Take a Bottle…

Three years ago at this time I was almost seven months pregnant with Eddie.

Although I was blogging, I hadn’t found the blogosphere yet, but there was no shortage of mommy advice.  I mean, almost all my friends had already had babies.  All the people I was “friends” with on facebook–especially from high school–already had babies.

And everyone wanted to know…”so are you going to breastfeed?”

It actually never occurred to me to breastfeed.  My mom didn’t breastfeed and every cousin or kid that I baby sat for was bottle fed.

Then I looked around and realized everyone was breastfeeding nowadays.  Everyone.  At least in my life.

I knew the “breast was best” rule and I am aware that a female’s bewbs are there to feed her newborn, but somehow, I just didn’t consider that to be the way I would take.

So when I answered, “no.  we will probably bottle feed,” you can imagine the questioning looks I got.

Or rather the raised eyebrows, the barrage of “why in the world not’s”, and the “oh you HAVE to!  It’s the best’s!”

So  I started telling people we weren’t sure yet.

It was a lie.  I was sure.

Something inside of me said, “don’t do it.”

I have learned the hard way that the little voice…not the selfish one…but the nagging one…tells you something, you listen.

I asked my mom what she thought.  She said I should do what I want.  That we were all bottle fed and turned out fine, but that breastfeeding is considered better for the baby.  She said whatever I did was going to be the right thing.

And aside: I love my mom.

I asked Cort what his opinion was.  He said it was my choice and that whatever was the case, he would do everything he could to help with the baby.

So. My choice.

And there was that voice from deep within…”BOTTLE”

Yes, it was starting to get yelly, hence the all caps.

But all these people were yelling in my face too…about using my bewbs.  They were sure I was being selfish with my choice.

But my choice had nothing to do with my being selfish.

I mean, I wasn’t concerned about what my bewbs would look like.  Regardless of whether or not I breastfeed, those puppies will never look the same.  Pregnancy coupled with gravity and age are not doing those sweater puppies any favors.

On the other hand, I did hear horror stories from the very people who told me they loved it.  Stories about how they wished someone else could take the baby so they didn’t feel like they were always the one that had to be there.  I guess selfishly I wanted myself back a bit after the baby was born.  I didn’t want to be the one who had to give him every. single. meal.

The cracked nipples and bleeding and clogged ducts and infections and all?  That didn’t scare me.  It was the part of finally having given birth, but still having a child attached to me constantly.  Of not being able to go anywhere without him.  Of Cort STILL saying he wished he could do some of it like he says all through pregnancy (and I know he means).

My friends and acquaintances still told me I should try.

Except for a very few who know me very well.  They said, “do what you feel is best.”

And I did.

When I went in for my pre-admission appointment for Eddie’s delivery, I answered “bottle” to the question, “breastfeed or bottle feed?”  And I braced myself for a lecture.

Instead, she smiled and said, “well then you won’t need the lactation specialists coming to your room!  Now, would you like us to use Similac or Infamil?”

I felt good.  I felt Ok.  I just hoped I didn’t regret my decision.

Then Eddie came along.

And so did his colic.  And my PPD.  And my PPA.

I’ll tell you what.  If I hadn’t had the ability to tag team the night feedings and to hand the baby away to someone else, I might not be here today.

I am so not kidding.

At one point I said to Cort, “what if I was breastfeeding?”

He just said, “Oh God.”

Right?  Even if it had gone easily for me, Eddie was a colicky mess and his ped said it had NOTHING to do with feeding.  He was just, well, a mess. And he had to work through it.

Had I been the only one who could have fed him during that time?  I am afraid I would have ended up hospitalized for my PPD/A.  In fact, I am sure of it.

And I never regretted not breastfeeding. In fact, since bottle feeding, I have found other things that have solidified my decision too, but that is not really the issue.  I am not trying to convince anyone to bottle feed.  I’m just tell you what has turned out to be right for us.

I loved feeding Eddie his bottles…and so did Cort.  And our moms.  And anyone who was there to help us.

