why we already know charlie’s birthday date

Let me add the disclaimer here that this post was hard to write not because I am unsure of my decision, but because I know it is not a popular one.  But by not saying anything, I feel like I am hiding something…which I am not.  And if there is anyone else out there who is feeling ashamed for her choice?  I want to squash that shame. 

*************

We already know what day Charlie will be born on because we have decided to schedule a c-section.

Let me tell you why…

When I went into labor with Eddie (the day before his due date), I knew there was a possibility of a C-Section because I had been measuring really big, my pelvic region is narrower than most, and my tilted uterus was…well…still tilted.

But my OB, Doc VH, was determined to let my body do what God made it to do…deliver a baby vaginally.

So when we packed up and headed for the ER at 5:00am on the morning of Eddie’s due date, and I was dilated to 4.5, 80% effaced, and things were looking textbook, I got my epidural and sat back and was a dilating/effacing machine.

My nurse was sure Eddie would be there by noon.

And then he wasn’t.

Oh, I was progressing nicely, but he wasn’t.

Just before 2pm, I asked if I could push since I was starting to feel uncomfortable (and I had secretly pushed against the pressure to see if it felt better that way.  It did).

My nurse was totally gung-ho.  “Heck yes, you can!”

So away we went!

For over 2 hours.

And in that 2 hours?  Eddie refused to cooperate.  At all.

He was nine and a half pounds of huge with a head the size of a cantaloupe.  Plus he was face up.  Plus he just refused to descend any further. The harder I pushed, the more he refused…until his heart rate plummeted and went wonky from being so stubborn all the strain.

Plus all this gave me a fever of close to 105.

So at 4:30pm Doc VH made the call that we needed to get Eddie out NOW.  It was becoming WAY too dangerous…for both of us.

And so, Eddie was born at 4:51pm on his due date via c-section.

For whatever reason, one of the questions everyone who came to visit asked was, “if you have another, will you do another c-section?”

This question sort of shocked me.

For one, I was sitting there with a wound that still had staples in it and was still bleeding every now and then.  I was also sitting there with a fresh from the oven infant.

I was NOT thinking about a repeat performance of either.  I was thinking about sleep and would I ever get any.

But low and behold two and a half years later, I found myself knocked up again.

And the questions started flowing in the millisecond after I announced the pregnancy…”are you going to have a repeat c/s or go for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section)?”

I sort of avoided the question because I really didn’t know and I didn’t really want anyone’s advice. I wanted it to be decided between me, Cort, and Dr. VH.  Oh, and I asked my therapist what she thought of the plan too since I struggle with anxiety and have a history of depression and postpartum depression.

We decided not to make any calls before we got a better idea of Charlie’s growth compared to Eddie’s.

Doc VH is almost notorious for his push for VBACs–even though our hospital doesn’t do “elective VBACs”.  He would rather have a woman’s body do what it is supposed to do and only intervene if there is a definite medical emergency.

It is why I chose to stay with him as my doc after my miscarriages.  He didn’t want me to come in and get things “taken care of” in the office because he felt that my body should be given the time to finish the miscarriage process itself.

And while it was painful, I felt most comfortable with that plan too.

I should also say that Dr. VH is extremely open and honest.  This guy is a no BS dude.  He tells it like it is and sugar-coats nothing.  He lays out all possibilities, lets you make your own choice, and then gives his opinion, but will respect what you choose.

Did I mention I love my OB?

So when he explained to me that he prefers to see a VBAC in 90% of his patients, he said he wasn’t sure it would work for me, but that we would wait and see.

And wait we did.

And people just kept asking, and I just kept dodging the question.

Cort didn’t come with me to my appointment this week, but we had discussed ad nauseum at length the options before us, and he told me that it was ultimately up to me and that he would be there to support me 100% no matter how Charlie came into the world.

So this week, at 29 weeks, I was measuring at 31 weeks.  The Good Doc and I looked back at Eddie’s charts and…BOOM…same thing.

We talked about all the issues I had with Eddie.

We discussed trying a VBAC in a different hospital, possibly with a different doctor, where I wasn’t familiar with things and how that would effect my anxiety.

