what am I afraid of? EVERYTHING!

In a month it will all be over.  Yes,  I am talking about BlogHer ’11.  On Wednesday,  August 3,  I fly out of Grand Rapids–BY MYSELF for the first time ever–and head to California (also a first for me).

I might be getting nervous.

I may have sent my roommates emails that involved sweaty hands and butterflies in my stomach.

I could possibly have put it out there on twitter that I am terrified.

All of these things have allegedly happened.  And it’s still just almost a month away.  Can you imagine what I will be like within a week of leaving?  People,  it is getting ugly around here.  Fast.

So I thought I would take this opportunity to share with you what is currently keeping me awake at night.  They pretty much range from legitimate nerves to ridiculous,  over-the-top,  dorky fears.

Here we go.

#1  Saying goodbye to my boys.  I may have actually cried myself to sleep imagining having to say goodbye to them.  I have only been away from Cort for less than a handful of nights since we were married and I have only been away from Eddie if Cort is with me.  I am already feeling lonely for my boys…even though I know I will have way fun.

#2   Flying alone.  Actually sitting in my seat and flying doesn’t scare me at all.  Well, other than needing to go to the bathroom,  but I’ll get to that later.  I am mostly afraid of the plane switch in Detroit and then having to get to the airport on Sunday to come home, finding my correct gate, and getting me and all my stuff to Detroit just to have to switch planes again.  The only two times I have ever flown in my life, someone else was there to just follow.  I don’t know how to work an airport.

#3   Peeing on a plane.  I don’t know why.  I’ve never done it, but in my mind it’s awful.  Therefore I will drink nothing from noon est on Wednesday, until I get to SD at 9:20 (cali time) at night.

#4   Sleeping in a bed with someone I don’t know.  Seriously, Miranda?  Nichole?  I hope I don’t snore.  Or fart.   Or have smelly feet.

#5  Getting ready with three other women in my room and only one bathroom.  I don’t think this needs explaining.

#6  Being under or over-dressed.  I think I am ok for the day, but it’s evenings I worry about.  Everyone says whatever you wear is fine.  And I am sure that is true, but I like to at LEAST match the people I am with,  and I am afraid they are FAR more fashionable than I am.

#7  Getting tired before everyone else.  I just looked at what the schedule is like.  There is more going on in one day than I have going on all dang summer.  My days usually consist of sitting around the living room, then the dining room, then outside, then the living room again.  I am afraid 10pm will come and I will be jet-lagged and exhausted and not really wanting to meet one more damn person and everyone will think I am a GIANT party pooper for going back to the room to bed.

#8  Being not what people expect.  I am not really that funny.  I talk awkwardly to fill silence.  I don’t initiate hugs because I do those awkwardly too.  I am afraid people will instantly wish they had not roomed with me or said they would go to sessions or parties with me.  I am afraid people will avoid me.  Or that I will think people are avoiding me.  Or that people will think that I am avoiding them when in reality I think they are avoiding me so I am just trying to save them the trouble and save face.

#9  Not getting enough food, caffeine, water, sleep.  I get grumpy when I am lacking in any of these things.  I don’t want to be grumpy.

#10  Either getting all “fan girl” tongue-tied around awesome bloggers or getting too talky/abrupt around them thus creating an ass of myself.  This one is very real, people.  See the awkward statement from above.

#11  Not being able to find anyone at the appointed time.  Yes, I already have a handful of cell numbers, and yes I can tweet from my phone.  But I am still nervous about missing the train to something with everyone.

#12 Getting pregnant before BlogHer and being on progesterone thus amplifying all of these worries plus adding vomiting and dry heaving and excessive sleepiness into the mix.

Are you going to BlogHer?  Do you have worries?  Can you calm mine?  Anyone?