I don’t feel our bond suffered because he was bottle fed.  In fact, his bond with his daddy was probably better because he was.

I am repeatedly glad I listened to my gut when it told me to choose the bottle.  My brain and heart were already preparing me for the overload they would be handling with a new baby around.  They were telling me where to draw the line.

And despite my PPD/A?  He and I are just fine.  We have developed an even more special, crazy close bond than I could ever imagine.

So yes.  We choose the bottle for our children.

And it really just started with “because we want to.”

So the tiny bottles have been taken out of storage, the size one nipples sorted out, and the bottle station set back up.

Because by this time next week, we will have a new little someone to swaddle up and serve up a bottle to.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
About Katie Sluiter

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a high school English teacher, college adjunct instructor, freelance writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. i was bottle fed and i turned out ok. i also bottle fed louise and she’s doing just fine, at the ripe old age of two she hasn’t once been on antibiotics, so while i hear breast milk helps with the immune system, hers seems to be doing just fine sans breast milk. you have to do what’s right for you and your family and you should definitely listen to that voice that’s telling you maybe breastfeeding isn’t it.

  2. You do what is right for you and your family! You’re a great mom!

    You know it’s really funny how people are so divided on this issue. Women in my family have breast fed because they couldn’t afford formula. When my sister had her children and couldn’t breast feed because she’d had cancer and is now on meds that she has to take every day, no one even finched. Everyone was super supportive. And I got to spend time bonding with my niece and nephew.

    Doing what is right for you and your family is all that matters. Lots of love to you!!

  3. i have to say though, i HATED avent bottles and i really WANTED to love them. i guess you must have used them last time though, so maybe they worked for you.

    • no, they are leaky. But they fixed that. All we had to do was get this ring adapter thing instead of buying all new bottles. now they are lovely!

      • that was exactly the problem, i HATED them! wish i would have known about the adapter because i spent an arm and a leg on those damn bottles!

  4. Good for you for doing what YOU wanted. It’s okay, it really is. My baby was 9 pounds at birth. By day 2, the doc came in and stuck a bottle in her mouth b/c she was starving. I was actually quite relieved. I pumped a little, but was not made for feeding a big baby. She’s great, I was happy, and life was good. How exciting re: next week!!! Woo hoo.

  5. Ditto. I breastfed each of my girls for 3 days, and then switched to the bottle. Nursing never clicked and I felt immense relief when I stopped. I am a better, happier mother for it.

  6. Samantha says:

    I am a big breastfeeding advocate (now), but I still think it’s a parent’s decision and what’s best for the family is best for the baby. When I first became pregnant I couldn’t imagine myself breastfeeding. I had never seen anyone breastfeeding a baby (even though I was breastfed, I don’t remember it ;-). Up until then I thought of my boobs in a sexual way and the idea of feeding my baby was weird and uncomfortable. But I read the literature and convinced myself I HAD to do it. I even became a little (or a lot) OCD about it and was actually afraid of giving my son formula even for the occasional bottle so I could sleep (I never could because I would have panic attacks). When I had to have minor surgery when he was 2 months old I pumped around the clock for days before so I would have a stash.

    Do I regret breastfeeding? Not at all. But I do regret the pressure I put on myself because I felt like others would judge me if I did not. Or even worse, I would judge myself. Or some unknown health problem would happen to my son because I gave him a few bottles of formula (paranoid much?). When my son weaned himself when I went back to work (when he was one), I felt like a failure because I didn’t do extended breastfeeding. And I went an entire year of not sleeping for more than two or three hours at a time. I hope that next time around I can be more relaxed about it and not so hard on myself. While I’m sure I’ll be confident in my choice to breastfeed again, I hope I am confident in my decision to take a break from it once in awhile.

    Good for you about being confident in your decision as a parent. As long as the kid is fed and happy, why should others care so much about your choice?

    • Samantha, your post was so refreshing. Going to stereotype based on MY experiences…the big breastfeeding advocates I know/knew were never so honest about their own struggles. I’m a long time out from the bottle vs breast debate, but I really appreciated your comment.

