the light in the darkness

Admittedly I have been focusing on negative things lately.

I have been tired, sick, and depressed.  When you feel like crap, it’s easy to see crap all around you.

And even though I really wanted to enjoy Monday–my last day home with Eddie–it started out with barfing and being hugely tired.  And then I got the news that my cousin–who has three kids under four and one in her tummy due before mine in March–was in a horrible car accident.

She was driving on a rural road when someone ran a stop sign, causing my cousin to T-bone the other car.  The other driver died and the four passengers were hurt.

My cousin and all three (well, four) of her children only had a couple bumps and bruises.  No one was seriously hurt.

What a blessing!  What a miracle!

That news opened my eyes to the lovely bright spots that I simply wasn’t acknowledging because of how terrible I was feeling.

Two of my teacher friends blessed me with donations to my classroom this past weekend.  TWO!  They each get allowances from their district for their classes, but I do not.  Each took the time to set aside markers, pencil-top erasers, pens, paper, notebooks, and more for my students.

I was speechless!

Speaking of school, I went back to work this week.  No kids yet, but teachers were back for three days.

I wasn’t sure how the week would go, to be honest.  I was excited to get back to work, but the idea of getting up early and having to use my brain all day was nerve-wracking.

But then, on the very first day back, a colleague I greatly admire and respect, walked up to me, gave me the half hug, and said, “how are you this morning?  this hasn’t been an easy summer for you.”

I knew instantly that he had been reading my words here and that he truly cared.

And I was so glad to be back because he was not the only one who expressed concern and/or congratulations to me.

On the home front, Cortney has been taking very, very good care of our home and family.

He has been super supportive and loving and doting and concerned about my eating and my sleeping.

So even though my brain is still projecting darkness on my life?

There have been some huge bright spots.

Thank you to all who have been bearing with me.

The next trimester is within sight.

Let’s hope for more brightness.

**special thanks to Kelli and Tracy for the school supplies, Roy for being a concerned friend, and Cortney for making me laugh and then telling me to just go to bed.
About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.


  1. I am so glad you are finding some bright spots to focus on. It’s so easy to be consumed by the dark! I can only imagine that getting back to colleagues and schedules will help – if only to force you into fun and meaningless conversations around the water cooler!

  2. Seeing the bright spots in the darkness is a good step. I hope that back-to-school goes well for you next week 🙂

  3. I’m so happy you can see the bright spots. They are there, always, we just need to move our own little clouds aside to see them.

  4. You’re going to be just fine, lady. Just remember that everyone’s got a different just fine. And focus on the happy stuff as much as you can.

    Love you!

  5. Sending you big big bear warm fuzzy hugs, Katie! It is easier to dwell in the darkness that’s for sure but you are a trooper and you will be alright 🙂

  6. So scary. Things like that just make you re-evaluate all the little things in your life. The car accident, that is.

    As for the 2nd trimester approaching. Lustrous hair, all your energy back and more, renewed appetite. Love the second trimester – I could live like that all the time.

  7. JDaniel4's Mom says

    How wonderful to receive blessing small and large this week! I remember starting out the school year without supplies and having amazing teachers share theirs with me.

  8. Seeing the bright spots and blessings is always a step in the right direction. Glad to see things are starting to look up for you.

  9. Katie, The best advice I ever got during periods that I was overwhelmed was ” do the next thing.” I just do the next thing instead of thinking about the millions of things ahead. It really helps. So glad you are seeing the blessings. Have a wonderful week and just do the next thing.

  10. I hope you continue to find bright spots. It sounds like you have a lot of people around you who care and will support you.

  11. You know what’s cool about light?
    It’s the MOST effective when its surroundings are the darkest.

    Think about it. When a room is already partly lit, a ray of sunshine hardly shows…But a room that is completely black brightens dramatically with just a candle.

    So I’m not wishing you a black room, or anything. I’m merely pointing out that even small gestures of light can part the shadows.

    And there are people all around shining candles your way. You may not always see how much love they’re sharing, but it’s there. Always.

    Even if your eyes are closed.
    (Which is a hint for you to go take a nap. And just like Motel 6? We’ll leave the light on for you :-))

  12. It is so hard to see the blessings in the midst of being tired, sick & depressed in pregnancy. I felt horrible in pregnancy so I get it. You are SO not alone. I’m so glad your cousin and her kids were ok. A true miracle. Blessings all around. It’s good to try and remember them. I’m glad you’re doing that. Hugs.

  13. Baby steps… Just put one foot in front of the other. Sending love and light your way. xoxo

  14. Sometimes the hardest steps are those first few out of darkness. I’m glad you’re starting to find the bright spots.

  15. It is wonderful that you are able to lift your heart up a bit to see a bit of the light. Sending you lots of positive thoughts for a good week back at school.

  16. I’m so glad that your cousin is okay! Your second trimester is almost here. Just hang on!! I’m glad you’ve had some bright spots this week. Those are always helpful!

  17. baby steps. You can do this.

  18. Ps. I love your face.

  19. It IS hard work and conscientious effort to find the the light in the darkness.