it’s all about me

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I am busy.

I am up and out of the house by 6:45am each morning  (earlier if there is a meeting or bad weather threatening my commute).

I teach from 7:30-2:30 with no planning period and only 25 minutes for lunch.

There are usually students in my classroom from 2:30 until around 4:00 working on absent work, getting help, or retaking failed tests.

It’s difficult for me to get out of the door by 4:30pm so that I can be home in time for Cort to leave for his night class.

And once I am home, I am in charge of Eddie until bedtime at 8:00pm

Me time?  Is hard to come by these days. At least not without loads of mom guilt with it.

But if there is one thing I have learned from my ppd support groups, it’s that if I want to continue my healing, I have to cut out some me time every single day.

So every day, after I tuck Eddie into bed but before Cort gets home from class, I take my laptop and cuddle into my big brown chair.

My laptop is my me time when I am at home.  It’s where I read and connect and write.  I can get lost for an hour  in chatting with my friends and writing what’s on my heart.

I have found that my at home me time is not always enough though.  You see, other than when Cort has class?  I am never alone in our house.

Since Cort is unemployed and Eddie is a toddler, when I have days off from school?  They are here with me.

I have to carve out “away” me time too.  For my sanity.

That is why at least once a month I try to carve out a Friday night with friends.

To be honest?  I always dread the night out.

Not when I plan it…then I am excited about it.

But as it approaches I start to dread my time away.  The mom guilt and the wife guilt set in.  I worry about being too tired and not any fun.

I am always, ALWAYS wrong.

Getting out of the house with my girls is always good for me.  It reminds me that I am not just a mom.  I am not just a wife.  I am a friend too.  And I am Kate.

When I am reminded of who I am?  I am a better mom…and wife.

How do you find time for yourself?  Do you get the mom guilt thrown at you too?

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Remember, visit http://www.facebook.com/crystallight to learn more about how Crystal Light can flavor your day with 30 refreshing flavors. I was selected and paid for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. I can relate to this on so many levels.

    The “me time” I get is small, and strings always seem to be attached.

    Initially, it was the mom guilt, but I’ve learned my children actually benefit from not being in my presence all day – then again, I am here with them ALL day.

    Finding the time to write is a challenge, but vital. It is how I sort out the turmoil while sparking my long dormant “mommy brain” that has sat in storage for several years.

    I almost lost me.

    So I demand “me time.” I know I’m a better mother the days I get that time. I smell and breathe the little moments to cherish more. My temper is slower to rise.

    My guilt battle now is with the husband – who now suffers because the “me time” I so desperately seek coincides with “us time.”

    I’m still trying to find a balance to that.

  2. Im going away this weekend with a girlfriend and am riddled with guilt! I’ve wanted to cancel everyday leading up to the weekend ahead because I worry I don’t deserve it or they won’t be ok without me.

  3. I have a terrible time carving out time for myself. The mom guilt is really overwhelming but just as you said, when I do it is SO worth it.

  4. I never feel guilty about going out, and only rarely do I seriously worry while I’m away. Since I’m an at home parent, both my daughter and I need the time away from each other. So when an opportunity arises (which isn’t often), I take it and go out. Just putting her in school two mornings a week is a great help. I can shop, or see a movie, or get brunch or get a pedicure and feel like ME and not just mom. Reclaiming me was the most difficult part of becoming a mom.

  5. I run for some sanity in my life, either at 5 am or 10 pm. I try to do it in the morning so that my evenings are mine to relax a little (my husband takes actuarial exams for his career, which means he studies after the kids are in bed probably 8 months of the year.)

    And, seriously, no planning period? I don’t know how you don’t lose your mind a little each day. I would have been sooooooo testy by my last class if I hadn’t had a prep period.

  6. I get me time every other day for 30 minutes when I go running during my lunch hour at work. Sometimes, I’ll even wake up early on Saturday to have some me time before the rest of the house wakes up. Just me and a cup of coffee and the remote control!

  7. This is SO SO SO me. I L-O-V-E the concept of actually getting out and doing something with friends but when the time comes it’s almost a chore. Between organizing who is going to look after the kids and whether or not I’m going to be too exhausted to be any fun there is also ALWAYS school projects, laundry, dishes and a to do list a mile long that needs to get done.

    There is no such thing as me time and a huge amount of mom and wife guilt if I even think about it.

  8. I have two girls, a toddler and a baby. The baby doesn’t take bottles. I have spent one night away from her with my husband, and she cried the entire time. The mommy guilt KILLS me, since I feel bad for her and for whoever has the misfortune of being roped into watching her. Tomorrow that person is my husband, as I take my very first girls night since I’ve been a mommy. I worry I am going to be anxious the entire time. I hope I am wrong!

  9. Yep, as soon as you are labeled “mom”, your whole world changes. I love the way you said that getting out with the girls reminds you that you are Kate – not just Eddie’s mom. That explains why we all need girl time so much 🙂

  10. I just arrived home from dinner out with three girlfriends. We try and get out on a Wednesday night as often as we can.
    We leave home by six, normally back after nine, its not a long time, but its me time.
    We laugh, we drink a couple of glasses of wine.
    And we are ourselves, with no one to take care of.
    It makes me a better person the next day, having a little me time …
    and now I think the perfect get away – bloggy conferences 🙂

  11. I’ve wondered about you and your schedule, especially when I’m sitting in my office and can sneak on to Twitter or my blog from my quiet office. So great that you are making time for this.

    A few months ago I had to do the same, and it’s been much, much better since.

  12. always a struggle! my me time is during Solo’s nap. I treasure that time when the house is silent. I try not to let it get swallowed up by dishes and laundry and …. but instead really soak in the silence and let my mind go numb! good for you for your friday nights out – that is one thing I don’t do. It seems like whenever i go out i want to be with Mr. P. .. i know that’s not a bad thing but I probably should nurture my friendships more!

  13. Ugh I get the mommy guilt too! I tend to say I need time to myself, but I fail to schedule it. I do nights out with friends, and there’s even a group of Austin bloggers that gets together, but my favorite thing? Going out to a bookstore or coffee shop by myself to work on my blog or other writing work, or just read, or my favorite…people watch! Guilty pleasure. 🙂

  14. I do get mom guilt, but have been trying to just remember that I give 100% of me to them when I’m here. Once in a while, I need to give a little time to me to.

    My me time is my time at the gym or my time out with friends. I’m actually a better mother because I make myself take that time away.

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