      • Samantha says:

        Thank you. I think an advocate is someone who should provide information and then help support women who choose breastfeed. It’s not an advocate’s job to bully people into doing something they don’t want to do, or to make them feel bad for choosing not to. I provide my friends, family and acquaintance with information and help if they ask for it. But I don’t make them feel bad if they decide it’s not right for them or it doesn’t work out. I may not have personally made the same decisions, but to each their own.

  7. This is such a thought provoking post to me. I had almost the exact opposite experience. I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but was met with raised eyebrows and questions of “why?” I wound up breastfeeding long term and people would say “ugh you’re STILL doing it?” Well, yes, I was, because that’s what worked for us. I also had PPD but I feel that breastfeeding is what saved me and allowed me to bond. I’m a huge supporter of breastfeeding, but I’m also a huge believer in following your instincts as a mommy and doing what is best for you and your baby. It sounds like we both made the right choices.

  8. Whatever works for your family is what matters. I’m glad you are doing what’s comfortable. Best to you next week!

    Murray’s Momma

  9. GO Katie! Way to listen to your gut. I’m a firm believer that it’s always right :)

  10. I think there were only 3 things I hated about bottle feeding. The cost (I had twins the 2nd time around), the smell, and washing all the damn bottles. It was a happy day when I bought my last can of formula & threw out the bottles.

  11. I remember being all “meh” about the whole thing. The way I had it figured, if breastfeeding worked then fabulous, if not then formula would be fine. I had all kinds of people freaking out because I was so lackadaisical about the whole thing.

    I ended up breastfeeding and it was good. In the beginning it was tough and we ended up supplementing DG with formula because my milk to for-freaking-ever to come in and she lost too much weight. DG got pumped milk in a bottle, occasional formula, and breastfed straight from me. It’s what worked for us.

    I would never a billion years be all “DO THIS BECAUSE IT’S HOW I DID IT AND IT’S THE ONLY WAY!” because that would be all yell-y and who wants that? I’m over the wars. I like the saying that someone told me when I was late in my pregnancy with DG, “I don’t care how you feed your baby as long as you feed your baby.” :)

    Also? Holy cow to saying baby Charlie will be here NEXT WEEK!!! (Yep. Yelling.) :D

  12. I love that you wrote this in true transparent Katie style. The world needs a ‘lil more of that here and there! :)

  13. Good for you, Katie, for listening to yourself. I didn’t (my inner self was screaming “BOTTLE!!!” too, but I ignored her), and I think breastfeeding/pumping played a major part in my PPD/PPA. I would absolutely NOT do it again.

    It’s terrible that we’ve come to such a judgmental place that women have to justify to everyone (and each other, especially) the way in which they choose to feed their child. A healthy mother is so much more important.

    Will be thinking about you next week and hoping this go-round is smooth sailing all the way.

  14. It took me six weeks with my first to embrace the reality that the bottle was better for all of us. I did eventually breastfeed for a year with my 4th and 5th kids and for 9 months with my 6th. But with all of my kids I introduced a bottle early and regularly because I could not handle the burden of being the only one able to feed the baby. It was best for all of us for sure. I’m so glad you listened to your instincts and made the right choice for you. I wish more new moms had that kind of wisdom right away. I think it would save so much heartache and guilt. And congratulations!

  15. Yes yes yes!!! I breast feed for a total of 5 months. 3 our first and 2 our second. I hated every minute of it but I didn’t have the strength to just let go. If I could do it all again, I would’ve pumped for as long as I could bear it and then gone to formula. Never putting a baby to my breast. But now, with both kids happily drinking milk, it’s over.
    Congrats to you on your little one and for staying by your decision to bottle feed. Your kids are so lucky to have a mother was strong enough to trust her instincts.