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. Oh you’re making me anxious just thinking about it. I KNOW I’m going to miss my boys (& still nursing girl AH!) but less fashionable, have less energy, be too shy or not funny or seem snobby (bc I’m too shy) and feel like a total loser too. But w 3,000 women there I KNOW I’m not the only one. It’s going to be great! We’re going to rock it! And I want to meet you, hang out, go to a party or two, or whatever…so there. One friend. 😉

  2. You will have a blast. The only thing that would scare me is walking into a conference with 3000+ other bloggers. No pressure, glad that is not on your list.
    Speaking of lists, be sure to pass by on my blog on Monday and link this one to my Monday Listicle. Might get to know some of the other Blogher goers. See you Monday.

    • Oh yay! Thanks for the list heads up, Stasha! And yeah, 3,000 people don’t phase me. The 3000 bloggers not noticing me at all…or noticing me for the wrong reasons? that scares me!

  3. Wine helps if I am nervous… Or Ativan… Or both…

    I hope you have an amazing time. I would LOVE to be able to go #stupidfamilyvacation

  4. You’ll be fine, silly goose!

    You will totally rock it, I know it.

    Also? You get to go, that is in itself so awesome. I can only dream and look from afar and wish I could go 🙂

    • I am still feeling like this HAS to be a dream. There is no way this is happening to me!

  5. Still very jealous that you get to go to BlogHer. You will have a great time and you should do a follow up to see how many of your fears came true (NONE!)

    • that is an AWESOME idea! Another friend asked me to try to list out all the swag/stuff i get because she is curious and it seems like people who have gone before just say “man, it’s just a LOT” without a ton of specifics. So I will bring BlogHer to you all when I get back!!!

      • I can’t wait to read all about it. I am hoping next year I will get to go. So your posts will be my prep work 🙂

  6. You’ll do great! I’m so jealous! I still have my BlogHer ticket and my room reserved, but I know I’m not going, but I haven’t unreserved the room because I keep hoping something fantastic will happen, and I”ll get to go…anywaynotaboutme…I’m so excited for you and can’t wait for the post BlogHer updates. As for the farting and stinky feet, just make sure the fan is blowing in about your general vicinity, you’ll be fine 🙂

    • you need to go! you have the ticket and the room? do you know how many people would LOVE that? YOU HAVE TO GO! Then we can squee when we see each other. And yes, I will be all sorts of updating…or at least I plan to be!

  7. Oh good. Your spreadsheet comment made ME nervous. I’ve been to lots of conferences (but not blogging ones) and I’ve presented at lots so this isn’t making me too nervous, but I do have some of the same worries.

    #1 – Yeah, that will be hard. But you will be ok.
    #2 – Totally intimidating when you’re not used to it. But there are lots of signs – I’ve been in more airports than I can count and I have a TERRIBLE sense of direction and I always end up okay. You will too.
    #3 – It’s not bad. Seriously! You will want to get up from your seat. The bathrooms are really not awful, and it will give you a chance to get refreshed (sort of).
    #4 – I would be freaking out about that too. Can’t help you there.
    #5 – Yep. Just body check Nichole. I think you can take her. 😉
    #6 – Same worry. I think there will be a big variety there though. Just walk around like you own it and you’ll be fine. Plus, if people judge you for the way you dress then they suck.
    #7 – I will be lame with you. I am not a partier. I am not a night owl. I’m afraid I will totally succumb to peer pressure and stay up too late and get exhausted. Which would be bad.
    #8 – Ok, so now we know. And I will expect this of you and therefore there is no pressure. Does that help? No? Ok, how about this: so what? We’re all going to be awkward.
    #9: Yes. Oh god, yes.
    #10 – Depends who you consider an awesome blogger. There’s only one I’m worried about and I suspect she’ll be lovely so I think it will be fine. The others? Ah, whatever. Maybe I’m just not enough of a fan to be worried about this one… I’d rather talk to people I’ve actually connected with.
    #11 – Yeah, that stuff makes me nervous too.
    #12 – That would suck. But cross that bridge… And just think – it would make for a great blog post 😉

  8. First off, if you haven’t my (first) post about Blogher tips, you should. Might help.

    Second, let me attempt to address your worries one by one:
    1. That’s the hardest, but maybe set up a time every day or night to try to at least call, if not skype? I miss my kitty (I know it’s not the same but he really is my baby)… but I won’t be skyping with him so if you need a computer you can borrow mine 😉

    2. Airports suck, but here’s my trick (works almost every time)- bat your eyelashes, if you’re a hoe like me pull your shirt down a little more, and play up the hopeless female thing. Guys will be fall over themselves to help you, no joke.