We discussed trying the VBAC and then ending up on the table anyway.  In a different hospital.  With a different doctor.  With unfamiliarity.  With my anxiety.

I told him I was thinking even before this talk that I wanted another c-section, but I felt bad about it.

He told me that although most women really should try a VBAC in his opinion, maybe with my physical and mental history, I should do the csection.  “After all,” he told me, “Your comfort and ease goes a LONG way in the baby’s comfort and ease when he is first placed in your arms.”

And of course, being Dr. VH, he went on for a while (forever, actually) about all the medical facts about how “back in the day” without these options, babies and women died all the time when forced to do vaginal birth. And then he mentioned something about crushed baby heads and/or ripping from crotch to butt and how we don’t have those happen anymore due to more options.   Because that is how he rolls.  He is quite nerdy and excited about medical stuff.  It’s a good quality in a doctor, in my opinion.

So before I left on Friday, we scheduled my csection.

Before we did, however, he assured me we would watch Charlie’s growth carefully and if things look more favorable this time than with Eddie, we could always cancel the csection.  But at least this way I was scheduled on a day that was for sure his surgery day and he could be there with me in an environment I am comfortable with already.

I left feeling very good about our decision.

Because it was OUR decision based on OUR personal experience and history.

And I still do.

If we have number three will I automatically go for a c/section?  I have no idea.  It will all depend on the situation.  Just like this time.

And unless anything changes drastically, Charlie will be born on March 13, 2012.

Lucky 13.

Exactly two weeks before his Momma’s birthday.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. MommySaidThis says

    Good for you! I absolutely believe this type of decision is between the parents and the trained medical professional. Only you can know what will work best for your body, health & peace of mind! Good luck!

  2. I had almost the exact story with both my kids and in no way do I regret my decision to go with a repeat c-section.

    You shouldn’t have to explain or reason through your decision to anyone except your self.

    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and with the birth!

  3. Thanks so much for posting this, as someone who was fortunate enough not to need medical intervention during childbirth, I didn’t really understand your decision for a planned c-section, but now I see that, like any mother, you doing what is best for your baby. And so long as you and Charlie remain happy and healthy, that’s really all that matters.

  4. Thank you for sharing this. I am a expecting my first one and all the choices we have to make really overwhelm me. I appreciate your honesty and courage. It brings me courage that my choices are the right choices for my baby and family

  5. I will be a repeat C-section…. after a planned first one!! I was past my due date, with a big baby, not even dialated a cm! My doctor inducing me would not fully do its job and I would end up with a c-section anyways. I knew in my heart I would too… so when she gave me the option to just jump ahead and schedule it, I did! And for me and my husband who completely lack in patients, the “get to the hospital 2 hrs early, have a baby…” was awesome! No pain for me either! All i felt was my the pain from getting stuck 4 tries in attempting to get an IV!

    So enjoy the schedule c-section!!! Its kind of really really nice!!!

  6. Awww a Pisces baby like me. Girl, you gotta do what you gotta do and what works for you might not works for others. Here’s to a smooth c-section and a speedy recovery for you 🙂

  7. Good for you! It doesn’t matter how he comes into the world, only that both mom and baby are happy and healthy!

  8. Katie, I’m proud of you for writing this post. I’m not sure I could have. It sounds like our first birth experiences were similar. And then the PPD. I am mostly recovered, emotionally, from my c/s, but the thoughts of future pregnancies and having to consider delivery options scares me so much that I don’t know if I’ll ever do it again. You’re brave for writing this & for making your own well-thought out choice. It is your body, afterall. Best of luck to you in March!

  9. I don’t get why people would give you crap about how YOU decide to have your baby. C-section, vaginally, what difference does it make as long as you are comfortable with the decision and you deliver your baby safe and soundly?

    Also? I was born 2 weeks before my Mom’s b-day in March too. (I am March 11th and my Mom is March 25th) March rocks!

  10. Sounds like a wise decision my friend! Can’t wait to meet Charlie!

  11. I think HOWEVER you come out of it with a healthy baby and momma is a WIN period. To hell with everyone else..

  12. As long as you are both healthy and happy, it is no in else’s business. My DD, my first born, wasn’t big at 7.7#, but because I was small, I ended up with a HUGE episiotomy, requiring over 40 internal and external stitches. Had I known that might happen, I would have elected a C-section. I can’t wait to meet Charlie 🙂

  13. Awesome! As long as you are both healthy. Moms have a lot of reasons for choosing to do what they do and at the end of the day (God willing) we all have a baby or two in our arms. Here’s to an easy breezy next several weeks for you and that growing boy!