  16. I love this post. I thank you for being so honest. I did breastfeed for the first three months of my son’s life. He was born premature, he wouldn’t latch. We struggled. By the time I got back to work, my supply dropped and that helped to push me over the PPD edge. Once I got on medication I stopped breastfeeding. It was bittersweet, but breastfeeding wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns for me. It was tough. It never felt “right” to me. My husband and I are currently trying to figure out if/when child number two should come along and I am considering going straight to the bottle for the next child. I really do think that I may be able to lessen my chances of PPD without breastfeeding in the picture. Thanks for sharing and good luck with baby number two!

  17. You go, girl! (that sounds so 90s to me all of a sudden)

    If moms can learn to listen to her gut and instinct, she’s got a great tool for the mommy ride.

    I think you’re a rockstar for being so “brave” to post this. It’s sad that this has to be such a debate among moms.

    You do what works for you, ya know?

    PS
    I breastfed for a short time with each baby and then bottle fed. Like you, had I NOT switched to bottle, the PPD & PPA would’ve been multiplied.

  18. You hit on the most important advice for moms: do what you think is best. And, when it comes to something as intimate as breastfeeding, the choice is yours and yours alone.
    Which is why I chose to breastfeed.
    And why I breastfed my daughter for over two years, despite the looks and snickers.
    Katie, you are a strong woman who makes strong decisions, and I wouldnt dream of trying to change your mind about breastfeeding.
    But for others who might read this: breastfeeding doesnt always mean lack of freedom. I often pumped, and left bottles of breastmilk with my husband when I needed to go out alone. And breastfeeding can be a lifesaver: I could get my baby to sleep in minutes without having to get out of bed myself, I had an instant solution to pretty much every baby woe, and had a portable food source that required no prep or cleanup.

  19. I just have to wonder if Katie HAD support from family/friends… and from her husband NUMBER ONE, because it sure looks like she was searching for support, but never found it… maybe then she would have been able to sucessfuly breastfeed? It is not even about ‘feeling comfortable about breasts’ or sexuality over breasts. It’s like old tradition passed down from generations of women… midwifes and doulas, girlfriends, and other mothers… and joining the ranks of the ‘breastfeeing mothers’. I am exclusivley breastfeeding my 7 month old son, I was never breastfed, nor did I grow up with any friends/family bf’ing. I still managed to get out, find the education and support I needed, (especially from my partner who WAS breastfed, and watched his sister be fed the NORMAL way… via BREAST) and give my child the gift of the only custom, imunity protection, healthiest, and preservative free, mothers milk. Born at 9.5 lbs, he is thriving at 22 lbs now and we both are enjoying our relationship, and that we are able to be role models, and are able to give support and help to my girlfriends even if they only try it, breast feeding even for a short amount of time is better than NO time at all!

    • I DID have support from my family and especially my husband. They told me to choose what was best for me. Just because they didn’t tell me to breastfeed, doesn’t mean they didn’t support me. Just because they “let” me bottle feed doesn’t mean there wasn’t support.

      My child is never sick, has no food allergies, and is a very happy child.

      And he was fed normally too.

      Bottle feeding your baby doesn’t make you abnormal.

      I think it’s great that you are exclusively breastfeeding your son. I am not breastfeeding mine at all. But we are both great moms because we are doing what is best for our families.

      • That’s O.K. you do not have to be part of our breast feeding community, the formula companies, and their terrible morals would much rather take your $$$ money anyways :)

        I am adopted, hence why I was bottle fed. I am also only 22 years old, sure, they will turn out “Just fine.” I turned out… “Just fine.” too! I never said your child was not happy or healthy… or hypoallergenic….

        The natural, and normal way to feed a baby is without preservatives and processed foods… The natural and normal way is with over 400 vitamins and minerals that cannot be reproduced any other way but, from the breast itself!

        I have encouraged and supported my girlfriends to breast feed, even if they ONLY try it… because we all know that colostrum is liquid gold. And if that is the only mothers milk your baby will receive, it is the BEST start to life, and preparing the gut for many many healthy years to come. Many of my VERY closest girlfriends FF, does not make them a bad person, or unhealthy…. because they tried BFing, and for personal reasons it did not work out. At least they tried! As I said before, any breast milk is better than none at all!

