no idea

Today is Monday, December 12.

The first day of my maternity leave will be Monday, March 12.

Three months.

This thing is getting real, you guys.

I have gone from “we’re having a baby in March” to “Charlie will be here in three months.”

I don’t know what it was this weekend that slapped reality in my face.  Maybe it was the joy of welcoming my seven-month old nephews to the family.  Maybe it was watching videos with Eddie from when he was a baby. Maybe it was comparing Eddie’s photo with Santa from last year to the one we just took this year.

Whatever it was, the real-ness of Charlie started swirling in my head last night before bed.

A pile of conflicting emotions took over my heart.

Excitement. Joy. Grief. Anxiety.

Eddie’s time as my one and only is limited.

This is both exciting and depressing to me at the same time.

Yesterday Eddie and I were listening to music in his room and he was showing off his dance moves.  He kept choosing stuffed animals to dance with him.  Then he asked me if “Baby Cha-wee yikes to dance.”  I told him yes, and asked if he would teach him his moves someday.  He very excitedly said, “YEAH!”

Eddie is going to be a great big brother.

But I know I will miss him being my one and only.

And he will miss being the one and only.

He knows what babies are all about.  There are two at daycare.

He tells me how they sleep and cry and eat bottles.

He knows.

But he has no idea.

We know what babies are all about.  We had one, remember?

But we have no idea.

Charlie will be here in three months.

A brotherly bond will form from hugs and snuggles and jealously and competition and having each other backs.

A family bond will form through trips and trials and joys and hugs and dinners and arguments and time outs.

We know Charlie will be here in three months.

But we have no idea.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. I feel ya. While our boy was keeping me up last night I was thinking about some of the same things. I’m scared and nervous about having a toddler and a baby, but I know it will be good 🙂

  2. This is such an exciting and scary time. You are going to do great. It’ll all come back to you. Promise.

  3. Mine are 5 years apart. I truly had no idea. 🙂 My first one was perfect. But two? Oh, two is twice as perfect. I cannot wait for you. So excited.

    Not to spam up your comments, but reading this compelled me to go back and read THIS, which I wrote about going from one to two: http://www.nearnormalcy.com/2011/09/wordless-wednesday-dont-get-used-to-it.html. Seriously not fishing for clicks, just thought you might appreciate it. 🙂

  4. you can do it!! you are a great mama!

  5. There are 3 yrs 9 months between my girls. The transition from one to two went much more smoothly than I anticipated. My big girl adores the baby. It is her job o undo the diaper tabs and thrw the dirty diaper away for EVERY diaper change. And heaven forbid I forget, she is crushed. Things are settling down, 6 months in, and she no longer demands to hold her baby 18 times per day.

    You can do it! And you’ll be so glad you did.

  6. You got it. You don’t have any idea. But you will soon. And oh man, Katie. It’s just so good. So so so good. You’ll see in three months 🙂

  7. I felt this way by the end of my pregnancy…like I had wanted it for so long and then it was coming and I felt soooo unprepared even after 4 yrs of waiting. I think we all feel that way….

    it’s going to be Awesome and incredible and heartwarming and mind numbing and you’ll come here and write all about it so we can all live it right beside you and it won’t seem so scary or unfocused.

    either way March is going to a truly miraculous month for you. xo

  8. I love that Eddie & Chawee yike to boogie!

  9. I’m seriously terrified and filled with guilt. Mine will have almost exactly 3 years between them. Really really really hoping that Alexa isn’t too upset about not being an only anymore. I have had some nights where I want to rewind the clock and undo it all because….my one is so awesome…whatever did I do to upset this balance??????

  10. ah, yes. the unknown. You guys will do great. It will be so so so hard and so so so sweet. enjoy eddie until it physically hurts.

    🙂