    And I happened to see Erin’s comment above. Me too!!! 🙁

  14. It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into this decision and are doing what is best for you, your baby and your family. :-).

    There’s a lot to be said for a calm, happy, empowered mother.

  15. I really hope you don’t get any flack for this. After all, it’s your decision, and I think it’s a good decision.

    I had a c-section with my first, after being induced for almost 45 hours. He was only 6 lbs 10 oz too. My cervix never dilated beyond a 4, even with two doses of cervadil, my water being broken, etc. At my check up a week after my son was born, my OB told me right then and there that the next one would be a c-section. He said that some women’s bodies just aren’t cut out for vaginal deliveries, and mine was one of them.

    When I was pregnant with my second, I started contracting A LOT prior to my due date. It was more than just braxton hicks. I started to rethink my decision to have a c-section. I started to wonder if I could do it on my own. When I was checked out in triage after a full 12 hours of contractions that were visible on the monitor, I wasn’t even dilated to 1 cm. It was then that I knew that I had made the right choice. Oh, and when my second was born weighing 8 lbs. 11 oz, I REALLY knew I had made the right choice!

  16. Dude this is your choice and your choice alone.
    I’m like the honey badger…
    I don’t give a shit.
    Just get that Charlie out so I can love on him like a Aunt from another country would.
    And I want you to be comfortable in your heart and feel peace in your mind.
    You’re prepared this time.
    You’re going to be even more rockstar-ish on the ward than that chick who named her kid Blue Ivy…what was that singers name?
    Who cares.
    I’m a honey badger.
    Love you and your courage.
    Xoxo
    Ps. I’ll hand out roundhouse kicks if any judgey mcjudgeersons get all ugly up in Hizzle.

  17. Thanks so much for your post and sharing your story. I get so sad when I see women criticizing each other for their decisions on how to birth, feed, diaper, and generally care for their children. We each need to do what is right for us and our individual child. Every single one of us is in a different situation. If all children were the same, they WOULD come with manuals!!

    I love people who decide to go for a VBAC, I love people who home birth, and I love people who do c-sections.

    For me? I already know that if we ever have number 2 that we will have a c-section. My traumatic experience the first time around with B is enough to seal the deal on that for me. I know that we will be better off for it. And I know that there are others who are better off with a VBAC. I think it’s awesome that we can have options available to us and do what is best for us as individuals.

  18. Aww! I have a BFF who had major issues trying to deliver her 1st and ended up w/emergency section, too. I also watched her go through the decision making process with her baby boy. She kept asking me what I thought and I told her it was really between her and her hubby. I think she felt pressured to “perform” better and it saddened me. She thanked me for not giving her my opinion even though she asked. In the end she did the same thing you did. Talked with her doctor and hubby. Then made the decision to have another section. In the end, that’s what it comes down to. What’s best for you and your family. Sounds like you are way better prepared this time and are in a good place. Good for y’all!

  19. First of all, 13th babies are AWESOME 🙂

    Second of all, thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. Seriously! You clearly talked about this A LOT and researched your options and you know what is going to be best for you, Charlie, and your family. This gives me the bump of encouragement I’ll need when the time comes to make my next c-sec decision (although for slightly different reasons).

    You are a brave woman, putting this out there, but it’s good that you did. You aren’t alone in electing c-secs, and NO ONE should feel bad about whatever choice they make to safely bring a baby into the world.

  20. It really shouldn’t matter to anyone how your baby comes into this world as long as it is a safe and healthy delivery. It sounds like you are making the right decision when it comes to Charlie’s birth.

    I really wish I wold have had your OB when I was pregnant with my son. I tried so hard to schedule his delivery because of how fast my daughter was born. He kept blowing me off. We did make it to the hospital with some time to spare with my son, but it was still scary.