        Good luck with you new baby, and whether or not you choose to give the gift of liquid gold to your precious baby, I am sure he will turn out just fine too! Can’t say I did not try to encourage you to breast feed, and my job is done!

    • The “NORMAL” way? Who are you to say what’s “NORMAL”?!

  20. First, I am so excited for you! It’s so fun seeing all of those little bottles set up there for the new baby!
    Second, this is a GREAT message. People can really get judgy over in the breast feeding camp. I tried to breast feed my daughter and my milk didn’t come it. I know some people go through months of trials to get it to come, but I knew a week in that it was right to move on and give my preemie the bottle so that we could worry about other things. As my pediatrician said, “she can still go to Harvard even if she eats formula.”
    Can’t wait to “meet” the new little guy!

  21. The number one piece of advice I give a pregnant mom is do what’s best for them and what works for them without listening to everyone else. It just makes good sense.

    I tried to BF my oldest, but it didn’t work out and by day 10, he was on formula. He’s a healthy kid, aside from multiple food allergies, which made me feel really guilty because there are studies that say that BF babies are less likely to have food allergies.

    So when I got pregnant with #2, I decided I was going to try BF again. It worked that time. It worked so well that #2 refused formula and I BF for a full year, until he started drinking whole milk.

    The day he started drinking whole milk? I had a freaking celebration. BF was the hardest and most self-less thing I have ever done. It is NOT for everyone. Hell, it wasn’t for me, but I did it.

    If we have another, I would do things much differently. Yes, I would probably start out BF, but I would couple it with formula, and I would only continue to BF as long as I was comfortable with it…which I’m thinking wouldn’t be too long. ;-)

    • oh honey. don’t ever question yourself. My older son was breastfed 10 months and we just found out he has multiple food allergies. i think it’s just genetic. or something. :)

  22. aack! That last line straight up gave me CHILLS. Can’t believe you are having a baby SO soon. I’m here for you, just an email or tweet away. You’re gonna rock this!!!!

  23. I just wanted to chime in and say how much I love this post. I love the frankness of it, the honesty, the sharing of how you came to a decision. It’s well-written to boot. Thank you for recording this, and moreover, for making it available for the rest of us to read.

  24. With my first, we did a mixture of the two.
    With my second, we started out strong with the bewbs, but between supply issues, latch issues and his issues (colic) and my issues(PPD) we switched to formula after a couple months.
    With this one? I have a goal for how long I would like to breastfeed. But I’m fully aware it’s not likely to be a long term thing, and I might not make it even short-term. So we also have the bottles and everything all lined up. It’ll be what it is. And if someone else has a problem with it, they can keep it to themselves.

  25. Both of my children were bottle fed – I tried to breastfeed but really it just didn’t feel right for us. It was great to have help with them especially when I went back to school/work. I don’t regret it – both of my boys are super healthy and intelligent! The feeling of breastfeeding was so unnatural for me that I hated doing it! Thanks for your honesty in this post -and best wishes for your little one coming!

  26. I breastfed 3 kids and I did NOT love it. I never felt like it was a bonding time for us. It was a job. I bonded with them plenty. Just not while they were eating I guess. My first got a bottle right away in the hospital because he was jaundiced, so we did bottles and breast with him the whole time. The reason I’m telling you this: Because he was the only one I was ever comfortable knowing he had enough nutrients. I worried about my breastmilk and it not being healthy enough when I exclusively breastfed the other 2. The 2nd and 3rd were so skinny and to this day I wonder if my milk wasn’t good enough because they are so small. Go with your gut. There is nothing more regulated than infant formula it’s good too.

