register that

When I was pregnant with Eddie I spent hours asking people about what baby products they loved.  Strollers, pack n plays, swings, bounce seats, bottles, carriers, car seats.  My list of questions was endless.

I researched and compared reviews on web sites.  Polled facebook.  Asked friends with kids.  Took lots and LOTS of notes.

And then Cort and I went to Babies R Us and registered.

I heard horror stories about husbands losing their minds and wives yelling and crying and everyone just being totally overwhelmed.

We did it in record time.

There were no tears and only one bathroom break.

By the end when we were in the changing table pad aisles, we were sick of it, but it didn’t matter because we were done.

And then came the showers.  There may have been quite a few of them.  Ok there may have been six.  What?

Anyway, when I look back at the blog back then (when I had about 2 regular readers and only one commenter…love you missy!), I can remember how our whole world was preparing for Eddie.

It was so exciting!

Fastforward to present day.

I am over halfway through the gestation of my next son, and I haven’t done nearly as much “prepping”.

Part of that is because we have almost everything already.  Another part is that the guesswork is sort of gone.  I haven’t been reading books and checking products because I already know what is happening and what will happen.

That first time excitement is gone.

This past week I realized I wasn’t talking to Charlie liked I talked to Eddie.

Because I am still talking to Eddie.

And I haven’t been planning out a nursery.

Because we have one.  And I am planning out a Big Boy room.

And I am not washing itty bitty clothes.

Because I have no where to put them once they are clean.

We have gotten one new thing just for Charlie–a Detroit Tigers onsie– and it was a gift from an aunt.

I keep telling myself that we just don’t need anything new, but somehow Mom Guilt sets in.

Will this be how it is for him always?  The second boy, always just getting hand-me-downs?

So I did something that some people think is selfish and ridiculous.  I started a baby registry. (UPDATED: I learned about this too, so now I have a wish list for Charlie too.  Thanks, Emily)!

Oh yes I did.

There are only 24 items on the list, and some are for Eddie, but I wanted Charlie to have some new things.  Especially things I didn’t know about when I had Eddie.  Like a miracle blanket and this sleeper that could help with reflux, or just to fit next to the bed in the night (we have VERY limited space in our room).

There are also pants on there because Charlie will be born in March, and while I have a boatload of onsies, Eddie was born in 100 degree June heat.  And had a tendency to sweat and get heat rash.  I am guessing bare legs in a onsie will not be so comfy for wee little Charlie.

There are other things I wish I could register for from places like etsy.  Things I want to try that I didn’t know about when I had Eddie.

For instance I want to try babywearing this time around and would love to get a Moby wrap.

I want to make a conscience effort to not just hand stuff down to Charlie, but to remind him that he is special and unique.

So I registered.

Not because we will be having any showers this time, but because we just cannot afford to go out and buy many new things except diapers and wipes and people want to know what we could use.

What do you think?  Is it selfish and outlandish to register with the second baby?

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. It isn’t selfish at all.

    After all, it will be Charlie’s first birth.

  2. No, not selfish…AND I think you should have a shower…or 2!

  3. With my second boy, we did a Baby Sprinkle. It wasnt as big as a shower, and I only invited about 10 or so people. They brought diapers, wipes, clothes, and toys. I didnt need any of the big stuff so I didnt register for it. I think every baby should be celebrated–whether it is the first or the fourth. I agree with Renee–it is Charlie’s first birth!

  4. I agree with you…your second son should have his own things..It was easier for me because my first was a girl and my second a boy..I was justified on doing a registry but I had a few neutral items that I plan on using.

  5. I don’t think it’s selfish at all. I agree with Jessica that every baby should be celebrated … and plus, if someone doesn’t want to buy off your registry they don’t have to!

  6. I don’t think it is selfish. There will be people in your life who want to buy gifts for Charlie (shower or not) and it will be great for them to know what you need and want.

