Spring had come, and with spring, baby showers.
So many cute little jammies and hats and shoes and onsies and teeny tiny pants.
I sat in the middle of the almost finished nursery carefully cutting tags and placing items into a basket to be washed.
My first load of itty bitty items.
The socks were so small. Would they get lost in the great big washing machine? Would they get eaten in the dryer?
snip snip snip.
I held each item to my round, growing tummy.
I told Eddie how sweet he would look.
There had been quite a few showers, and as I worked through the pile, I remembered the guests at each one.
Who had given me these cute overalls, and who had gifted my son with the warm jammies, and who had squealed with me as I opened the hand-made hats.
I was happily snipping the tags off what I thought was the last blankie when I saw it.
It was wrinkled and shoved to the bottom of the pile.
The tags had already been eagerly clipped off long ago in hopes of already belonging in the rotation of clothing for a small one.
I picked up the tiny white onsie.
I ran my fingers over the two embroidered ducks and the wording on the front.
“Mommy and Me.”
I tried to brush the cat hair and dust from the front–clearly the cat had been the only warm body enjoying this discarded memento of the past.
I shook my head and threw it to the top of the pile in the basket– and in turn, the memory out of the front of my mind.
And let my hands rest on my swollen middle.
As if he knew I was distracted, Eddie pushed a heel up and out near my ribs.
I gently rubbed his little foot back into a more comfortable position and realize…he will wear that onsie.
His older siblings never did. They never made it to the clothing stage of life.
They never made it to life.
But he will wear it.
He will wiggle and cry and sigh and giggle in it.
He will lie in my arms and sleep in it.
I picked up the harsh reminder again and looked at it.
Then, gently, I spread it across my tummy where Eddie rolled and flutter kicked me.
A smile for what would be spread slowly across my face and moistened my eyes.
Just as quickly as the sadness had come, Eddie took it away.
pssst. I am guest posting today at the lovely Hannah’s place, Peggy Ann Design. Name sound familiar? It should! She is one of my amazing sponsors! This month is the Month of Hannah! Valentine’s Day, her (leap year) birthday, and her anniversary all in one month! To help celebrate she asked little old ME to guest post! yippee!!!
So hop on over to her place and leave a little love on this Friday, would ya?