The Weekend-Long Hug

I was one of the many thousands of bloggers who went to BlogHer13 in Chicago this past weekend.

The last time I went was in 2011 to San Diego. I spent weeks planning all the things: outfits, sessions, parties…oh the parties. I packed an extra bag to take my swag home in.  I stressed and stressed and stressed.  Then I walked around the conference overwhelmed, sick (from the first trimester yuckies), tired, and depressed.  I didn’t do all the things I had planned; instead I followed what my roommates were doing. Some times this was awesome, other times not, but I did it because I had no confidence in myself. I was afraid to do anything alone (other than walk back to our room in the middle of the day or early in the night so I could get in some pregnant napping).

This time I spent almost no time pre-conference planning. I looked over the sessions, added the ones that sounded cool to my schedule via the BlogHer app, said yes to a couple outside parties with the intent to for sure go to one.

And then Jen came to pick me up on Thursday afternoon and we did the road trip thing to Chicago.

I don’t really know how to describe the three days/nights I was at BlogHer other than to say I came home with a peaceful heart.

It started at check in. I noticed that Ilana was standing behind us in line to check in. Our eyes met and instead of looking down at my feet, I smiled and said “hi” and she recognized me!  We were hurried because just as I was going to say something more, I needed to get out my credit card and blah blah, but we did manage a hug, and it set the tone for the weekend (so thank you, Illana!).

And then not an hour later I tripped and fell over my own flip flop in the middle of a busy sidewalk downtown Chicago. I was nervous this would cancel out my happy beginning and instead set an inauspicious tone for the weekend.

It did not.

scraped up knees. Jen laughed at me. Hard. I deserved it.

scraped up knees. Jen laughed at me. Hard. I deserved it. I would have laughed too.

In fact, the rest of the evening made up for a little bit of the bloody knee.

I am not going to go on and on about any of the parties, the sessions, or anything that I think could have been improved on. I’ll save all that for my BlogHer survey.

What I will say is that this year it was just me and Jen in a room, and that fit my style better. We live near each other, so there was no pressure to do ALL THE THINGS together since, you know, we can do that at home.

We did get quality time together though. Of course.



I could write a whole post about my love of Jen…but I will save that and say this: I am blessed beyond words to have a friend like her. I hope everyone has a “Jen” in her life.

first night dinner with some of the most lovely ladies on the internet.

first night dinner with some of the most lovely ladies on the internet.

This year I kept the outside parties to a very bare minimum opting instead to hang out with my friends and stick to the BlogHer events. I hugged people and they hugged me back.

In the past seeing someone I recognize and read and love would send me into a flurry of self-doubt over whether I am good enough to say hi…or whether they will like me as much in real life. This year I must not have packed that self-doubt because over and over again I walked up to bloggers I admire and said hi.

On the shuttle from hotel to conference center

On the shuttle from hotel to conference center

On Saturday, I had a meeting at 9:50am. Jen wasn’t really up to being out of bed yet, so I ventured off on my own deciding to see where the day took me. There were some sessions I thought I would check out, and I wasn’t nervous about being alone. I knew I would run into someone.

And I did.

New friends on the shuttle. A reader in line at Starbucks. Friends in the expo. Sluiter Nation fans in the sessions. Twitter peeps in the hall outside the sessions.

We got our make up done...and Shireen got mad lashes, yo.

We got our make up done…and Shireen got mad lashes, yo.

I met people I have been following for what seems like forever…and made fast friends (and was reminded why Indy bloggers totally rock, by the way).

I reconnected with old  friends and laughed and danced and laughed some more.

Me with #WineJen

Me with #WineJen

I got a massage, a manicure, and my make up done.

I felt pretty because I was treated like I was beautiful.

Each night I watched women toss off worry, stress, and body issues and boogie the heck down. Women from all roads of life, all sorts of blogging platforms, and all kinds of beliefs came together and had fun. And loved on each other.

after my manicure and make up

after my manicure and make up

Not once did I think about my squishy middle…or even my newly skinned knees.  Not once did I worry about being judged. Not once did I think I was less than anyone else.  Not once did I feel insecure.

Arnebya and I waiting for some music we can DANCE to.

Arnebya and I waiting for some music we can DANCE to.

I was told I have a Michigan accent…by a Texan as she giggled when I said “back pack” and “map”.

I had lunch with someone who I love and respect as a writer.

I watched someone read her VOTY piece and bawled. Even though I had read the post. It was part out of the emotion of the post and part because she and I had talked for so long about how we absolutely had to meet one day. And now we have.

I was hugged by someone whom I just knew had the best hugs…but was blown away by how good they are.

I found out that someone whom I thought was probably a kindred spirit, was actually a kindred soul.

I found someone who “gets” my looks like only Cortney does.  She is both disturbed and happy about this fact.

And of course there was someone who talked me into doing Karaoke (I’m the loon who starts on the far left and chooses to dance around rather than sing. You’re welcome).

Oh this list could go on and on long into the night. I don’t know where to stop!  I want to tell each and every individual whom I talked to that I loved talking to you…because I totally did. I loved it all.

They make me happy in my heart.

They make me happy in my heart.

To those I didn’t talk to, you made me happy too. The VOTY recipients, the fashion show participants, the session leaders, everyone who smiled at me…you also made me so proud to be part of this community…part of this thing that is blogging.

The weekend felt like a great big heart, soul, and body hug.

I came home exhausted, but happy. Renewed. Joyful.

About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.