  21. Tuesday’s child is full of grace… let’s hope he is, however he arrives, as long as he gets here safely xx

  22. Good for you to make an informed decision about your body, your baby, and your limitations given the past…had the same thing happen to a friend and it’s very scary. Yay for a peace of mind!

  23. There will always be a lot of people wanting to give opinions.

    But there will only be one Charlie.

    And you’re his mama.

    You know what to do.

  24. However Charlie gets here, the important thing is that he gets here with everyone as healthy and happy as possible. I’m glad you made a decision that feels right for you, and I am glad you have the support of the people around you.

    People that feel differently need to butt out 🙂

    You explained this so eloquently and carefully; it’s obvious your decision was made with thought and consideration, and I’m so glad you shared it with us! xo

  25. Your first birth experience sounds very similar to mine!! I pushed for 3 hours after being in induced labor for 60hrs… she came out via c-sec weighing nearly 10lbs and I wondered where the hell they pulled that 3month old baby from! My 2nd was a scheduled c-section, 2 1/2 weeks before her due date, and she was still over 7lbs. Everything about the delivery and post-recovery was SO much better. You need to do what’s best for you & your body. I don’t believe you will regret this decision ONE bit!!! Cheers to you!

  26. I think it’s great you know. If anyone judges you, just remind them it’s not like you’re renting an ENTIRE FLOOR of a hospital and displacing anyone other than evicting the baby in your uterus.

    Awesome post.

  27. I had a c section since Lily was a frank breech, butt first… I would do a c section again in a heartbeat. You weighed the options, you did the research, this is not a snap descision… Smart girl 😉

  28. As long as the baby and mother are born healthy and happy, it really doesn’t matter. I had a wonderful “textbook” labor and delivery. I consider myself very lucky. This time around I am scared to death to do it again. At least you know this time what to expect and how to handle your body and needs in advance. Good luck to you and at the end of the day, you’ll have another awesome baby no matter how it came out!

  29. I rarely talk about how Darling Girl was born because she was a planned c-section. I hate the flack I get from some people about it. It’s like I should have tried harder to MAKE her turn head down or something. She was frank breech and she wasn’t moving. I don’t regret the decision we made to have the c-section, but I do hate the stupid people getting all up in my business about it. I think I’ve mentioned before about my MIL telling me that our child would be mentally retarded if born by c-section. Thanks for the support. 🙁

    It wasn’t a decision that was made lightly. It never is. You know what you’re doing, your husband knows what you’re doing and that’s all that matters.

    Also? I suppose I better get off my lazy butt and mail your present… 😉

  30. Good for you for having the courage to share YOUR decision! Anyone who doesn’t like it can suck it! I am always amazed by the sheer number of people who think they have a right to criticize another person’s choice especially when it comes to one’s own body. I can tell you from experience a scheduled c/s is a walk in the park. Seriously I think it is the BEST way to have a baby. For me it was the easiest emotionally and physically. My first was induced vaginal delivery (due to size and due date) with vacuum extractor required. Second was an ER c/s after 6 weeks of preterm labor and bed rest. #3 was scheduled c/s and it was like checking into a resort. My ob and I never considered a VBAC…the risks were too high.

  31. I was so surprised to read that you got flack for your choice. I also had a planned c-section the second time. My first ended in an emergency c-section after 19 hours of labor and little progression. The main things are that you and Charlie are safe and healthy and that you are comfortable with your decision.

    I totally support you!

  32. Lucky 13 indeed!!

    And for the record, this decision is for you, Court and your doctor ONLY! Everyone else can #$&^ off. 🙂

  33. If anyone gives you crap about this decision, then I’d say they don’t have your best interest in mind; only their agenda.

  34. Thank you for writing this. It probably took a lot of courage.

    I really don’t understand why people judge others in this way. They can only judge if they’ve been there, which means not a single person should be judging you because no one was in your shoes 2.5 years ago except you.