    3. It’s not bad. You NEEEED to drink water– being on an airplane dehydrates you and trust me, you don’t want to go into this weekend dehydrate! Just make sure to go pee right before you board, during your layover, and get up to go (and stretch your legs) when they turn the seatbelt sign off. It’s not bad, just cramped.

    4. Don’t worry about them. You’ll probably all be drunk or so wiped every night you’ll just ptfo, no joke. Especially when the adrenaline rush is over. Last year, I didn’t even notice when my roomie got in and out of bed, and I’m a light sleeper!

    5. If you’re really worried about getting ready time, decide on the first day who takes showers when (am vs pm). We all did our hair/makeup in the bedroom in front of the bureau mirror before going out, and absolute worst case scenario someone does their makeup while someone else showers (or you call me and come to our bathroom!)

    6. (I talked about this in my post!) Try looking up pictures from last year. I know there’s a ton on flickr, morgan and i both blogged about it, and i’m sure a million other people you know did too– complete with pictures. People’s clothes totally run the gamut–I think some people are just so stoked to be away from home on their own that they really go all out. To people’s party last year, I wore a clubbing-type tank top, jeggings, and heels. @grace134 still hasn’t let me forget the jeggings (dood, they look and feel like real jeans), but whatever. People were wearing sundresses, sexy schmexy cocktail dresses, and jeans. Sparklecorn is super fun to dress up for (I wish I’d known about the actual SPARKLE part last year), but by the end of the night you’ll be sweaty from dancing, wearing glow stick headbands, ketchup on your dress, carrying your heels, and wondering where your other condom earring went. I mean, what? Who does THAT? 😉 Needless to say, the company is really what matters. Bring a couple options if you can, and compare notes with your roomies– if you’re all dressed in the same “level” of dressiness, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable. Again, look at my post- I have recs for day and night.

    7. Sweetie, I bet you have more energy than I do. I went to our room at least 2 of the 3 days I was there and took an hour-long nap midday, and was the first one back every night. (And I sound like an eighty-year-old.) Don’t push yourself to go to every.single.thing. You just CAN’T go to everything, so don’t expect yourself to! Pick a couple things each day you for sure want to hit (including a party or two) and do those. Coordinate with people, and if you’re tired or hungry or want to sit down, guess what? They probably are/do too. Blogher is exhausting for even the craziest high energy people. And we’re talking like 95% sleep-deprived moms, here. If nothing else, you could take a quick nap after dinner/pre-parties. There is time to relax, you just have to allow yourself! You can always go to the tempurpedic booth and lay down on their tester beds too…

    [[omg this is turning out to be as long as my actual post was but at least it’ll distract you from the shittiness of the matrix 3]]

    8. Try not to overthink it. I’m pretty sure EVERYONE feels this way. I feel that way even about the people I DO know but haven’t seen for a year. We’re all a little (or a lot) different online. Just be yourself, because that’s what shines through online and offline and THAT’S the Katie we all loooove. And hug. Seriously, just hug. I plan on making a point of hugging this year, so watch out.

