Why I Will Never Be a “Big” Blogger

I have no idea lately if my thought are rational or just…pregnant.

I’m told I get irrational, emotional, and sort of paranoid when I am pregnant.  What about it?

I also apparently get a monster case of insomnia.  Lately my stupid nasal sinuses have been constricting just enough that I can sort of breath through one nostril…but it sort of make a flappy noise and then I concentrate on that and then I can’t breathe normally and then I can’t sleep.

At all.

And when I can’t sleep I start thinking about things.  And lately it’s been my blog and all the things I do online…er…haven’t been doing lately since I have no energy.

I came to a conclusion:  I will never be a “big” blogger.

This is probably not news to any of you, but it was sort of freeing to me.  I mean, I don’t think I even realized I was trying so hard.

Anyway…here are the reasons that came to me for why Sluiter Nation will never be HUGE.

1. I just don’t care enough about my numbers.  I don’t.  I look at my analytics once in a blue moon.  The only reason I know how many “hits” I get a day are because I use Jetpack and it’s right there in my dashboard.  But if I have a low day?  I don’t do anything differently than on a high day.  My numbers are erratic and I have zero motivation to figure out why or how to fix it.

2. I just don’t have the time.  Tweeting, facebooking, reading blogs, commenting on blogs, plugging my blog, schmoozing with brands, pitching myself for freelance.  Bah.  I just can’t do it all anymore.  Maybe it’s the pregnancy and lack of energy, but I would much rather tweet and comment and such when I feel like it and I can be genuine than to do it just to get my own blog out there.

3. I just want to write.  Really.  Maybe today I will get 50 hits on this post.  I don’t really care.  I am not writing this post because I think it will be popular, I am writing it because it has floated around in my head for two nights while I couldn’t sleep and I figure if I get it OUT of my head, well, maybe it will leave me alone.

4. I am not the face of anything.  Really, I can’t be The Pampers Girl or The Gadget of the Day Girl.  I just don’t think I can devote myself the way a brand deserves.  Yup, by writing that on my blog, I pretty much just told all brands out there I am not for them.  I realize that.  But really, do you want me to plug juice or diapers to you?  Of COURSE I love to promote small businesses like Etsy and Big Cartel shops, but I just can’t be the FACE of a big brand.

5. I don’t swear much.  I know, I know…it’s not a prerequisite to drop “f bombs” to be big, but lots of the super successful bloggers do it.  And I read those blogs because they are funny.  I am not opposed to the swearing, I just don’t do it here because, well, my last name is up there in the title and I happen to be a teacher and an f-bomb dropping teacher doesn’t keep her job for long.  So, there’s that.

6.  If I could find a way to get paid to just write what I want, when I want, that would be cool, but that is not how it works.  And oh my gosh is it a LOT of work to get paid writing gigs.  At least for me it is.  And just don’t have that kind of time.   Does any full time working mom out there find the time to also write freelance AND still maintain a blog?  Because then I need your hints.  Or not.  Because I don’t want to over do myself.

7. I’m not very controversial.  Big Bloggers do their blogging as their JOB.  And they bring up controversy.  I like it too…that is why I read some of those Big Bloggers.  But that is not me.  In fact, I avoid writing about my birthing choices and my bottle/breast feeding choices, because I DON’T want Sluiter Nation to be a controversial place.  I don’t want to be judged in my own house for my choices.

8. I’m just not cut out for it.  Since BlogHer I have been realizing that I am not “in it” like a lot of my bloggy friends are.  I really loved meeting everyone at BlogHer, but I just wasn’t as in to all the sessions as I could have been (granted, I also didn’t get to many of them since I was all preggo and needed time outs), and meeting brands didn’t really  matter to me.  In fact when I got home I was a bit disgusted at all the “crap” I brought home in the name of swag.  I don’t need all these free things.  I am not even sure I will go to another BlogHer.

9. There are ridiculous politics and games that get played in the blogging world.  Some places won’t syndicate you if you are with a certain ad network.  Other places won’t hire you unless you know someone and have excellent butt kissing skills.  Seriously?  I have enough problems with the REAL politics of education funding in this state…and country…I don’t need to play games with my blog too.