    I had a similar birth story. Every single GYN I’ve ever had says that I have the narrowest pelvis they’ve ever seen. For the most part I never paid any attention to it, that along with my tilted uterus. Until my first OB appointment where I was told I would probably need a c-section if the baby was over 7lbs. Still I didn’t really listen. I went ahead and planned for a natural, unmedicated birth. When I went into labor my boy was sunny-side-up and I went through 10 hours of back labor, stuck at 4cm. I got an epidural because they thought it would relax me and I would progress. I did… to 6 cm. Then it stopped. I actually regressed back to 4cm (yes, it’s possible, apparently) and then I started hemorrhaging (apparently the placenta was tearing away from the uterus). Within 10 minutes I was on the operating table. I started having a panic attack and they almost had to put me under to get me to be still so they could operate. It was only by the grace of my great anesthesiologist who calmed me down with kind words (and pumped me with drugs) that I was semi-conscious for the birth of my 8.5lb son.

    I’m not pregnant with my second yet, but we’re thinking about it. It’s taken me a long time to get over my experience. I’ve never felt guilty, but it was quite traumatic. I am a big advocate for natural birth and VBACs. However I really do not know if I could do it again. I don’t know if I could keep my anxiety at bay both during the birth and the weeks leading up to it. Because there is a good chance it may turn out the same way anyway, and that chance scares the crap out of me. So much so that for awhile I was terrified of getting pregnant again.

    You are not taking the easy way out. I don’t know about you, but recovering from major abdominal surgery wasn’t fun. You’re not making the choice out of laziness or vanity. You’re doing it because you have to think about what’s best for your babies and your health. Do not let others put you down for making the right choice for you. They just don’t know.

    Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me feel better about all the debate I have with myself inside my head about having a second c-section.

  35. Good for you! I ha an EMCS with my first and was totally torn about what to do the second time around, the c section was offered but I kept arguing with myself about what was best for us. I ended up going 12 days over, going into labour, baby was in distress, I had threatened scar rupture so was taken in for another EMCS. I wish I had had the chance to experience a calmer birth and I think an elective section could have given me that. My kids and I are all here and safe and that’s the important thing. Well done for posting this xx

  36. We all have a vision of what that day is going to be like. But your health and Charlie’s health are most important. After having an emergency c-section with Brady, who was 9lbs. 7ounces, my OB gave me a choice. And honestly, I did not hesitate. I scheduled a repeat c-section. I did not want the agony of pushing and the possibly physical damage that occurred with Brady. The exhaustion of trying to deliver vaginally and then the stress of the c-section was a lot to recover from physically but also emotionally.
    Plus, I had a 2 year old who needed to be cared for and with a date scheduled we were able to plan for that which lowered my anxiety about being away from him for four days.
    I know people say we were made to give birth, but the reality is that for some of us (you and I) it is just harder and in my case almost impossible w/o serious consequences.
    Know that I get this and am willing to listen or process anytime you want to gab about it!

  37. So excited for Chawee to get here! Who cares how?! Just listen to what you and your doctors have decided is the best decision! With my son’s delivery, nothing went to plan. It was a disaster. I’m glad that you have thought about things so carefully.

  38. I am so glad that you and your doctors were able to come to a decision that you are at peace with. Wishing you a peaceful and wonderful delivery.

  39. Girl, I think it is great that you talk about this and help women know that it is their decision. People feel the need to get involved with these decisions for some reason – it really is your family’s and, as long as the baby remains healthy, it’s the right one no matter what you do!

  40. Hi! Cheers for you, cheers for women being able to choose their birth and how to feed their children! So much pressure to “have the perfect birth” and to do things “correctly.” Much luck, Kathy

  41. I did the exact same thing with my second child and it worked out beautifully. I support you 100%! You are going to have a beautiful new baby and it doesn’t matter one bit how he (he, right?) comes into the world. Healthy mom, healthy baby, that’s all that matters. And if anyone gives you trouble, send them to me.

  42. Charlie, of course! I love his name. XO

  43. I don’t mind the idea of c-sections, and I know lots of people who have had all c-sections (and only one who had a successful VBAC). I try to avoid them because I hate recovering from surgery, myself. lol What I don’t particularly like is the scheduling. Even if I knew I was going to have to have a c-section when the time came, I think I’d let the time come and go into labor. My friends in Ohio have no choice; they’re not allowed to be induced or schedule c-sections like we do here in Indiana (unless its a medical emergency). It’s some sort of state law, which is weird to have on the books.