    9. Food– bring granola bars in your purse with you around the expo hall. Again, if you’re tired/hungry/undercaff’ed, I’m sure someone else you meet up with is probably as well. I missed lunch one day last year and it was the worst decision I’d ever made to go to the expo after. I ended up bingeing on like weird pancake breakfast sammies and cupcakes. Makes me want to hurl just thinking about it. Gotta stay fueled though! I thinkkkk Pepsi is sponsoring the conference, which means there will be no shortage of caffeine. Also, there’s coffee and tea at breakfast/lunch (!!) and I’m sure there’s a starbucks in the hotel or close by. Maybe get some Via packets or something if you’re really worried? Or… buy some crack? lol. Water is huge, but I distinctly remember getting at least two reusable water bottles at the conference last year. Worst case scenario, buy a bottle of water when you arrive and keep refilling it at drinking fountains. You’ll be peeing like a racehorse but it’s better than being sick and dehydrated!

    10. i TOTALLY did this last year, and know what I learned? They all do it too. Most of the “awesome” bloggers we look up to think of themselves as not so awesome and/or are totally shy and awkward themselves. For example, I’d been in love with @grace134’s backpiece (look it up if you haven’t seen it, it’s AMAZING)… so what did I do at people’s party? Walked up behind her and put my hands ON HER DAMN BACK. Talk about completely freaking awkward. I don’t suggest my creeper sneak attack approach, but say hi, give them a hug, say I love your blog, and then just chat about the conference. Compliment them on something they’re wearing if it helps break the ice… I guess it’s kind of like being at the first day of classes, and you know there’s a bunch of smart kids so you want to seem cool.. but in trying so hard you make yourself awkward. So don’t try so hard! And be you! And worst case scenario, you call me and I’ll tell you what awkward thing I did THIS year, cuz I’m sure there will be AT LEAST one super awkward incident. Oh, and by the end of the conference? People you totally idolize might just become your closest new-real-life-from-online-friends.

    11. Call, text, and tweet the shit out of people. I won’t get mad if you do it to me… and i will be obsessively checking my phone. Plus, we’ll get that Beluga group texty thing set up soon so all 20 or so of us that have been chatting can text you (and everyone else!) Seriously though, (oh look, another embarrassing thing that lives on in infamy)– last year at the Voices of the Year reception, I was flying solo. So what did I do? I tweeted, said I’m hanging out outside the hall in a “boobalicious” dress. Later on that night (after people came over and said hi!!), @kalisah (i think) stopped me and morgan to take the picture that’s up on my blog now, saying “i want to take a picture of your boobalicious dress!” Because of the boobalicious tweet. So tweet where you are, what you’re wearing, what you wanna do, you’ll find people or they’ll find you! And for group outings, just try to be early 🙂

    12. Jesus H this list was long. Ok so this one I have zeroooo experience with myself. BUT I was with @melissapher on Saturday last year, and she confided in me that she was having lots of cravy feelings and such. In fact, we went to some room where a brand was doing a taste testing thingy and she totally went nuts over their biscuits. Moral of the story? If you do get pregnant, YAY! You won’t be the only one there, I’m sure of it… a few women looked ready to pop last year! If you’re sick, that 95% of the conference that’s moms? Will TOTALLY understand. And I’ll just make fun of you because you were gettin some and I’m… not. 😉

    So there you have it. My dissertation on calming your Blogher anxieties. Me? I plan on overpacking, taking extra klonopin and drinking the wine from my roomie @guavalicious’ sponsor. Or some combination thereof. I promise, you will have fun. Think of it as one big giant girl’s weekend, and come ready to give me a big smooshy hug, got it?? <333

    • Dear Linz…I love that you blogged in my comments. Seriously. This dissertation DID help calm me!

  9. You will have a great time! You’ll totally rock it there! 😉

  10. I’m scared I’m gonna be alone the whole time. My roommates got switched last minute, so I don’t know them. I have nobodies numbers or anything like that. Nobody probably wants to meet up with me. I’m so out of the loop. I have no idea about parties and such. I probably shouldn’t even be going lol. I’m in over my head.

    But you my dear will be fine. At least you have people to meet up with. And even if you are awkward, there are other people that will make you feel comfortable and like you have known them forever.