  27. I listened to the little voice this time and it made the whole thing more enjoyable.

  28. I’m happy that you are confident in your decision and have the support of your family:) Doing what’s best for your family is absolutely the healthiest thing, who needs extra tension or stress with a brand new baby?
    I breastfed my first, until I got so sick (exhaustion, pneumonia) after ending my maternity leave and going back to work. I cried that it was over, simply because I wasn’t ready and felt robbed.
    With my second, she wouldn’t nurse….I would cry because I was exhausted and we were just not getting any better at it, my milk took forever coming in and I had to do a 10hr road trip alone with a 2week old and pick up my 2year old for Christmas.She would cry because she was frustrated and hungry(among other things). I decided that bottle was the way to go, before I lost my sanity.
    I feel like women(a lot of mothers) are always so quick to tear each other down, can you imagine what the world would be like if instead we built or held each other up?

  29. Because I really really don’t want to say the wrong things, I will just comment on the one thing that really frustrated me about this post.
    I EBF.
    And I go lots of places without my baby.
    LOTS. All the time.
    I work, I do after school commitments, I go out.
    I hand my baby to my husband on a routine basis; often, when I am at my worst.
    I don’t give her every single meal. I *Create* every single meal. I do not give it.
    So I really just needed to comment on that. It’s a fallacy to make that connection.

    • I realize that it is for some people. And I didn’t talk about pumping in my post at all. But I didn’t want to be the SOURCE of all the food. I just didn’t want to do the milk out the breasts thing at all. Looking back I did not really make that clear enough.

      I think the fact that our bodies can create life and then feed that life is amazing. I also think it’s wonderful that we have the choice to not breastfeed if we don’t want to. And I just don’t want to.

      Some people have told me it was a selfish choice because it boiled down to me not wanting the “hassle”. And I guess if it was a black/white issue, that would have to explain it. But I just fall in this gray area of thinking breastfeeding is amazing, but not wanting to do it myself.

  30. I went into my 1st pregnancy saying that I wanted to try breastfeeding but if it didn’t workout that was fine. Turns out that was a lie I told myself. My daughter would not latch, no matter what we did but I kept fighting trying to get it to work. When I finally gave up breastfeeding the traditional way i opted to pump and feed her breastmilk for 9 months . . . 9 very long months.

    I drove myself nuts over this. I lost so much sleep between feeding her and then pumping. I firmly believe that this was the start of a very long battle with PPD.

    I said the same thing when I got pregnant with my second but this time it worked out (once we dealt with the whole over supply issues). The point of all of this is that I pressured myself to continue with the breastfeeding, even though it just about broke me mentally, because I felt pressured by outside sources and by myself.

    Do what is best for you and your baby . . . that is what a great mom does.

  31. YAY for you, Katie!! I knew from the start I was going to bottle feed when my #1 was born because my inner voice said breastfeeding wasn’t for me. It was so much better for me & my ppd to bottle feed and be able to hand him off when I needed a break.

    This was further validated when I had #2 and felt pressured to breastfeed. I tried and hated every minute of it. I very quickly went back to bottles and we were a happy family again.

    Great job knowing what’s best for you and doing it!

  32. Thank you for posting this. If/when I get pregnant with our second child, I’ve got a lot I want to say on this topic. I was another one who simply never wanted to breastfeed. But I fell to the pressure I was getting from friends/society and decided to “give it a shot.” After about 2-3 days, we were supplementing and after 7-10 days, I declared that I wasn’t cut out for it and gave it up altogether. Formula feeding was absolutely the best thing for me and my family for a variety of reasons.

  33. Lovely. Really touching. Glad you did what was best for you!

  34. Kate…the fact that you even had to write this post is astonishing. I am your best friend and I never asked you if you bottle/breastfeeding. I already know what I plan to do when I have a baby and I’m sure you don’t care which it is. As women and mothers there are choices and we should all support each other with the understanding that we’re just doing what we think is best for our families. With all the atrocities that are happening to children in our country, I really don’t think bottle vs. breast is a battle worth fighting. Why didn’t I ask? Why won’t you ask? BECAUSE IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER!!! Love you and miss you! Can’t wait to meet Charlie!

