the season for other things

We are almost done with the fourth week of the school year.

Four weeks.

It’s been a month since I went back with the rest of the teachers and my boys started daycare full time.

You would think I would have a handle on our new routine by now, but instead of maintaining the status quo, I am frantically trying to be ready for just the next day.  Ready for next week Wednesday?  Pfft. I don’t even know what that day holds. Right now I can only tell you what I am doing tomorrow…and what I need to get into work early to get ready for tomorrow.

All I know is that I have copies to make in the morning.

I don’t even know if that last paragraph makes any sense.

My day starts as soon as the alarm goes off at 5:15am (assuming it didn’t start earlier with a wake-up cry–or three–from a child) and is nonstop until sometime after Eddie is tucked in bed.

I only have time to peek in at twitter and facebook on my lunch.

I check in here (if I even had a chance the day before to post) 2 or 3 times all day–not exactly time to “promote” anything.

Once I walk through the door with both boys, most nights I am on my own for getting the day put away, dinner in the boys’ tummies (and mine if I am lucky), bathes, jammies, and bed time.  If I am lucky, Cort gets home from class a wee bit early to relieve me from sleeping in Eddie’s bed story time with Eddie.

Today I realized that I only peed three times by 7:30 at night…and I had a LOT to drink today. No wonder I am getting kidney stones.

Things are shaking around here…just not the blog.

By the time I sit down in my chair with everything ready for the next day and crack open  my laptop, I usually just stare as twitter zooms by and facebook refreshes.

All the words in my brain are gone.

The most frustrating part? As soon as I lie down to sleep, the will start whirring around…collecting themselves into partial blog posts, letters to my boys, and poems about my life and experiences.

Somewhere between dusk and dawn, the words soak into my pillow and disappear.

Except from five years of writing it all down, I know that they haven’t really disappeared.

They are tucked safely under my pillow until I get a handle on things…which I will, because every year I do.

Then the words will sneak back.  They will crawl back in my head and whiz around behind my eyes demanding that I get them out and onto this blog.

But for now, I choose work over my blog.

I choose my boys over my blog.

I choose peeing over my blog.

And I choose sleep over my blog.

And that is all Ok.

It’s the season for other things right now.

At least most days.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. Of course it’s okay!!! We’re all here, regardless of season.

  2. Hey, it takes time to get into a new groove. This blog is not an obligation. We’ll be here whne you get a minute to share. Chill……

  3. Find your groove, Mama.

    We will still be here when you are able to get those words typed out.

    🙂

  4. It is most definitely ok. Go pee.

  5. I feel you Katie. I am not a teacher, but my oldest child started school this year and I just feel like the last 4 weeks have been a blur. I can’t seem to get anything done. Blogging is like number 3,472,801 on my to do list. I think I’ve posted once a week since school started. I don’t think my husband and I have had an actual conversation. Last night we had frozen waffles for dinner. And there is an odd smell in my kitchen that I can’t seem to nail down. That will need to be priority 1 this weekend.

    Getting the new schedule down is definitely rough.

    • starting with your third sentence, I was nodding along the whole way. my kid didn’t just start school, but 8 weeks ago my 11wk old had open heart surgery the week after I was supposed to return to work from maternity leave… so that’s kept things a little crazy. the rest though? I’m SO there. except I had pizza rolls. not waffles.

      is cleaning a valid excuse for missing a birthday party?

      • Oh man…I’m sorry about your baby. I hope everything turned out okay. My son had to have minor surgery when he was about 8 weeks old. He had a growth in his ear. Nothing compared to your worries, but I was pretty much a wreck.

        Absolutely it’s an excuse…but I say screw the house and go eat cake.

        • mmmmm cake. good call 🙂

          and yes – she’s doing great! had her 4mo checkup last week and she’s finally putting on some weight and everything looks fabulous! thank you!! I think any procedure on our kids is nerve-wracking, no matter how big or small! *hugs*

  6. have you peed yet?
    I forget too , here at work, so consumed with all the stuff I have on my desk lately.

    we all have seasons like the one you are having…I think I am having one like that too, and some seasonal depression. I really don’t like saying goodbye to summer. At all. I find myself Tired, lazy, not motivated in any real way these days.

    So I get it and you going back to work, having that new (GORGEOUS Face) in your life and just living is a lot. Be a mom, Be a wife, be a teacher, be a woman…you’re always a blogger to me.

    xoxoo

  7. I think I’ve been in this season for about 6 months now… or longer? sheesh.

    I hope you’re taking time to pee, kidney stones are no fun (as you already know.)

    and enjoy those boys. 🙂

    *hugs*

  8. We’ll be patiently waiting. Sounds like you have your priorities straight. 🙂 Best to you!

  9. As a general rule, I feel you should always choose peeing over blogging (there is also multi-tasking potential here). I’ve been there; I think a lot of bloggers go through these ebbs and flows, especially during times of such massive change. We’ll be ready for you when the words stop escaping.

  10. I can relate a lot to your post as a mom and full time English teacher. I remember thinking last night at 9:00 pm “I have been working since 6:30 am”.

    Please, please take care of yourself. I suffered serious burnout last year because I was keeping up a pace that you were keeping. I am now teaching less than full-time because I can no longer handle it.

  11. It’s definitely okay to chose all those things over your blog. One trick of mine though? Use the voice memo feature on your phone and speak all the partial blogs into it. Later on, you can transcribe them. I do it all the time and especially when I’m time-crunched. {awkward hugs}

  12. You have to do what is best for you friend. xo

  13. I love the way you said this, “Somewhere between dusk and dawn, the words soak into my pillow and disappear.
    Except from five years of writing it all down, I know that they haven’t really disappeared.
    They are tucked safely under my pillow until I get a handle on things…which I will, because every year I do.”

    So true and beautiful.

  14. I could have written this post word for word…except the two kids thing. But yeah, I get this 100%! (This comment is brought to you buy the kid watching Sesame Street on a Sunday morning.)

  15. Your boys ALWAYS come before your blog. ALWAYS! And when you’re ready, we will all be here waiting.

    Sending much love to you, my friend. xoxo