  11. I don’t have BlogHer specific advice, because that’s so far out of my league! but try to remember that people want to meet you, because they’ve connected with you through your blog and twitter and other mediums. You can’t “hide” yourself on all those things, so they DO know you and ARE your friends, and I am sure everyone feels the same worries.

    Have Cort pick out your clothes 😉 He did a great job on your profile photo shoot!

    • oh honey. BlogHer is out of NO ONE’S league. Do you know how I know that? I am going. And I feel oh so small. Also? Cort LOVES this comment 🙂

      • You would be one of the people I would be so excited/intimidated to talk to. I think you underestimate yourself!

  12. Also, I don’t know if you saw this, but there are a couple of fun BlogHer fashion posts!

    http://thelittlehenhouse.com/

    (You may already read; I don’t know.)

  13. Screw BlogHer and fly east to hang out with me?
    Less networking, but also? Less stress!

    ps?

    You’ll do fine. I’m going to sit on your shoulder via Twitter and remind you.

    • you will be my life line. you and Alex. I may be DM-ing you guys constantly if I am in a corner somewhere all overwhelmed and scared. be prepared.

  14. First…I used to live in GR! My hubby is from there and both my kids were born there. That airport sucks. But the people are nice.

    Second, I worked as a flight attendant for many years before becoming a mom…ASK FOR HELP! Someone will be glad to point you in the right direction. Just don’t ask an agent who has just had to cancel a flight or is asking for volunteers because the flight is oversold and who is surrounded by hoardes of angry people!

    Also, yeah…peeing on planes isn’t fun. But it’s not the end of the world. If ya’ gotta go, ya’ gotta go! Best advice for that is be sure to stand all the p before flushing! Sometimes that blue stuff gets very enthusiastic during the flushing process…gross!

    Good luck…you’ll do fine!

    • Ah the GR airport is supposedly better. I only have to take a little plan from there to Detroit, switch to a bigger plane and then fly straight to SD. And I am so not above asking for help. Good to know people who work in the flying biz expect it from travel dummies like me!

  15. Aw. I panicked my first year (’07) and as soon as I met my first little group of people? I actually breathed and enjoyed the everloving hell out of myself ever since.
    It is what you make of it.
    (Also? Addie has been on 47 flights and Vivi on 2 already with four more in the next month. If they can pee on planes? So can you.)

    • Eek! I am such a newb! I am tied for number of flights i’ve been on with a itty bitty baby! I think I would be happy just to be there. It’s like being happy just to be nominated. I feel that I will do a lot of smiling dumbly.

  16. Bc of most of these I will not be at blogher, I’m a weenie!! You will rock it. And traveling alone? Is bliss. Clearly you haven’t had the joy of traveling w Eddie yet. 😉 the San Diego airport is teeny tiny – you will be fine!

    • I so wish you were going to be there! You live closer to SD than I do! And define teeny tiny…because the Grand Rapids airport is teeny tiny. For real.

  17. Katie:

    You will probably do ALL of those things, and do you know what? It will be fine. Remember this is a conference of BLOGGERS. If we weren’t socially odd in one way or another, more prone to the written word than the spoken one? We wouldn’t be bloggers. These are women who want to connect. Yes, there will be a handful of judgmental asshats, another handful of narcissistic egotists. Ignore them. All the rest? Lovely people like yourself, who just want to connect and enjoy.

    I was going to give some specific advice, but the brilliant people who have commented before me seem to have it covered. Protein/granola bars in the purse a must.

    I have flown dozens, maybe a hundred times, often alone (used to travel for work) and it’s really nothing. Think of it as a just big bus in the sky, really. An airport terminal is a bus terminal with better shopping. Bring good reading material. And don’t fear the bathrooms. Because you MUST drink water, especially if you are PG or trying to be – dehydration a contributing factor to miscarriage, and serious problem on dry-aired planes.

    Also? Tweet me ANYTIME and I’ll come find you. Really. You are my tribe. We take care of our own. Seriously.

