BlogHer Gave Me Monkey Butt

This is a very long over-due vlog.

Let me give you the back story…

So I went to this little blogging conference called Blogher.  They give out a buttload of swag at BlogHer.  So much in fact that when it came time to pack up and go home, my roomies and I had to create a “reject” pile on the table in our room of stuff we just couldn’t cram into our suitcase didn’t think fitted our personal needs.

Of course there was much riffling through this pile to see if someone else’s trash was indeed our treasure.

It was in this riffling one late night that I found something.

It was the last night of BlogHer.

I had come up to my room, taken a shower, put on my jammies, and was sifting through the “reject” pile while chatting with Natalie and Gigi.  It was late, I was pregnant and tired…and very, VERY punchy.

And that is when I found it.

A bright pink bottle amidst the rejected loaves of bread and thousands of thumb drives….

What in the ham sandwich is this and who GOT this as SWAG??

There was an explosion of wine-induced giggles from my non-pregnant blogging friends as they admitted that they both got “Monkey Butt” from a certain brand at that certain brand’s party.*

*Note here:  I promised not to announce on my blog that THIS BRAND gave them Monkey Butt since apparently they love this brand (actually, so do I) and we all three work with them and don’t want to tarnish anything.  But OMG…THIS BRAND GAVE THEM MONKEY BUTT!

Ahem.

Around this time, my other roommate, Nichole, comes home from the night of fun.  Just in time to witness the overly tired, punchy, pregnant lady who is in her jammies with wet hair and no make up do a pretty darn good sell of Monkey Butt powder.

They REALLY wanted to bust out their phones and get me to vlog it right there.

But I had to veto that decision.  I mean, see the previous description of me, right?

So I had to swear on my unborn child that I would vlog about this product when I got home.

And the next morning I flew out of San Diego with Monkey Butt.

Yes, I so did.

Then two months of being sick and tired and depressed went by.

And I never did the vlog.

But friends…especially Natalie, Gigi, and Nichole?

This is for you.

I hope you haven’t let your hopes get up…because it’s not all that awesome.

Oh, and excuse the mess.

And the bad hair.  I promise it’s getting chopped next week.

Anyway.

Here you go…

I know.

You have no words.

It’s ok.

Me either.

But I also don’t have Monkey Butt.

So there’s that.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. Why there isn’t a kick ass all girl punk band named Monkeybutt is beyond me?

  2. I don’t know about monkey butt, but when I work out in the summer butt sweat drives me nuts! You know what fixes it? A thong.

  3. I finally have a diagnostic term to use for that uncomfortable butt problem. Monkey Butt!

    Great vlog!

  4. TheNextMartha says

    ok. I have no idea what that is. Red buns? I don’t want to know what your doing with your buns to get that red.

  5. Hehehe – I laughed SO LOUD when I saw it in the store.
    I have to admit, I found Spanks solved the same problem. lol

  6. I just love the baby cooing in the next room.

    This was an important Public Service Announcement.

    You probably helped somebody today.

    Probably.

    Maybe. 😉

  7. Oh, I left my Monkey Butt in the swag discard pile….

    And you should vlog more, you’re so adorable!

  8. Hahahaha looove it!

  9. I would have you know that every time you said Monkey Butt, my Chunky Monkey died in hysterics.
    If only he knew what monkey butt was for.

  10. Umm … should I not admit that I’ve heard of Monkey Butt powder before? I didn’t know there was a Lady version, though! I wouldn’t mind having some for when we go biking on the weekends, though. Because butt sweat? Is nasty.

    • yeah, Cort was not all that shocked either since he had heard of the dude version of monkey butt before and looked at me like I had finally cracked when I was on the floor laughing about it.

      and yes, other than the embarrassing name? The product sounds rather useful. ahem.

  11. You’d have to do a WHOLE lot of driving to get chafed, no?
    I mean how exactly does one go about “rubbing” while behind the wheel?

    I mean really.
    Take a bus, people.

    (Hilarious, Katie. And I can’t wait for Eddie’s Gender vlog. OH yeah.)

    • I know…DRIVING?? Seriously? I get that you can get chaffing while walking or exercising. I may have…um…experienced that. But driving??? That is some weird driving???

      And yes…Baby Gender Vlog. It will be good times.

  12. I love you, my friend. That is all.

    Oh, the best part of the entire video? The delightful scent 😉

    • I know it wasn’t as funny as being up way too late for way too many nights in a row…but it still cracks me up that you guys got that as swag.

      and yes…it was like inhaling baby powder. ::cough cough::

  13. OMG…I am dying.
    And missing you.
    I’m in tears, partly from laughter, but mostly from missing your face.
    I may have to make a trip to Michigan to spoon you.
    Love you, my friend!

    • I would kick Cort to the couch if you came to spoon. You and me, babe. Seriously though…it hurts my heart to not know the next time I will see you. Love back to you, my monkey-buttless friend!

  14. I am so chafed right now I am using Desitin on my thighs…I kind of wish I would have picked some up! LOVE the vlog, you’re a natural 🙂

  15. Lmao. I think the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz was so angry because her flying monkeys gave her a case of the monkey butt. Great vlog. Knew I should have got into the monkey butt lotion business.

  16. Am I gross because I love and use this product? Between horseback riding, running, and cycling, my lady butt can get chafed, and I’ll tell you what – this stuff works! Not gonna lie, I came to this entry hoping there was a giveaway 😛

    • babe, I do NOT think you are gross. You are ACTIVE. I would get my lady bits chaffed then too! and that is AWESOME! It’s the marketing of the product and the fact that they think you can get chaffed by sitting around doing nothing that cracked me up. And email me your address and I will SEND you the stuff I have. It’s only open so I could smell it. Not been used or anything!

  17. OMG!! I may be cackling right now. A lot! Do you have anything for Chicken Throat?

  18. Okay, this may be TMI, but I could have TOTALLY used some of that after a 5 mile run last week, in the wrong shorts. ;P

    And the fact that you got it from the rejected pile? Priceless.

    • oh girl, just wearing the wrong shorts around the house would mean that I need this. Running 5 miles? You are amazing.

  19. I seriously am among the many who would need this, though it’d be for thigh chafing and nowhere near mah booty! And yeah, the only other area (totally TMI) would be under the boobs. Sorry. I have lots of junk in my trunk and stuff. 😉 I was going to say I’d take yours, but Rebecca deserves it more. She earns it with all that moving around! I’ll stick w/Monistat anti-chafing rub cream. It does wonders – – for anyone out there whose thighs chafe just from walking in a skirt or the shorts. It’s a chub rub healer and protector. Hmmn, I wonder if that was a good enough pitch for them to sponsor me? 😉 Tee hee! Loved the vlog!

  20. I’m finally able to gather myself to leave a comment, having watched on my phone yesterday.

    Thank you so much for doing this. I laughed as damn hard watching the vlog as I did in the hotel room. xoxo

  21. lol, here’s tmi about my husband, he has used monkey butt (and other products like it)! he is a big road biker (usually taking 60-150 mile rides) and it is a common problem amongst bikers 🙂

  22. Oh my. I missed that booth and like you had no idea such an ailment existed. Interesting.

  23. I also found this product in a reject pile from someone else’s room & LOL’d so hard I had to bring it home with me. That said, I haven’t used it but there are times when all the thigh rubbing that occurs in the hot NC summers when I refuse to wear jeans/pants/shorts that anti-monkey butt might come in handy.

    And-plus-also, I miss your voice! Vlog more!

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