So there it is.  I don’t care enough to play the game.  (but I am glad a lot of you do…because I like to read you).

I just want to write.

Or I am pregnant and being irrational and depressed and I will snap out of it in a few weeks or months.

It’s one of those.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. This post? Lists all the things I love about you! 🙂

  2. I can really relate when you say that you just want to write and you don’t think you could be the “face” of anything. I too want to write, and while I don’t mind doing the occasional sponsored post, I don’t’ want my blog to turn into sponsored post after sponsored post, giveaway after giveaway. Sometimes I think those bloggers have forgotten the whole reason they started. As you as you’re happy where you are, then that’s all you need!

  3. I’m with ya on most points, Katie. And I’m totally cool with not striving to become the next big thing. I honestly wouldn’t have time for it anyway. And it would make me anxious, wondering who I’ll upset with my words or the trolls coming or finding time to blog daily even though I don’t feel up to it. I think it would ruin what blogging is for me now–a joy, an outlet. Great post. 🙂

  4. So, I’ve been reading your blog for awhile but just started following today…after reading this post…because this “list” is exactly why I think you’re an awesome blogger and look forward to watch you have to say every time I see a new post in my reader. 🙂

  5. Yes, yes and yes to all of it. I totally agree. I work full time, try to keep up with my blog, take care of my kids, try to get paid on the side and it’s all just so overwhelming. I want to comment and tweet when I feel like it not because I have to. Also, you are totally one of the “big” bloggers to me. I think it’s all about perspective.

    Also, the stuffed nasal passage thing…I totally get that bad when I’m pregnant. Have you tried a Neti pot? Kind of weird but works wonders.

  6. I swear you have just peeked into an e-mail back and forth between me & Krista from notmommyoftheyear. I was just going on and on (and on) about how I have no niche, but do I care? etc, etc.We were both in agreement, we just want to write.

    You keep on keepin’ on. In my eyes, you’re a big blogger!

  7. I think it’s good you don’t care. Seriously. Cuz what’s the point of getting riled up over the numbers? Also, I think most people who have other projects besides their personal blog either have reached the point or will eventually reach the point of not caring because how can you branch out and try new things if you still care too much? You have your hand in a lot of other things, and these other things are projects that you care a lot about.

    I’ve been having this type of conversation with a couple others recently, and we all seem to feel like we just want to read and write what we want, and not feel any obligation towards others.

    You need to be real to survive “for the long haul” (smile), and I think by you working through all these thoughts, you’re actually better off than lots of people. So, go YOU! 🙂

  8. You’re just perfect the way you are. I’d miss you if you were too busy to tweet. And from my tiny space you’re a big blogger and someone I look
    up to in the bloggysphere.

    So there!

  9. I get it, Katie. I really do. I don’t read your blog because it’s big. I mean, it’s bigger than, say, mine. But that’s not why I come here and comment.

    What brings me back is excellent writing and a person I feel is the real deal. Someone with which I feel a connection. It’s the little things that I’m curious about not the BIG things.

    I feel much the same as you after attending blogher. Where do I go from here? Like you, I just want to write. You don’t need a blog to do that. But it’s good practice and I’ve met some good people in the process.

  10. I don’t know what your numbers are, but you’re a big blogger to me. I realize that comment doesn’t bring in the money, but I feel like you’re consistent & bring quality content with your posts. There are some people I read every time I see a new post, and you’re one of them.

  11. I don’t think you can decide to be a “big blogger” and then become one just because you work hard at it. I think it’s oftentimes something that happens organically, be it circumstantial or over time, whether the blogger asks for it or not.

    I love working with companies, especially ones that send me stuff like hot pockets and bagel bites as payment.

  12. I’ve been wondering the same thing about myself and my blogging journey. I don’t have a real “niche” that most of the big bloggers seem to have. I don’t care about Fashion, and honestly, don’t care what kind of decisions other people make for their families. Like you, I just like to write. And I enjoy the community and the friendships I’ve built up in my little corner of the blog world.

  13. Honestly I have enough trouble writing, commenting back, and visiting people I want to read. If I got big when would I find the time to do that with everyone. I do tweet and open Facebook from time to time, but I know I am where am. It is a good place to be.

