a golden state

You are the hole in my head
I am the pain in your neck

One of us likes to make a list and check things off as quickly as possible…has a “if it’s going to get done, I have to do it” attitude.

One of us likes to make a list and hopefully get to things when the time and money is right.

One of us is afraid to nag.

One of us needs reminding, but hates nagging.

One of us holds it in until it bursts into rude nagging.

One of us hates feeling like a scolded child.

You are the lump in my throat
I am the aching in your heart

I reached out to you this week.  Everything was catching up and blinding me and pressing on my chest.

You told me to breathe.

You told me, “Everything is ok, baby.  We run this shit.”

You made me laugh.

Hand-holding.

Back rubbing.

Stolen kisses.

Tissues handed to you during a funeral service.

Random hugs that make Eddie run to join in.

We are tangled
We are stolen
We are living where things are hidden

I share a lot here in this space, but I also keep certain things ours.

The things that are too special.

The things that are too damning.

The things that are too petty.

The things that are too ours.

You are something in my eye
And I am the shiver down your spine
You are the lick of my lips
And I am on the tip of your tongue

The “guys” give you a hard time because you always say you have to “check with Kate.”

I know I’d rather be “in” with you than “out” without you.

You admitted in your vows that being lazy with me is the way you see your forever.

My safe place is your arms.

We are luck
We are fate
We are the feeling you get in the golden state
We are love
We are hate
We are the feeling I get when you walk away
Walk away

Your grandma, newly widowed, said this week, “My best friend is gone.  I have no one to talk to anymore”.

Her children exclaimed, “that’s not true!  You have us!”

She shook her head, “it’s not the same”.

She is right it is not the same.

After 63 years of marriage…of rehashing and giggling and discussing each night before bed, over dinner, in a quiet moment stolen away from the kids, in the car after an event…something grows. Something more than a marriage is made.

You are the dream in my nightmare
I am that falling sensation
You are not needles and pills
I am your hangover morning

We are tangled
We are stolen
We are living where things are hidden

Our friendship started many years before our marriage did.

There are times when I look around at this life we are living and giggle in awe.

I would have never ever guessed YOU were my forever…

That we would create this…

That I could be this lucky.

That we would be living in a golden state.

*Lyrics by Eddie Vedder from the song “The Golden State”

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. So incredibly sweet! I have tears…..

  2. I want the vlog version

  3. Such a beautiful post. I love posts about the special bond of love

  4. That was so sweet, Katie. You guys really share something special.

  5. This post makes me all smiley 🙂

  6. Thanks for MAKING ME CRY! 😉
    I’m getting married next month and I found this post very inspiring .. The kind if marriage I hope , KNOW , we will have as well. Thanks for a great post.

  7. This is simply a beautiful post. You have an amazing talent for writing. I’m a fairly new reader, but I have really enjoyed reading your blog. 🙂

  8. What you have is so special.
    The two of you.

    Soon to be the four of you.
    So. Very. Special.

    And your narrative interspersed with lyrics here?
    Is just perfect.

    Cheers to this kind of love. To the Golden State.
    To living your dream come true.

    Always.

  9. I love the way you’re intermixing the lyrics with “you.” And just how personal this post is.

  10. My grandpa and grandma made it just a few months passed their 60th…when he passed, my grandma was so lost…her soul left with him that day. No matter how much we loved on her, she was never the same. She passed exactly one year and one day after my grandfather did.
    You and Cort are beautiful together.
    You bend and flex and work together when times are good and in bad.
    xoxo

  11. This is so sweet, Katie. I am sad about your grandma. Wishing you all peace.

  12. Beautiful.

    I want that song! I can’t find it on iTunes…. any ideas?

  13. Oh darn you! You made me cry in Starbucks. That’s just about the most beautiful thing I’ve read in ages. What a big and wonderful love.

  14. This post is perfection. Seriously one of my favorites ever from you 🙂