  1. TheNextMartha says

    You made me laugh. I don’t even remember what it was now but I laughed. So thank you. And it was so nice to see and talk to you in person. We should do that more.

    • What WAS it that we were talking about?? I remember the laughing, but not why it was so funny! Oh such good times! It was awesome to see you again. So awesome.

  2. We need to meet, stat.
    So glad it was awesome for you. YAY!
    Sorry about the skinned knee!

    • I agree. I thought about you a lot over the weekend and how you would just love to be there…and how we would have loved to HAVE you there.

  3. There is a severe lack of bald men in those hug pictures . . . wish I could have made it this year. Especially since you did make it this year.

    • yeah, I didn’t meet too many dudes this year. Wish you were there. I would have rubbed your head. With your wife’s permission of course.

  4. I love the karaoke!! Was that the Robot?! 😀 I would’ve been the one cheering madly from the audience. Snort!

    I’m so glad it was an amazing experience for you. I remember your posts from 2011, and they weren’t so positive, but I completely understand what it’s like to feel the pressure and nerves, and what a difference it makes to let go and relax. Next time, I want to be in one of those hug pictures! (Love you and Arnebya, especially)

    • I have no idea what I was doing…dancing? Heh. Cortney took one look at the video, shook his head, and said “that’s my special lady, right there.” Ha ha ha!

      Yes, this was such a different experience. I wish you had been there. I thought about you often, just so you know!

  5. It makes me all warm inside to read the difference in your experience this time around.
    You DESERVED this little slice of happy, my friend.

    Wish I could have been a part of it – XO

  6. *sob*

    *more sobbing*


    *back to sobbing*

    I didn’t know I could love you more, but I do, because you are YOU, here on my screen or right in front of me. You are Katie through-and-through. (I sound a little Seuss-y in my weepiness.)

  7. I totally got goosebumps reading this! I wish we could all manage to meet up twice a year. It would be so very good for my soul!
    And you, you are a lot of fun! I could get into some serious trouble with you. xo

  8. That is a great list of friends you have there, Katie. It was fabulous to meet you!

  9. This is exactly what a blogging conference should be about. I’m bummed I missed out on meeting you or anyone else this year since I didn’t make it to BlogHer.

    • You know, there were things that could have been different, but I would have done it ALL over again even with the those things. Because it’s totally what you make of it. If you go in with the idea that it’s going to kick ass, it will!

  10. Glad you had such a fantastic time. This **MIGHT** be the kick in the ass I need to go to a conference.

  11. me? the best hugs? Really? REALLY?
    you know what you have the best of??? EVERYTHING. Smile and HUGS and love and sarcasm and DRESSES and OMG you made me giggle and wipe my eyes and every time I saw you I was like “gaaahhhh I hope if I go over there she doesn’t tell me to get lost, cause she’s a ROCK star and I just want to smile foolishly at her”

    it was a dream come true…to finally hug you my friend. XO

    • Woman, you give the best, most sincere hugs I have ever had wrapped around me. I am beyond glad that we met. BEYOND GLAD. It was amazing. And you are so gorgeous and lovely and exactly what I thought you would be like. Happy sighs…

      • you made me cry, like almost the UGLY cry 😉
        I loved everything about you…and now I wish we lived closer so I could hug you (And always ask beforehand) any ole time I want to.
        You were good for my soul Miss Katie, good for my SOUL. xo

  12. LOVE this aspect of BlogHer. So sorry I missed it!

  13. I love this. It’s perfect. Maybe one of these days I’ll actually ATTEND the darned event…

  14. I’m so glad we had our lunch date together. I need a t-shirt Date Kate It’s Great. AND that got me to reach out to Angela, which was also fantastic. Man, my instincts are AMAZING. Heh. But seriously they are.

    • I’m so glad we had the lunch date too! and yes, “Date Kate, It’s Great” is a wonderful Tshirt idea. I’m sure Cortney would get one too 🙂 And yay to connecting with Angela. She is lovely, right? You DO have the best instincts!

  15. Katie, sweet Katie. I am so glad we got to hang out more this time around. You are so fun and nobody dances to others singing karaoke like you do. NO BODY!!! 😉

    You rock my world, accent and all. And yes, it felt like a big hug. I just love that.


    • Awww! I rock your world? that is a pretty huge compliment. And really, you rocked mine, so the feeling is mutual 🙂

  16. Sigh. I must get over the self-doubt thing and get myself to a BlogHer one year 🙂 Love that a bum knee didn’t stop you from having the best time. I can feel the fun coming through your post!

  17. This is great. It’s all about the people and the laughing for me, too!

    Sorry about your injury. Bright side=you have a great story. 🙂

    • I don’t know if tripping over my own flip flop while trying to look over my roommate’s shoulder as she stares at the GPS on her phone while we attempt to get to a private party is a good story…or silly. Either way, it’s MINE! 🙂

  18. Can I just write a post that reads, “go see what Katie wrote”? Because yeah… all of this. I came home with my heart full, so very, very full, because of all of you.

  19. All you gotta do is the head nod to the door and I’m out, without knowing where. Every time.

  20. I’m sorry you fell but glad you met so many cool peeps and had such a great experience overall! I really really really hope BlogHer comes back to the west coast in 2014 and that you will come with it. (:

  21. So fun reading and trying to guess who you were talking about before clicking over. I also felt so much more peaceful this time around. Last year I wasn’t stressed per sé but more self conscious about how I looked. This year I was cool. 🙂

  22. I so loved hugging on you and for our impromptu floor chat on Saturday. xoxo