  44. The decision is made between you,hubby and doctor. Everyone will have their own opinion on it. You did what you needed to do. I say if it’s endangering you or the baby or both then you need to do it. I have no problem with women having c sections.

  45. Sarah Partain says

    It’s good to be educated and go from there. I’m glad you made your decision based on how you feel, and no one else. And from what I hear, there are percentages based on previous deliveries that help you know if you’re a good VBAC candidate–I wouldn’t have tried a VBAC if my percentage had been lower. What a fun birthday, too! I hope it all continues to go well!!

  46. Good for you.

    People / women need to stop shaming each other for their decisions. They should be ashamed of themselves.

    Oh. Wait. What did I do there?

    Good luck on your scheduled c-section [A friend had one and LOVED it.]

  47. How you choose to bring your baby into the world, is entirely your choice and no one has a right to say otherwise.

    As long as he’s born safe and healthy, and YOU are safe and healthy, that’s what matters.

    Just 2 more months!!!

  48. To me, this sounds like a no-brainer. There are great medical reasons for scheduling a c-section. You have one. Send your critics to me. I’ll take care of ’em for ya. 😉

  49. I don’t get why anyone should care how another person gives birth. I had a repeat c section and didn’t care what people thought. With my first son, he ended up actually crowning but h

  50. Good for you for making a choice that’s right for you. And shame on anyone who attempts to question your motives or the appropriateness of this choice.

    I had two babies, both induced. My first, because he was late and big and my fluid was low, and my second because I wasn’t even close to dilation during my final weeks, felt I’d be put in the same situation, and yes – I was in nursing school and had to be able to test a week after her due date.

    We didn’t tell anyone, we just checked into the hospital and called when I started progressing. It wasn’t anyone’s business how our babies got into this world.

  51. Stupid phone. As I was saying, DS crowned but his shoulders were stuck and so I ended up with a 2nd degree tear AND the c section. Hell know was I going through that again.
    Recovering from my 2nd c/s was a breeze and my cousin who elected to do a VBAC said she wishes she had done a repeat too. At the end of the day all that matters is that you are both healthy and happy! Good Luck!
    And that is my brother birthday and a great day to be born!

  52. Sounds like you made the right decision for you and your family. Good luck with everything 🙂

  53. I hated my C-Section. I am trying my hardest not to have another one and am pushing for a VBAC this time. That’s why I’m using midwives (along with the perinatal team) even though I’m considered high risk.

    That said, I hated mine because it was an emergency after striving for an all natural (super crunchy hippie LOL) birth. I hated mine because it happened at 30 weeks instead of 40 and all the stress that came from it wasn’t the norm.

    I have SO many friends that are opting for second C-Sections because they had traumatic first births as well, but for different reasons. Like you, they had long labors that ended with emergency surgery, and they didn’t want to repeat that. I can completely understand, even though I stand firmly on the other side of the fence….for myself only!

    Good for you for knowing what your body can handle and what your psyche needs. I can’t imagine trying to go through what you went through the last time…only in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces. Your OB sounds like an amazing doctor, and you are well informed of your options. Feel good about your decision to make sure you come home with a healthy baby and a healthy mind.

  54. I think it’s awesome you made an informed decision. I have my 1st and he was 9lbs 9oz, my hips never spread, and they said if you birth him you will either break your hip or his collar bone. Ooookkkay csection it is. I hated that I never had some great wonderful birth story. But you know what, it took me a lot of years, 4 miscarriages and 2 marriages to get the boys I have, and I didn’t care what it took! I think I could have had a VBAC, he was 2 months earlier and 7lbs 13oz, had he been full term he would have been over 10 lbs. So while it was an emergency thing that he come out ASAP, I didn’t care if it was a VBAC or a csection as long as he was healthy! 5 days in the NICU, he’s now 3 and although he has some serious asthma issues, he’s here and when it comes down to it, that’s all that matters!

    So good luck with your repeat csection, I think it’s an excellent decision!

  55. Hold your head high, my friend. You are doing what you feel is right.

    It’s sad that we have to applaud your bravery (and I do)for sharing your perspective. It’s sad that we still have to worry how people will judge our parenting choices.

