flowers and surprises.
I don’t want to spend money on frivolous things.
I want to be told I’m pretty.
I want to know the truth.
I want to be lied to about being pretty.
I want to give all our money to other people.
I want to buy all the selfish things.
I want to take time for myself without feeling selfish.
I feel selfish.
I want to smother you in awesome.
I don’t know how to do that.
I want to spend all my years and months and days and hours and minutes with you.
But not all the time because I want to be alone for minute too.
I’m afraid of time leaving us and missing moments with you.
I’m afraid I’ve already missed too many moments.
I trust you completely.
I get mad over things you didn’t even do because I imagined that you might have.
I worry about things out of my control.
I cry about being overwhelmed when I do it to myself.
I’m not a good listener…unless you’re telling me what I want to hear.
I don’t take compliments without thinking of a reason you are wrong for complimenting me.
I make small annoyances into huge dramas.
I want to be alone with you.
Not being alone with you makes me crabby…at you.
I know that 90% of the time I don’t make sense.
I know that I am not the same girl you married.
I also know that you are perfect for me. You are perfect for our boys.
My hope is that although I know I have changed, that I am still your Special Lady.
That I am still exactly who you need.