About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. I feel guilty too, and I stay at home with my son. Guilty for all the things you wrote about, worrying whether I should be reading to him all the time, rather than let him watch some TV, or play a game on the iPad. Guilty that I am letting him roam the house playing by himself while I sit here at the laptop. Trying to balance that out with taking him out to the playground, the play gym, to spending time with him, just the two of us at breakfast. Playing with him as soon as he wakes up in the morning. Talking to him all the time. I don’t know, is that enough?

    I think you’ll be just fine Katie. I hope for you that it will.

  2. I have these same thoughts. The same Mom Guilt eats away at me constantly. Even though I’m home with my kids I always wonder if I’m doing enough or teaching enough or playing enough. I always feel like I never do enough. And it sucks.

    But, I think that’s just our mom brains being critical. You know and I know that we’re both doing amazing jobs as moms. Look at your little guy! He’s happy, smart, and playful! You rock!

  3. You just described my life! I always feel guilty when I’m at work and feel guilty when I’m at home. I don’t know if it ever gets better!

  4. I want you to listen to me.

    Let him have his lazy days. Let him learn to entertain himself. You are not his social director. You are his mother.

    Self-directed play is not only healthy, it’s necessary. You work your ass off all year, and you deserve a little time to yourself. If that means plunking him in a room with his toys and letting him figure it out, or plunking him in the backyard and letting him figure it out, that’s okay. You’re giving him a skill set and yourself a much needed break.

    Breathe, Mama.

    Also. Love you!

  5. I know you know that you’re a good mom & Eddie loves being with you. But when the guilt creeps on days that you’re not “doing” anything, think about this: Maybe he likes not doing anything either. Maybe he likes not being rushed out of his jammies into daycare clothes, playing with other kids, having no choice over what activity he’s going to do next, when he’s going to get a snack, having to share his toys. I’m not hating on daycare. I happen to think daycare is going to do a lot of good for my kid here in a few months, but you and I (and every monther I know) need downtime, we need days of not rushing, not “doing”. I think kids do too.

  6. One of the things I learned when I transitioned from teaching to staying at home full time with my kids was that Mommy Guilt is something that pops up no matter what 🙁 It’s almost like they give you a bag of it when you leave the hospital with the baby, and there’s no way to get around it.

    Remember that it’s ok for him to play by himself.

    It’s ok for you to WANT to play on pinterest all day. (I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s ok to actually do it LOL)

    You have a tough job, and this is your break, too, and it’s going to take some time to decompress from the school year, no matter how excited you are to spend time with Edddie! You’ll find a groove and get into your own little routine in no time!

  7. I agree with every single thing CDG said, every single little thing.

    Eddie is just happy you are home now and the summer break also has to be a time for YOU to downshift. There is a reason that kids (and their teachers get a summer break and that’s because YOU Need it, to repower those batteries, to be able to jump back in once summer is over)

    don’t beat yourself up for this stuff Katie, you’re a GOOD MOM, a SPECTACTULAR mom and Eddie is such a lucky little boy to have you.

    We all need to do things for ourselves, and this is your time for that…and PBS, Nick JR and Disney Jr are VERY EDUCATIONAl….So don’t feel bad about him watching them, that’s good for HIM too. 😉

    xo

  8. Definitely listen to CDG!

    Our minds and guilt can be an evil thing. There is nothing wrong with having a lazy jammie day. And sometimes just being with your mom and doing nothing can be better than any structured activity.

  9. you have to allow yourself grace. Pajama days happen, but no, should not happen every day (because then guilt sets in and you feel like crap, right?)

    With that said, we function best with boundaries and routine. Here is what I do:

    PJ’s and lollygagging till 9ish.
    Do something (not to be confused with leaving the house, but typically try to not be on the computer, with that said, it’s 10:35 and I’m leaving you a comment, so whatever) from 9:30 – lunch
    Lunch around noon
    Quite time naps 1-3 (I can be on the computer if I want)
    3-5 do something
    dinner
    7:30 bed, and momma gets back out her computer.

  10. ((((hugs))) love you. It’s ok. It’s ok.