  14. I loved this post. I loved it because it is how I feel about my blog as well. Good for you for being okay with it and realizing that people still enjoy reading you even if you aren’t a “big blog”!

  15. I had a lot of these same realizations a long while back (which is funny because I was no where near being big… at all… but still) It is freeing to not care about numbers, to write when you have something to say, to tweet when you are in the mood, etc. I’ve never been to blogHer and I doubt I ever will…. I can already tell it’s not for me. However, there are many bloggers I would LOVE to meet someday, (like you!) under different circumstances.

    Hang in there. The worst, I really really hope, is behind you. Second trimester here you come!

  16. Amen, sister. I’m never going to be a “big blogger” either. And I’m OK with that, too! I just like to write, and post fun pictures, and other silly stuff. If others like it — cool. If no one does — oh, well. I’ll just snicker at myself, then. I wasn’t popular in high school either! I’ve realized now that’s not a bad thing. Us unpopular kids are the “real” cool ones anyway. 🙂

  17. This is fucking crazy talk. Yes I swore. What? You are so much bigger than you believe/think you are. I know this and therefore it is true. Why? Cause I said so. And I love you. You are one of the very few…read very…of the blogs that I swoon over. That I inspire to write like. Your words just ooze out in harmony and that is so hard to do.
    I wish you could see yourself like I see you.
    Stop the crazy talk or I’m coming out to Zeeland to kick your ass and then we’d eat cupcakes because that’s how I roll.
    Love your face.

  18. Wait? You’re not a BIG BLOGGER!? Jeez Louise….well you are BIG to me. I respect all your writing, all your blogs and your talent. I’ve thought of all the things u wrote and that is why I will never be big…but you are bigger than you realize.

    Hope u get some sleep tonight Katie…sweet dreams my friend.

  19. I know what you mean. But either way, we’re just happy to read what you have to write – whenever YOU get around to it – and whenever we have the time. Keep it up sister. And I hope you’re feeling well! And by the way…I really don’t enjoy reading those big bloggers…
    XOXO, Ali

  20. Hormonal, not hormonal, big, small, in-between, breathing, stuffed-up, whatever – Good.For.You. For saying what is on your mind, and for just writing. I blog because I cook, even if no one other than my family reads it, I still love to cook, so I still blog! To the people who read you, you’re huge! Hope you can sleep tonight

  21. I *love* this post, but I’m really commenting cause I am a lifetime sufferer of insomnia and I have found something that really works for me, so I thought I’d share. It might sound ridiculous, but when you lay down, concentrate on your toes and relaxing them. Once they relax, move to the rest of your feet and concentrate on relaxing them. Once they are relaxed, move to your ankles. I think you are getting the picture. By concentrating on these things, you’re effectively block out other thoughts that will work with the insomnia to keep you from the rest you need. I thought it sounded crazy at first, but it works (and I’ve tried everything). I usually fall asleep long before I make it to my nose!

    And bravo on being yourself and owning your feelings on blogging. I totally agree. I can’t see how any mom (who isn’t working as a blogger) can concurrently become a big blogger while working full time.

  22. Katie, this sounds like the inside of my head. So thank you.

    There’s a season for all this. Just because it isn’t the right fit today doesn’t mean it won’t be tomorrow.

  23. BlogHer burnout.

    That’s what this is. (I warned you about it didn’t I? If not, sorry.)

    I’ve gotten it every year since I started going.

    This year was the first year it didn’t happen to me.

    This too shall pass.

  24. How big is big? I think anyone can look around and see themselves as small. But you do your thing ridiculously well. Maybe you’ll get bigger, but if you already feel big enough? That’s okay too.

  25. TheNextMartha says

    I thought you were a big blogger. Me neither. I just can’t do that “frequent posting” thing that people do.

  26. I think of you as a big blogger. Maybe what you are saying you won’t be is not so much a big blogger, but a professional blogger. And I think that is okay. You have a path you want to take your writing and this blog, and that is a fabulous thing.