  18. Oh, Katie. I’m so glad that someone has the same fears as I do! Your #8? Yeah, that’s my biggest one. I love so many bloggers and I just know I will love them even more when I meet them face to face. But what if they don’t like me?

    It suddenly feels like I’m back in high school on the first day of school. It’s lunch hour and holding my tray of food looking around for someone I know to sit with! Ack! Not a good feeling. But I think everyone will feel better once we get there and start squealing and hugging!

    I am nervously excited. Does that make sense? Think of it this way. Would you rather be one of those bloggers sitting at home watching your twitter feed blow up with blogher fun? Or would you rather BE THERE. Experiencing it yourself? Yeah, me too 🙂

    I really hope to meet you. One of my biggest fears is not recognizing people! If you see me PLEASE approach me. Or better yet, I might email you. I would LOVE to meet up with you and talk shop.

    • YES! nervously excited. And YES! I would rather be there. I was SOOOO jealous last year of all the fun that was being tweeted. This year I…WE…will be a part of it! WOOT! And yes, please approach me if you see me. I am also terrified of not recognizing people and then they think I am blowing them off. I would feel AWFUL if that happened.

  19. You’ll be fine.
    I’ll be right there for moral support. As long as you promise me that we can spoon. 😉

    And Robin? Don’t underestimate me! 😉

  20. I’m going and I’m so excited! But I’m worried I’m going to be too shy to meet anyone I really want to talk to. I’m an outgoing person but in big groups where I don’t know anyone I get very uncomfortable!

    Oh? And I’m worried I’ll feel really fat and/or not at all stylish 🙁

    • i WILL feel fat and not stylish. I am just going to get over that right now. And if I see you? I shall call to you. But if you see me? Please come say hi. I am a bit nervous I won’t recognize people from their avatars. eek!

  21. Man I wish I were cool enough to go 🙂 I think people are going to be just as nervous as you are my friend.

    • you are way cool and you SHOULD be there. and one of these times? you WILL be there.

  22. Oh yeah, baby. Mine was long but Linz’s was longer.

    Do you feel at all better?

  23. You are going to have so much damn fun you are going to forget about all of this. Funfunfun. BlogHer is a blast.

  24. #1 I have been away from Joshua overnight ONCE since he was born. Once. I’m terrified and sad and scared, but I know this is good for me. So I’ll do it and miss him like crazy. I’ve had to be away from Dan for band camp (awesome.) and it’s always a little sad to be alone, but good for us, too, I think.

    #2 I am pulling a Linz here. I will lower my neckline, bat my eyelashes, and ask the nearest helpful (male) face to point me in the right direction. Preferably not with his…uh…pointer. But yes. Ask.

    #3 I am not so much scared of peeing on the plane. I think. I haven’t had to do that yet, so I don’t really know. But I also know that I have some ridiculous bladder space. Maybe that’s why I’m fat…it’s actually bladder.

    #4 Snuggle up. I don’t care.

    #5 Scheduling will help this, but really just for showers. There should be enough space elsewhere to get make-up on. But? Bring a mirror that’s bigger than a compact so that you can sit anywhere to do your make-up.

    #6 Be you. Be comfortable. You’ll be fine. And hot.

    #7 I’m a night owl and I’m planning to run on sheer adrenaline and caffeine. But if I feel the need to pass out? I will do it and not think twice.

    #8 I am scared of this, too. So? We will be partners-in-awkward, okay?

    #9 I worry about food, so I’m planning to pack a box of snacks, I think. I will share.

    #10 Yes. I’m scared of this, too. But I’m also scared that I will work up the courage to speak to these people and they will be all “Who are you again??” and I will be all butt-hurt.

    #11 Use the buddy system. If you don’t get where you’re “supposed” to be? You are with a buddy, so you are not alone.

    #12 If you need to puke? I will hold your hair back. I’m a good friend like that. And I have some favors to pay forward from that time I went to the brewery tour…

  25. I think this conference will be good for you in ways you can’t imagine right now.

    Trust me.