  11. Hang in there, girl. We all have those days. I have friends who are SAHM moms and they have mom guilt too. I think it’s just part of the job description. Love ya!

  12. I get you on every single level. I was actually thinking about this exact thing when I was reading your post on your “summer break.”

    I remember everyone telling me I had the “best of both worlds” job because I was a teacher and then over the summer I could be a full-time mommy.

    But I felt the SAME WAY you were feeling yesterday.

    Like instead of “best of both worlds” I had “two different half-assed lives.”

    Like I didn’t do either job to the extent of my ability because I was either at work wishing to be with my child or with my child thinking I was not “fully engaged” with him.

    So I get this.

    But remember: A Perfect Situation doesn’t exist. Also, no child likes to go to the grocery store. And most people (little kids included) love a relaxing day in jammies until 10:00.

    You’ll get into the flow of it. You will.

    (just in time to go back to work in the fall. crap. I know. I know. I know.)

  13. I have that same guilty feeling every Saturday and Sunday. For reals. And it gets worse when I realize I have absolutely no idea how to entertain her. And then the weekend passes and I get into a groove and then – BAM! – it’s time to go back to work on Monday. And then the cycle repeats itself. It’s like every week between Monday and Friday I forget how to be a mom. I hate it.

  14. I can so relate to this. I always have BIG plans to do things with my kiddos. But then they wake up at 6 a.m. and I’m just so tired. It takes me 3 hours to get motivated to do anything and by that time it’s lunch and then nap time.

    I feel like a failure at everything. Wife, Mom, Job. I’m failing at all of them. Especially lately. Ugh.

  15. I was coming here to say what CDG said. Maybe Eddie LIKES having lazy days.

    But, with that being said, I get it. I’ve tried to plan a few playdates and Target runs here and there because if I didn’t Joshua and I would never leave the house. Because if I leave the house I spend money. And I neither want or need to spend money right now so I don’t want to leave the house.

    When we don’t leave the house and we’re watching Thomas non-stop and I’m constantly checking Twitter? Pangs of Mom Guilt do crop up. BUT? (you knew this was coming, right?) Eddie (and Joshua) are happy, healthy, thriving little boys who LOVE US.

  16. Please don’t beat your self up. He’s young and resilient. I had such guilt when my 3rd was born, that my older 2 (twins, then age 2) were now going to miss out on so much fun stuff that I couldn’t do with them PLUS a newborn. A good friend said, “Are they happy? Then they don’t know or care that they’re missing out on a lot of that stuff.

    When I have bad days as a SAHM, I just remember that tomorrow is another chance for me to play with them more, teach them more, and just be less distracted. None of us are perfect, and Eddie just loves being with his mom. 🙂

  17. I was having a VERY hard time a couple months ago with something similar. I have 2 kids (4yo & 9 mo), a part-time job that has turned into a full time job, a house, and a husband. And no matter WHAT I was doing, I ALWAYS felt like it was the wrong thing. At work, I felt like I should be home. With the kids, I felt like I should be doing laundry. With the baby, felt like I should be playing more with the 4yo. Doing nothing, felt like I should be doing SOMETHING. Finally, I came up with a system. I am a BIG system person. I need something concrete to look at to make me feel better. Like, if there was a Klout score for parenting, I’d be all over it. (And simultaneously hate it, of course.) I decided: if I could spend my time any way I wanted, what percentage would I spend working, doing housework, playing with the kids, me time, etc. Then for 5 days I kept track. Turns out, I was pretty close to my ideal to begin with. But seeing that in concrete numbers made me FEEL so much better. It made me focus on the kids when I was with the kids and not fret during the times when I was frittering away my time in Facebook. (This was before twitter became the black hole of choice. Also why I am avoiding Pinterest like the plague.) So do whatever you need to to get to a place where you are comfortable with your day. Transitions are HARD. By the end of the summer, you’re going to have it down pat and will not want to go back to school. But you’ll handle that transition, too. And make sure to ask for help! (I think I heard that advice somewhere recently… Where was it? 😉 )

  18. the tears in the shower are not fun. they are necessary but i know sometimes you come out feeling just as drained. i’m sorry hun. one day at a time.