    I had an elective C with #2. #1 was vaginal, but just barely. I have a tipped uterus and grow giant babies. #1 was almost 9 pounds when I went into labor 3 weeks early. I had the vacuum procedure. It was horrific. I tore with an episiotomy. It made me not want to have another kid. It damaged my early relationship with my son and sent me into PPD land.

    My OB said I was a perfect candidate for elective C with #2… And that is what we agreed on from the start.
    Then she came 5.5 weeks early and I had to choose again… She was small enough to deliver vaginally (but still big…6 lbs at 34.5 weeks!).

    I went ahead with the C. It was the best experience. I recovered so fast. I was in a good place emotionally. I got closure on that really scary and painful first birth experience. It healed me. I don’t have a single regret nor do I wonder “should I have tried vag?”

    You follow your gut. Your doc sounds totally in tune with who you are and that is a true blessing.

  56. You’re certainly not committed to a C-Section. And it sounds like you trust yourself and your doctor to do what is best for Charlie. If a VBAC works out? YAY! If not? YAY!

    YOU’LL HAVE A BABY!

  57. So happy for you! It seems like no matter what a woman chooses these days, there’s a line of people ready to tell her she’s doing the wrong thing. I’m so proud of you for being solid in your decision, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a c-section. What’s most important that is that your bay comes into the world safely and your both happy and healthy. I’m so excited for you! (March 13 is an awesome day to be born, BTW. It’s worked out quite well for me so far. 🙂

  58. Your doc sounds like a kick ass kind of guy!

  59. There seem to be crowds around key topics online – “all natural childbirth” or death mob, the VBAC crew, the breastfeeding nazis, the “stand on your head and puke the baby up” militia, the “any woman who doesn’t take an epidural is crazy” gang.

    Um, I might have made one of those up . . . but I’m not sure sure.

    All I want to scream is “people have to do what is best for them, and don’t you dare judge anyone that you don’t know.” But, well, there’s too much screaming online, anyway.

    What I will say is, if you’re happy with the decision, then you’ve made the right decision.

  60. I had almost the exact situation as you with Peanut – she was only 6 pounds, though. After 3 hours of pushing a c-section was necessary for her to come out healthy. My ob/gyn (who I trusted so, so much) cautioned me against trying for a vbac. If my pelvic opening was to small to fit a 6 lb baby, anything larger certainly won’t work. Bravo to you for sharing!

  61. good for you Katie, in doing what is right for you, for Charlie, for your family. a healthy baby (& momma!) are all that matters – not how he comes into the world! My sister SO needs to read this, she had an emergency C-section with my niece (Charli!) just over two years ago and up until the last week or so was convinced she was going to try for a VBAC – but now she’s rethinking that decision… reminders of Char’s cord being wrapped around her neck & tummy… the collapsed lungs at birth… the days in NICU, they all terrify her that if this baby has any of the same issues, a vaginal birth could be very scary, and bad… she’s afraid (as anyone would be!) and while she does have a scheduled C-section date, it’s 3 days after her due date, and now she’s afraid of going into labor on her own before the section – as she never went into labor with Char… anyway, she needs to read this. I think it would help her be more at peace about making the decision final… I’m definitely sharing it with her. *hugs* to you lady.

  62. I think the difference between an unplanned c-section and a planned one is HUGE. My first (and only thus far) was a planned c-section (breech) and I know if I had to have one after I had my heart set on a natural birth it would have devastated me. So going in and knowing the outcome I think will be so great for you.

    No matter how you have this baby, I think it’s wonderful that you have done so much soul searching and asked yourself the hard questions. You will do great! Much luck to you.

  63. You know I scheduled my c-section with number 2 and it was GREAT! If anyone gives you a hard time tell them to jump in a lake. If I have a #3 it will be a scheduled c-section again too. I love me a schedule and so do you so go with it girl!