    Also, beware of Nichole. She’s been known to text from the next bed.

  26. You will do great but I have to admit this post makes me feel a little bit better than I’m not going because I would be scared of all the same things. To me you are such a confident, talented woman that I am surprised to hear you have so many fears. I have a feeling you will soar at blogher and everyone will love you as much as they already do.

    • I hope you are right, Jessica! And I wish you were going to be there. You are a face I would love to hug.

  27. I’m not going. I don’t even know what it is. But I wish I was. You know you’re one of the big bloggers that I would get all tongue tied and nervous around right? You’re awesome. You’ll do great. Have some wine on the plane, then ask a handsome (and probably gay) steward to help you get to your gate.

    I can’t wait to hear about it!

  28. You will get exhausted and need a time-out. It doesn’t make you are party-pooper. It makes you just like everyone else there.

    Also, you will miss your family lots. But that isn’t a bad thing.

    And awkward is the new black!

    • you have no idea how much i wish you were going. i need a fellow awkwardian. sigh.

  29. I wish I could say something better than “I’m sure you’re going to have a fantastic time” to ease your mind. But I’m sure you are!

    • thanks, you. i think it will be a blast. i am counting on being overwhelmed, but trying to remember i will also be having fun!

  30. I love Linz & Miranda’s lists back to you. I’ve traveled alone & for me it’s kinda exhilarating~ like I feel excited & dorkily like a “cool grown-up” flying alone. 😛

    And as for the pregnancy thing, I tweeted about that tonight. I’m on the 2WW right now so it’s a possibility that I could be very earlily pregnant too. We could hang out then. Hell, we better hang out anyways!!

    • we WILL hang out. it’s imperative!!! And very soon we will both know if we will be traveling preggers or not…waiting to know? SUCKS!

  31. Thank you for this. Lots of people have said “Oh, we all feel the same way!” but you’ve put it into words. We’ll all be fine. Uncomfortable small talk, and then someone will say something that’ll crack us all up (of I’ll fall on my ass), and we’re golden. 🙂

  32. oh sweetie, you’re going to be JUST fine…really. I would be worried about lots of that stuff too, but take a deep breath, follow your awesome heart…and just GO. Every person at that conference is feeling the way you do, to say it out loud is BRAVE …but I really think you’re going to be BETTER THAN GREAT. 😉
    xoxo

  33. Holy Cow!

    Look at the nerve you hit, 62 comments on this post (63 now)

    Let me say, I think the universal fear is fear of disappointment.

    So easy to take your time and edit and re edit yourself on your posts, and be perfectually funny, poignant, wise.

    In real life?

    I’m an idiot.

    Oh, well, right?

    Hope to see you there, cutie.

    And something tells me you’re every bit adorable IRL as you are online.

    xo

  34. You won’t have to awkwardly fill in silences if we meet at BlogHer because I’ll already be nervously jabbering while trying not to think about how I don’t know what to do with my hands.

    And you ladies are welcome to my bathroom sink and mirror.

  35. You are going to be fine- I promise. I was terrified before going to Blissdom, and it all worked out fine. First off, at least you are a legit blogger. People know who you are, and you understand blogging. I was a complete newbie.

    #1 – Saying goodbye is hard. No way around that. K and I have had overnights away from B, but it’s always hard. We had a family night the night before I left, K dropped me off at the airport, and the boys picked me up together. That was awesome. Have your video rolling when we come down the jetway. =)

    #2 – Flying alone is not so bad. The first time I did it, I was 18. It’s not great, but you’ll be fine. There are plenty of monitors showing you what gate you need to get to, and as a bonus – the gates in alphabetical and numerical order. If I can navigate an airport in Shanghai, you can navigate Detroit.

    #3 – The first time I pee’d on a plane was the trip to China. Otherwise, I make it to the bathroom in the airport.

    #4 – Bed sharing is strange. At least you and Miranda are friends!