    • this. this is what I needed to read from you today. I miss you so much and my day was so bad and…you know somehow just when to pop up and say just the right thing. I love you, my best friend.

      And you’re right. I won’t ever ask. It never occurred to me to ask. It’s personal and up to you to choose.

      I love you.

  35. I LOVE YOU FOR WRITING THIS. I suffered from postpartum psychosis (I am bipolar, as if you couldn’t tell from my blog address) after the birth of my first child and the intense, stressful, sleep-sucking, hardestthingI’veeverdoneinmylife experience of breast-feeding him for four weeks. Then I landed in the hospital for seven days to get me back to sane with meds. I will never get back that week of his life that I missed. I felt the un-spoken pressure from EVERYONE around me to breastfeed before he was born, even though my gut was telling me to just bottle-feed him.

    When my daughter was born in Dec 2010, my husband and I knew without a doubt that we would bottle-feed (medication being the major factor, but plain old common sense being the other). Looking back on how much easier it made things, I wonder if I could have avoided that week-long hospitalization so as never having to miss out on those seven precious days.

    Hope you don’t mind if I add you to my blogroll…..looking forward to following your story. Never stop writing ~ you’re too good.

  36. Dude this is your choice.
    I chose to breastfeed. Being a nurse, I was adament about it.
    When I had to stop because of allergic reaction and steroid hell, i was totally crushed. Crushed.
    A sweet nurse on the end of the phone one frantic PPD/PPA said “Honey, it doesn’t matter where their food comes from. As long as they are thriving and they are loved, that is all that matters.”
    And with that I tossed my boobs aside and reached for the bottle.
    Is Eddie different from any breast fed baby?
    Is Chase any different?
    Hell no.
    They are as perfect as can be.
    And completely loved.
    Onward my bottle feeding friend. Onward.
    xoxo

  37. I’ve been away for a while, but am catching up on reading posts and just got through this one.

    I want to say congratulations for being brave enough to a) do what was right for you and your family despite peer pressure; b) talk about it in a blog post where you were practically guaranteed to get some backlash.

    I breastfeed my little one, but that’s because it happens to be right for *my* family.

    I hate that there is SO much divisiveness and judgment out there when there should only be support and understanding.

    So I wish you the absolute best when Charlie arrives. You are a mother who’s making educated and self-aware decisions, and that makes you one hell of a good mom!

  38. Tina McLarty says:

    You had me at “sweater puppies”.

  39. You are so smart and intuitive and wonderful. Listening to your inner voice is perfect. You are an excellent mom.

    I do want to say this. Try to hear the breastfeeding bullies’ message with love. Because for me, I dont’ breastfeed because I’m a martyr or because I have to. I breastfeed because it’s the only thing about having this kid that’s ever been easy. And – I want that for everyone else too, that sense of ease and naturalness. I want to give people the gift of the happiness I’ve found.

    The difference is, I recognize that your situations is drastically different from mine. I’m a SAHM, my husband is not as involved as yours, my ppd was never as bad as yours, and a million other differences. And even if our situations looked identical from the outside, they wouldn’t be because you are you and I am me. And it’s hard for a lot of people to see that and to respect and trust that you’ve made the right decision for YOU, just as we’ve made the right decision for us. It’s a loving, protective, and extremely misguided inclination.

    But the fact that you can trust and respect your own decision? Is amazing. It’s perfect. It’s proof that you’re doing great.

  40. Happy mom=happy baby. You have to do what will work best for you and your family. I support you 100%. With love!

  41. I tried like hell to breastfeed, I really did, but it didn’t work out for us. It hurt worse than labor and delivery and I gave birth with NO drugs. It ached from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet for 8 weeks and then I gave up. I will try to breastfeed our next child but if they end being bottle fed then so be it. You have to do what’s right for YOU, not what society says you should do. It’s as simple as that.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] these thought-provoking articles about parenting last week: Snap Judgments, Mom Judgments, and Take a Bottle. I’ll admit, I haven’t always followed my own advice, but after reading these [...]