  27. I actually feel all of the same things that you wrote about. And I actually think that you’re the voice/face of more than what you think you are. You sort of represent the “rest of us” who don’t really WANT to be big bloggers. We want to write about what’s floating around in our heads, we want to be good parents, not be judged or be all that controversial, and we want to have a community of friends who genuinely care for us and whom we care about in return. That’s not a bad thing.
    Being the poster-girl for KINDNESS might be under-rated… but it’s certainly far more important the the swag-holding Big Bloggers realize. You are building a space where we all feel safe. That’s a BIG deal. And that makes you BIG in my book.

    Also, been meaning to tell you… you red bathing suit post has been bouncing around in my head for weeks. I actually saw 4 (FOUR!) women at the beach here in AL, wearing that same suit! You are freaking AWESOME. And beautiful at that.

  28. Yeah, I kind of already look at you as a big blogger, like some others have said. And I don’t think being one means all those things. I think it means that you’re someone people enjoy reading, look up to just a little bit, and think you rock just a lot. 😉 So for me, you’re big. And it’s probably because of all the things you posted about NOT doing. And yeah, someone else said professional blogger, and I’ll agree w/that. I don’t wanna be one of those, either, as i just want to fit with what works for me. And if I find something that fits so be it, and if not, c’est la vie. Good for you for getting it all out, tho! 🙂

  29. I feel a lot of the same ways and I’m not pregnant. 🙂 write because you love to. I think you rock Katie.

  30. I’m right there with you – I’ll never be big, but I’ll be quite happy where I am. I have my readers, and I couldn’t be happy to have people who want to read my words. I do a little jig every time I get a new “subscriber” notification, which is awesome.

  31. Wait..your not a big blogger? Then what am I doing here?! Just kidding, I definitely look up to you as a blogger and I love your writing style. I agree about the controversial stuff. I dont do that either, its just not me.

  32. i don’t like the butt-kissing either, which i don’t see a lot of but i’m sure is there. it IS a lot of work and I”m sure the big bloggers will tell you that. and we all know that commenting and reading and tweeting and facebooking gets you traffic and it’s not fair to say “come visit me!! but I don’t have time to visit you.” but it’s time consuming. and for those of us that work outside the home, it’s tough too!!! so glad you wrote this, i think there are more people that feel this way than you realize.

    curious to hear more of your thoughts on BlogHer… i’m sure meeting friends was fun, but……

  33. I came back with so many thoughts after BlogHer.

    So much reality was there.

    And, I realized, that for me: I can only be who I am.

    And that is someone who loves to write, who is grateful to have a place to do that, and feel blessed for the kindred souls I have met.

    That makes me richer than I ever imagined for myself.

    Thank you, to all of you, who stop by on my blog, to those who tweet back, and to those who post words that touch my heart, or make me laugh out loud.

    I love blogging.

  34. Amen.
    And also, yes.

    You are perfect the way you are (and size does NOT matter, right? ;-))

    p.s. To me, you’re big.
    But not BIG, if you know what I mean…

  35. Okay, to me…in my little world you ARE a BIG blogger, and it’s mostly because of everything you listed here. You blog for you! And isn’t that how it should be?

  36. I’m with some of the others…I thought you were a big blogger!

  37. Oh, Katie.
    Yes, yes, and yes.
    I went to an event last night that was for writers and the “B” word was used so minimally.
    I heard these words instead: passion, craft, love, dedication.
    Those words were music to my ears.
    Writing. That’s what I’m meant to do. The other stuff? Exhausts me.
    And the competition and politics and game playing have left me truly disillusioned.
    Love to you, honest one.

  38. I love how honest and real this is.

    And I agree with everyone else, you are perfect just the way you are.

  39. I love this. And you’re not alone, I’ll never be a big blogger either. I NEVER look at my numbers. Just so long as the same 10-12 people comment on my stuff, I really don’t care. I just want to write! The other stuff is too exhausting.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Why I will Never be a Big Blogger by Katie @ Sluiter Nation: I’ve been back and forth on figuring out what I want for my blog in the future. My numbers continue to grow and I keep meeting really amazing and awesome friends here in the blog world. But, will I ever be a big blogger? I’m still not sure. This post was great, if for no other reason, than because it made me question my own intentions and blogging goals. […]