YOUR BEARD IS WEIRD!

And now from the Random Eddie File…

************

While we are driving in the car…

Eddie: Mom. Look at that car!

Me: Which one?

Eddie:  That one.  That yellow one.  That yellow car is FANCY!

(although it would sound more like: Dat one.  Dat way-yo one. Dat way-yo caw is FANCEE!)

*************

Not long ago, Cort and I introduced Eddie to the “Guess what? Chicken butt.” joke.  What he doesn’t understand is that the joke is in the rhyme.

Eddie: Guess what!

Me: What?

Eddie: Chicken butt!

Me: Ha!  Guess what!

Eddie: What?

Me: Chicken hut!

Eddie:  Ha ha!  Guess what!

Me: What?

Eddie: Chicken nose!

Me: Um, Ha?  Guess what!

Eddie: What!

Me: Chicken cut!

Eddie: He he he he!  Guess what!

Me: What!

Eddie: <pause while he smiles, then the sound of a squeak toy being stepped on> CHICKEN TOOT!

Me: GROSS!!!  P U!!!!

************

While Eddie is eating his lunch…

Me: Hey, Ed…

Eddie: What, Mom.  What?

Me: I love you!

Eddie: <points, attempts a wink, and makes a click sound with his mouth>

Me: O_O

************

It is somewhere around 6:30 in the morning.  I am sleeping and Cort is in the shower getting ready for work.  Suddenly, a wiggly body is in bed with me trying to get comfy on Cort’s side.

Me: Eddie?  Is that you?

Eddie: Yeah. I am sleeping here now.

Me:  Ok.  Why?

Eddie: Because of that noise.

Me: There is a noise?  Downstairs?  By your room?

Eddie:  That noise, mom.  Listen.  Sounds like “shhhhhhh”.

Me:  The shower?  Daddy in the shower?

Eddie:  Yeah.  All that racket in the shower.

Me: Um, ok. Are you going back to sleep?

Eddie: (as he covers himself completely with the comforter) Yes. Don’t talk a me.

*************

As he runs past the bathroom door over and over and over as I get ready…

Eddie: YOUR MUSTACHE IS MUSTACHE!!!

Eddie: YOUR BEARD IS WEIRD!!!

Eddie: YOUR MUSTACHE IS MUSTACHE!!!!

Eddie: YOUR BEARD IS WEIRD!!!!

(repeat, ad nauseum)

(He got this off a men’s hair color commercial.  The actual phrases are “Your beard is weird” and “your ‘stache is trash”).

************

As he collapses after 15 straight minutes of running up and down the hall yelling phrases from a men’s hair color commercial…

Eddie: Mom? I don’t have much energy.

Me: You’re all worn out?

Eddie: No, I just don’t have any energy. <takes a sip of milk> NOW I DO!!!!

(takes off again)

*************

As we curl up together in my chair before bedtime.

Eddie: (leans in very close) Mom? I wanna tell you an escret.

Me:  A what?

Eddie: no a EE-SCRET!

Me: A secret?

Eddie: Yup. I wanna tell you one.

Me: Ok, do it.

Eddie:  (all whispery and close to my ear) I yuv you, mommy.

Me: Oh Eddie.  I have an escret for you too.

Eddie: What?

Me: (in his ear) I love you too.  Forever and ever.

Eddie: that’s a YONG time, mom!  Ha ha ha ha!

Me:  It sure is, bud.

“I like your dance tricks. Yook at my dance tricks.”

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. Omigod I am in tears here! From laughing and crying because it’s funny and hilarious and poignant all at the same time!

    How did a 3 year old just do that to me? *melts into puddle*

  2. The winking one cracked me up. I got a mental image of him standing there winking and doing that making your fingers guns and snapping thing.. Oh how I miss moments like this.

  3. These are my favorite kind of posts! 🙂 Such great tidbits to remember down the road! 🙂

  4. Having these captured is perfect.

  5. Awwwwwwwwww.

  6. Your stache is trash is making me giggle. See? Three has snipets of good. They are fleeting, yes (ha!) but it’s in there (in my Ragu commercial voice).

  7. TheNextMartha says

    Love kids stories. He’s a keeper.

  8. gosh darnit this age is the best!!! Love the sip of milk= instant energy. Solo does that too!!

  9. I am sure you know this but that is one awesome kid you have there.

  10. Brittany Hubbel says

    So stinkin precious!

  11. I love that he gets all “Italian street dude” winking and making cat calls at you!
    m.

  12. How is it that milk has such wonderful energy-boosting powers for kids?? I don’t even get that much of a pick-me-up from 4 cups of coffee.

    He’s so ridiculously cute.

  13. Hahha. These made me laugh. 🙂

  14. I LOVE THESE.

    He is seriously such a smart little guy – so observant.

    I need to remember to write down some of what Bella is saying now, these stages fly by so fast.

  15. Oh these children are so awesome. They literal and funny and their tiny voices and innocent logic just kill me.