  7. Do I think its selfish? No. That said, I personally wouldn’t register if I were to have another girl within the first few years of Evelyns life, nor would I expect a shower any gifts aside from little things from my closest friends. But all of Evelyns stuff (like cloth diapers) will be easy to reuse. But if those you love are going to throw you a party, then a registry just makes it easier! 🙂

  8. Every baby deserves to be celebrated and showered with gifts, end of story.

  9. I was told by my mother that under no circumstances should I register and that I would not get a second shower and that I should not expect gifts. And that’s exactly what happened. It was really hurtful.

    Looking back, I wish I hadn’t listened to her. There were things we needed (especially since #1 was a boy and #2 was a girl) that we ended up having to buy ourselves. I think if I had done a registry, I may have gotten a few things we really needed, which would have helped us so much.

    I say go for it. Charlie deserves a celebration too.

  10. I had a registry when I found out baby girl was on her way. I mostly did it so that if family/friends wanted to get a gift it would be easy. Plus, we started over! The big stuff was the only stuff I could reuse since we had Brayden. It’s definitely not selfish!

  11. I have no problem with registries for second, third, ect babies. I particularly love it when the mom does a registry on sites like myregistry.com, where they can add things from any site, (like Etsy). Even I I don’t follow the registry exactly, I’ll know what the baby needs, like pants, in your case.

    That being said, this 4th kid of mine will be lucky to have a name, let alone his own gear. Yeah, that’s on my to-do short list.

    • ooo! is myregistry.com how you did that one for Casey? I sort of want to do one of those, but I didn’t know how. I’ve just been pinning cute stuff for Charlie on pinterest 🙂

      I think when/if we get to a fourth, we will be happy if the child has a name too! 🙂

  12. I’ve started a registry for Duckie, because even though we have a TON of stuff from Goose – if this next one is a boy, we’re definitely going to need some stuff. All our gear is neutral, as Goose’s gender was a surprise (to me!) and we have quite a few newborn & 0-3 outfits (okay, sleepers) that are neutral… BUT – there are a few things I didn’t have with Goose that I would love (for instance, like you – a MOBY!) I had a carrier for Goose, but it wasn’t that convenient for much babywearing, just for grocery shopping, etc. and the bottles we have? started leaking like CRAZY the last few months, I still have no clue what kind to get for the next kid! I’d also like to try cloth diapering this time around – as I was talked out of it last time… I also have some items that are more focused on Goose – like certain safety locks (toilet lock anyone??) and other items that would definitely be helpful to have for her, but I’m not planning to have any showers, or even advertise the registry this go-round, I’ll just have it available if anyone asks 🙂 and if no-one does, at least I’ll remember what things I was looking to add on all in one place 🙂

    • did you use avent bottles? they made an adapter thingy to fix the leaking. that is on our registry 🙂

      And yeah, even if NO ONE uses the registry, at least I will have a list of the stuff we need. Because lord knows my pregnant brain can’t remember it all! 🙂

      • nope, the Playtex VentAire – they had the little rubber vent in the bottom and the angled neck, they started leaking from the BOTTOM, holy cow – first time that happened with a bottle full of pumped milk I about had a fit! Goose had major reflux issues so they worked best for her in keeping her from getting too much air… I have no clue where to go next in my search for bottles!! EEEK. you used Avent? how well did you like them?

        • we really liked the advent ones. They started leaking around the seal when we would shake them (we used formula) and it would drive you NUTS at 3am to get a hand (and jammy) full of milk. But my friend who just had twins clued me into the adapters (they also used advent with their boys) and it seals them up nicely. Eddie was a SUPER fussy eater and the advent bottles/nipples were all he would take.

        • Randomly poking my nose in to say that we used Avent bottles too. I loved them! I liked that I could get them in 4oz size which was a nice even size for a newborn. Plus I liked their chunky little shape. I’m weird. Whatever. Darling Girl loved them and they were the only ones she would take.

          I never noticed ours leaking. I’ll have to ask my mom if hers did. Interesting!

  13. There are things that you’re going to need. Some you may not have gotten with Eddie. Some things Eddie destroyed and you need replaced…so no, I don’t think it’s selfish.