    #5 – Amazingly, it somehow works itself out. Someone may be a night shower-er. Someone may be an early bird. You’ll figure it out. And hopefully it will be one of those bathrooms with a vanity area separate from the toilet/shower area. (not to say you should be bathing in the toilet)

    #6 – I am always worried about this stuff – even in my every day life. I will say that you will fit in, no matter what you wear. There will be people wearing all sorts of different things.

    #7 – You will get tired. It happens. But remember this – you have access to your room and a bed. Take a nap if you need it. Lounge for a while. It really does help.

    #8 – You are funny. You are awesome. People will hug you; don’t worry about initiating it. I had a riot the first time that I met you! These people will, too.

    #9 – Carry some snacks and a diet coke around with you.

    #10 – If it happens to you, it will happen to someone else when they meet you!

    #11 – You’ll get there. Have faith. Other people will know you’re coming and will wait for you. You won’t be the only one running late or having trouble finding things.

    #12 – Well, that may happen. Who knows. But, no telling what side effects you may have this time. I will advise to not leave your meds at home though. That does make things a bit rough. Not like I’m speaking from experience, though.

    And remember – you’ve already been to a blog conference and had a good time:
    http://s191.photobucket.com/albums/z159/Andi98989/?action=view&current=PaperKate.jpg

  36. I think my biggest fear is that my fellow online friends will be too busy to hang with me, and that I may appear to be a leech to them. I have a handful of good bloggy friends, a few blog acquaintances, and yeah a whole lot of bloggers I would love to get to know.

    I just don’t want to be a wallflower and finding myself heading to parties alone, or retiring early for the night because I don’t know anyone…bleck…now I am getting anxious.

  37. I spend quite a bit of time away from home… It’s challenging and awesome at the same time. But one of the places that I go to is a place where many other friends also go and crash because it’s on an island. Anyway, one night… I had to sleep with a girl who I’ve been friends with for nearly 5 years, but who I’ve never been close enough to actually be in a position to sleep beside. I’m used to sleeping with the father of my child.
    Apparently, in the middle of the night I did something far worse (or better?) than farting.

    I spooned her.

    Thanks for this post. I am so glad to know I’m not alone in being terrified!

  38. I think many of us, in the same situation might feel a lot of this. I’ve never been to BlogHer, but if I did go, I think I’d be a wreck!

    My favorite on your list is #4, it cracked me up! Cause I know I’d be so worried about that! Sometimes I think I’m a gas machine.

  39. Wait, wait……all three of you are going to sleep in the same bed? Not just the same room, but the same bed?

  40. Holy Crap I don’t know how I got so far behind in reading blog posts.

    SERIOUSLY behind.

    But I just got to this one (I don’t work my way forward, I work backward. duh. stupid way to go because I end up even more late with comments).

    I won’t tell you it will be okay because I would have a lot of the same fears (some other ones and not everything on this list but a lot of overlap believe me).

    I can’t go to BlogHer, though. This is a huge disappointment and a huge relief at the same time.

    Perhaps you understand what I mean.

    So go. Have a blast. Hug people’s faces off (for me). Then, if it’s awkward, tell them that was MY hug.

    XOXO

  41. I haven’t even been blogging long enough to want to go to Blogher (i’ve scheduled my longing for it til next year!) or to feel left out…but wow I loved your honesty here. I would be (if I were going) a fellow Awkwardian. These sorts of things always involve much worry when you are in the hallways that precede whatever thing it is. I find that once you GO and get over the initial Awkwardianness (-: – it all falls away. Have fun and I am looking forward to reading your blog about it. (-:

Trackbacks

  1. […] even read through Kate’s post over at Sluiter Nation…and it make me a little weazy.  New fears! […]

  2. […] seems like there have been a lot of posts popping up this week about BlogHer. Ones like Katie‘s, Suzanne‘s, Diana‘s, Miranda‘s & Alena‘s about their nerves. […]