belly laughs

I was prepared for the pain.

Four years earlier, Cortney had abdominal surgery to remove his appendix.  I remembered him holding his tummy as he shuffled around the house.

I wasn’t surprised that having a C-section made me look similar to his old man pose.

What did surprise me was how painful it was just to twist my torso to see Eddie in his little baby “aquarium” thing.  Or how much effort it would be to get out of bed, shuffle across the room, and lower myself onto the toilet to pee. And then getting back UP from the toilet?

I was tired a lot.

One of the first times I got up from my hospital bed and shuffled to the bathroom all by myself, the only people in the room to witness my triumph were Cort and Eddie, and to be honest?  Eddie did not cheer and hoot like I felt he should. Cort was only slightly more encouraging.

Anyway.  I had made it to the bathroom.  I had finished peeing. And I was just sitting there mustering up the energy to lift myself up to standing when I heard it.

A long, loud drawn out bit o flatulence.

And then?  laughter.

As I sat there in my gown with the mesh undies around my ankles, I put my hands up to my face and groaned.

Really, Cortney?

And he was STILL laughing.  And there may have been heavy breathing and then more laughing.

Ok, really?  Was his fart REALLY that funny?

I took a deep breath, grabbed the mesh undies with one hand and the grab bar in the other and slowly stood up.  I cradled my soft belly in one hand and adjusted my undergarments with the other.

He was still laughing.  It sounded almost painful.  Really?

I hunched over the sink washing my hands and looking at my greasy hair and pale skin.

He continued to laugh.

Finally, I opened the door and saw him.

He was sitting on the couch, our wee one in his arms, head thrown back, tears streaming down his face…laughing.

“Cort.  It was a fart.  It’s not THAT funny.  It’s sort of gross.”

He shook his head as his body erupted with deep laughter and tears all over again.

I shuffled to the bed.

“Seriously, babe.  Not that funny.”

He wiped the tears from his eyes while shifting our little burrito to his other arm.

“No, Kate…it wasn’t me.”

And the laughter started again as he threw his head back onto the window ledge.

“Wait…what?”

And then I got it.  He was pointing at Eddie.

“OH MY…” and the laughter started somewhere deep within me.  I tried to stop it, knowing how a belly laugh would tear at my wound, but I couldn’t stop it.

Tears streamed down my face–both from pain and from joy.

“That was such a…such a…,” I gasped, “MAN FART!”

And we both lost it all over again.

“No…stop…,” I begged, “I can’t….it hurts…ohhh!!!”

Finally our laughter gave way to heavy sighs and the wiping of tears.

Every now and then a chuckle would escape our lips and we would stifle it…trying not to hurt me again with a full on attack.

This little man….

Turned into this little man…

And his toots?  Are just as loud and ridiculous.

And they have not stopped being funny either.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl…wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. Hahaha!!! So cute! Man farts are just the cutest thing, right? I have three boys in my house (one is my husband), so I know just what you mean. Lucky you! Lucky me!

  2. OMG!! What a beautiful looking baby! He has a perfect little face!

    My son has done the same thing! It’s hilarious! He farts and keeps on moving like it was nothing at all! The dog does it too but looks at us like we did something!

  3. I love it. We did the same thing when our “little lady” farted like that.

  4. Oh Katie!! And as I was reading? I thought it was you…..such a funny story! But painful, too!

    Fits the prompt to a “t”.

  5. What a great post! I think the nappies amplify the sounds, I remember Eva having man farts too!!! I also remember the awful pain of laughing after a section, its like being at school when you’re not supposed to laugh but can’t help it, only it HURTS!!!
    XxX

  6. I blamed my farts on my kid for as long as I could. He too, ripped ’em like a man. Too funny.

  7. The best fart post I have ever read, you brought back so many c-section memories, I think I was holding my stomach the whole way through.

  8. Now see my husband? Is proud when our daughter farts like that. LOL It must be a guy thing. This was really good!

  9. i wondered what you would do with this prompt! it left me stumped! Awesome story 🙂
    side note – i can see your whole blog header for the first time today! yay!

  10. Funny how little boys can do such “manly” things even on their first few days! Oh, and the c-section memories. So well written. Took me right back to those hawt mesh underwear and the cradling my belly in my hands for days! Great post!

  11. Aw, he looks just like he did when he was a baby!

  12. Never underestimate the power of a toot…big or small 😉

  13. It’s amazing how so small a digestive system can create that much air pressure.

    Laughing here. That’s perfect.

  14. I LOVED this post! I was giggling at “mesh underpants” because I can remember those lovely things.
    My favorite line: “I tried to stop it, knowing how a belly laugh would tear at my wound, but I couldn’t stop it.” This seems true for so much of motherhood. It seems the pain and the laughter in motherhood go hand in hand.

  15. There were so many things I loved about this post:

    The mesh panties.

    The pain. Not that I loved the pain, but I totally sympathized and I too wondered why my husband didn’t cheer whenever I was able to get out of bed. If it had been him, he would have wanted a ticker tape parade.

    And the fart…how stinkin’ funny! 🙂

  16. Oh my God… that is hilarious… this post is so darn funny. So so darn funny.

    Thanks for the laugh.

  17. that is gloriously wonderful.

  18. Oh my, you young Mom’s with the little boys bring back such sweet (and stinky!) memories of when my boys were little. Love this. And guess what? C-section belly laughs…still remember they were painful. Why do I still remember this after 28 years? Ponderous. Thanks for the giggles.

  19. oooh! That is great.

    It really brought back all of my post c-section memories…..

    Having a laugh in the midst of all that pain is a good thing.

  20. OMG that is comedy!
    And you so reminded me of the pain of my csections!

  21. Yes, let the farts and burps begin! I have a boy, and a husband, and that’s all that really happens around here! 🙂

  22. This is hilarious! Baby toots are the best. And recovering from a c-section? You totally take for granted all the activities you use your stomach muscles for!

  23. The first time my daughter did a grown up sounding toot we were in total shock. We looked at one another, ready to throw blame. 😉 Great flashback!

  24. I will never forget the first time Brayden did that! Hilarious! 🙂

  25. So funny! Man farts! Ha! Really well written also, I could feel the pain and the fatigue. Great job!

  26. Ahh, boys will be boys, won’t they? That’s too funny! Oh, by the way? Fire Up, Chips! 🙂

  27. The attention to detail in this piece really helped nail it from the shuffling, mesh panties, grabbing the bar to stand and sit,pale face and greasy hair. And I love that he is so impish looking holding a little lamb in the picture.

  28. Oh my, Katie!
    At first I thought that the toot came from you!
    You had me giggling from the start.
    And baby Eddie? Swoon!
    And big boy Eddie? Delicious!

  29. you said fart.

  30. I love how this story was able to take me right back to when I had these c-sections and that pain that I was so not prepared at all for—and then like magic takes me back to the happy baby moments that made it so, so worth it.

  31. Oh, good lord. Tiny baby man farts!
    I’m still chuckling.

    And at three, my Small Boy’s farts are still terribly entertaining, especially for him.

    Heeheehee…

  32. I love this! Too, too funny!

    Darling Girl’s favorite thing to do is to run up to someone, fart, and say, “I toot on youuuuuuuuuuuu!!!” and then run off. It’s like I’m in Monty Python. Kids and farts. Never stops making me laugh!

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