It didn’t happen all at once.
It never does.
But this weekend we finally were blessed with a slow, no agenda Saturday so I decided to do one of my good Saturday House Cleanings that I haven’t been able to do in months. You know, scrub everything really well all at once. The kind of clean that when you go outside to get the mail and come back in it smells like a mixture of lemon Pledge and Windex? Yeah, it was awesome.
But once I had the house all cleaned, and Charlie was napping and Cort and Eddie were outside, I saw what had happened while I bustle through our days.
The subtle shifts that have been happening in our house.
Once all the toys had been properly put away to make room for vacuuming and dusting, I saw the empty space where the baby swing once stood.
I saw the spot next to the couch where we used to keep the bounce seat.
I noticed that I could see our side table’s shelf with a picture of Cort and me because it wasn’t covered by the boppy or the bumbo seat.
The chunky trucks Eddie used to play with were long stashed in a drawer and out the table was a magnetic “discovery” truck set that involved fitting pieces together.
In the past nine weeks that I have been back to work, my infant very slowly morphed into a clapping, laughing, rolling, army-crawling baby.
When I wasn’t looking, my toddler ditched his diapers and his squeeze tubes of yogurt and grew right up into a Big Boy.
My baby feeds himself puffs and melon and banana.
My big boy assembles trucks and builds towers and asks questions and washes his own hands and face after dinner.
My baby has 3 and a half teeth.
My big boy stands up by the toilet to pee.
The infant carrier has been permanently stuck in my truck and a convertible seat has been installed in Cort’s truck. Eddie has upgraded his car seat to one that can convert to a booster and is good up to 100 pounds.
I just filled a tub with out-grown 6 months clothes to be stored away, possibly forever.
I filled another tub with 3T shirts and pants that don’t fit anyone in this house.
Eddie asks me big questions that I don’t know how to answer.
Charlie needs me less and less for things like falling asleep and holding his bottle.
It’s so cliche to say they “grow up so fast,” but they do. And it happens right in front of you without you knowing…until it’s too late.
Charlie’s chubby little hands with the dimples remind me that Eddie’s are thinning out and feel rough from play. Charlie’s complete trust in us to always be there for him reminds me that Eddie is developing doubts and fears.
This juxtaposition of having an almost 8 month old and an almost 3.5 year old reminds me that they are little for such a very, very brief time.
Each age and phase is so short, so fleeting.
Charlie’s days of being a squishy little pile that just eats and sleeps are completely gone. I know the days were fading when I went to work 9 weeks ago, but any hint of them is completely gone now.
I really do love this new shift that is happening, it’s just shocking to me how it seems to come out of nowhere, yet at the same time it’s been happening every day right in front of me.
One day this…
And then all the days that feel so much the same, but are subtly very much different happen. And I have this…
They amaze me every single day, these creatures I am blessed to call my sons.
Even if they are growing up way to quickly.