  64. I’m so glad you posted this & Rusti shared it with me! Like she said, I had an emergency c-section 2 years ago bc I was 5 days over, I had ZERO fluid, the cord was wrapped around Charli’s neck & chest and I couldn’t dilate past a 2! I actually fought my Dr for 12 hours bc I didn’t want a c-section….I wanted to deliver vaginally bc Rusti made it look SO easy…when I found out Charli wasn’t breathing,I felt like the biggest piece of crap mother in the world! Had I just said yes, my baby wouldn’t have had 2 collapsed lungs or spent 3 days in NICU, I struggled with that for a really long time, I still do actually! This time, Dr said I’m a perfect candidate for a VBAC so I jumped on board, I wanted to prove to myself that I was able to do it….up until my 36th week that is! What if I have the same problems this time? What if my uterus scar ruptures and it kills me or the baby? What if a million different things? So, I scheduled a c-section for 3 days AFTER my due date…its kinda dumb, defeats the purpose a little, but its the 15th anniversary of my grandma’s death and I want to give my family happy memories on this day too. BUT, now I’m scared as hell that I’m going to go into labor before that day and I won’t know what to do!

    Thank you for this post, it makes me feel better knowing that other people struggle with this decision too! I’ve got 20 more days until my c-section….let’s hope baby stays in there as I have NO clue what its like to go into labor and am fine with not ever finding out!

  65. LOVE!

  66. Aww… that’s a few days after Cole’s birthday! Yay!
    It’s so interesting to see a different doctor’s perspective. While I still think we’re done having babies, when I have the “what if” days, I remember my OB telling me that I would probably need another c-section if we had another (now, that was when we thought my head might be screwed up so maybe that’s what she meant.) But so often I see that doctors automatically assume you’ll have another c-section that your doctor using the term “elective c-section” is different. Not bad! Just different. Sort of nice that there are other options and women who like their OBs.
    Oh hell, I don’t know where I’m going with this comment, (c-sections have just really been on my mind lately) other than to say that I’m glad you have a great support system, and a decision your comfortable with and in almost 2 months Charlie will be here!!! YAY!!

  67. Your OB sounds as awesome as my OB! I ended up having to have a C-section with S, too, and wanted to do a VBAC with Baby R, but to avoid the long story in the comments, ended up with a second C. The only downside is that I won’t be able to do a VBAC for a 3rd baby. I have to say that the second C was MUCH easier than the first. It’s like my body just knew how to recover. I was dreading it, but it was so much less stressful in every way. Though my babies like to stay in the warm and cozy oven and are always late. But Baby R also has a 13th bday. Friday no less. Just like her Mama. 🙂

  68. I had a csection with my first because she was breech & my ob did not want to try version. I had gestational diabetes. ODD was 9 lbs 3 oz. I also waited to decide with YDD. She was measuring big & I was being monitored for GD again. She was born via scheduled csection on 10/10/10 & she was 8 lbs 11 oz. It was the best choice for me & my child. Thank you for sharing your story.

  69. This is why modern medicine is so amazing (and why great doctors are so valuable). It sounds like you’ve made a very thoughtful decision. Wishing you all the best and can’t wait to see pictures of the little guy!

  70. Hi there – I wanted to mention that I write a blog for my mental health practice centered around marriage, motherhood and mental health. I am a big advocate of mamas, babies & families, but I get alot of flack for my views about baby sleep & feeding methods (I think there is a broad range of normal) and the one I got the most flack over (it is not in the comments but it was on FB) was about Dr Sears and then one about Dr. Karp. It was a weird feeling and I had to stop being part of some groups as I was so surprised by the close-mindedness that was there. It saddened me alot as I felt other women were being judged so harshly and other opinions judged so harshly really for no reason at all. The truth is there is a broad range of normal parenting (of course which is not abusive) in which a baby/child can grow and feel secure, but there seems to be an awful lot of ppl out there who think there is only one way. http://birthtouch.com/2011/10/infant-sleep-methods-part-five-%E2%80%93-dr-sears/

Trackbacks

  1. […] Katie’s post today over at Sluiter Nation also left me with a little more comfort. […]

  2. […] Go read them! They are awesome! Jill from Baby Rabies wrote about crying it out, Suzanne from Bebeh Blog wrote about weaning off breast feeding, and Katie from Sluiter Nation wrote about choosing to have a repeat c-section. […]

  3. […] of all, I had no idea when I posted about my decision to have another C-section that others would be posting about potential controversial subjects too and that tempers would roar […]

  4. […] is the post where Katie from Sluiter Nation talked about having a planned cesarean, and reading that something just kind of clicked. Here is the adorable results. April is Cesarean […]