  14. I agree with Elle… every baby deserves a few presents. And a registry is just a way to let people know what it is you really need and want… and a way to remember it all! 🙂

    Also! If you register with Amazon you can put EVERYTHING on there using thier “add to wishlist” thing – even stuff from etsy, toys r us, any site! (it works like the pinterest “pin it” button thing for your toolbar.)

  15. It’s not outlandish . . . but, well, it’s a lot of stuff – and if it’s stuff you don’t need, why bother? You know people love you and want to show you – but why not have them stop by and clean your kitchen a week or two after Charlie is born, rather than getting a stroller.

    That guilt you’re feeling, though . . . well, I never found a way to kick it.

  16. I think it is a great idea! People really do want to get what you want or need.

  17. We did a registry because my mother was planning a shower. My family thinks that all babies should be celebrated, as do I! My mother was unable to make it to my first, along with one of my best friends, so they worked together to throw my second. A “sprinkle” really.

    Like you, there were some things that we wanted/needed for the second that we didn’t get for the first (or didn’t exist 3 years ago). I also wanted to have a place for everyone to check if they cared to buy a gift. Some people will be turned off by it, but the ones that want to shop like having some direction. I know I do when I shop for friends!

    All that said, the registry was small and didn’t include any clothes since we already have a ton. Both babes have the same birthday/due date time frame some their size and seasonal needs should be similar. I basically just registered for random stuff and a few larger items that the grandparents would handle 🙂 We’ll reuse all the old furniture and borrow things from friends for anything we happened to get rid of from the first (I didn’t think we’d have another honestly!)

  18. Girl, hell-to-the-naw.

    You register for Charlie. Because he is special and because he’s your #2, which is just as great as #1. And he’ll get hand-me-downs, Shoot I did… and that’s okay, cause he’ll get new stuff too. And he’ll be into different stuff than Eddie and Eddie will get mad if Charlie gets something cool that he doesn’t get and the other way around. No one’s judging you and if they are screw ’em. xo

  19. I’m the oldest of two and I STILL got hand-me-downs from my older cousin! (Which were totally awesome because she had great clothes!) Then those hand-me-downs often got passed on to my sister. I always figured that was the nice thing about having two of the same, you could have them wear the same clothes. Those clothes are freaking expensive!

    I don’t think your registry for Charlie was any big thing. It’s not like you registered for nine billion things and said BUY ME MOAR STUFFS! You’re registering for things you actually need that you don’t have and so that #2 has some stuff to call his own. And people who think differently, suck. That’s all.

  20. And because I forgot everything I was going to say in the last comment, I’m commenting to say something else… 🙂

    Please blog on what you think about the Moby Wrap (if/when you get one). If we have a second baby, I would love to try one!

    I just discovered that fold up seat thing for bathing little guys on your registry. So cool. Want!

  21. I wouldn’t feel bad at all.

    But, having said that, I don’t think there is anything like the first time….

    My friends and I throw what we call sprinkles for each other for Baby #2 and most people if they are having the same sex just ask for diapers, lots of diapers. But clothes too, especially if the second baby is due during a different time of the year than their first. All the mommies always register if they are having a different sex baby than their first.

  22. I think this is actually the best thought-out reason for a shower that I’ve ever heard. A shower is about gifts, but it’s also a celebration of the new addition… and I think you’re right that it would be sad for you (baby won’t know better) to not have had the opportunity to have the ritual.

    I also think that many people really enjoy giving gifts, especially baby gifts. I think many would have got you something anyway, and will be happy to have a registry to work from. At least, I would.

    Incidentally, we had a moby wrap. My hubs used it for a bit. G was born in March with snow still on the ground, and M would put him in the moby and then wear his big coat around them both and we would walk to the cafe. I never could get the hang of it… G never wanted to be in the carrier with me, just in my arms. But I think carriers are worth a shot. If we got a new one, we would probably get one with less fabric than the moby, and with a little more shape (E.G.: actual ties).

  23. First, LOVE the new blog look! Second, it’s great that you registered. I was surprised how many new things popped up between baby 1 and baby 2. I LOVED my ring sling wrap. Also, if you wanted to add a little decor personalized for Charlie, I know a place on Etsy where you could probably get a discount. 😉