a packaged deal

I have had enough.

I am ready to purge.  To get rid of that which I do not need.

I am at my wit’s end with this and I am going to dump it.

I’m going to put it out there away from me, and hopefully someone stops by and picks it up.  Not for themselves, but to take away from me.

I mean, I guess if you are a masochist you could keep these things.  I suppose. And there will be a few of you I suppose.

But I am done with this stuff.

DONE.

In fact, I don’t remember ever wanting these things.  They just showed up.  And now I can’t GIVE them away.

But I am still trying.

So, that being said, the first item I am listing here is the a like-new Case of Guilt (made just for me by PPD, but is easily transferable to your particular needs).

The adhesive on this Case of Guilt is like new.  Seriously.  I realize it has been stuck to me for about twenty months now, but it hasn’t lost any of its cling. I am fairly sure–although I have long since lost the original paperwork–that it was was made with molasses combined with a super spray adhesive for extra powerful binding ability.

Or perhaps there is cement in there.  Like I said, I don’t have the original paperwork…only that which I could find on Google.

Either way?  It still sticks.

Also this particular brand of Case of Guilt is extremely emphatic.  It comes with a special built-in amplifying system to avoid ignored missed messages from the guilt.  So even if you are sitting in a loud movie without your kids?  You will definitely hear the Guilt booming right over the loudest theatrical gun battles telling you that you should be home being a more involved parent to your children.

PPD brand Case of Guilt also comes with a self-charging battery so it will never die on you when you want it to need it. In fact, in the almost two years that I have owned it?  It has never ever needed its batteries replaced.  It came with a lifetime guarantee to ALWAYS be there (the guarantee is transferable, by the way, so we can take care of that upon exchange).

It has unfortunately never failed me.  Even when I have been at work making money to feed my family?  It is there reminding me that I am not with my son.  It is never-ending and persistent. You can count on that.

I am throwing in two other items with this Case of Guilt:

Unreasonable Self-Doubt and Uncontrollable Paranoia

Both are also PPD brand and 100% compatible with the Case of Guilt.  In fact, the Self-Doubt and Paranoia were originally marketed as accessories to the Mom Guilt, but I am offering them all as a package deal.

Both are being offered as-is, although they have very little wear that is noticeable.

The Unreasonable Self-Doubt is scheduled to coincide when the Case of Guilt clicks on letting you know you are not living up to what people want.  Immediately the Self-Doubt will begin breaking down your confidence leaving you with virtually nothing to grasp onto that seems worthwhile.

The Uncontrollable Paranoia is meant to trigger the Case of Guilt.  It’s like a fail-safe for the Guilt.  The Guilt has never failed, but in the case that it shows signs of not igniting?  The Paranoia will guarantee it.

The entire package is being offered for FREE.

I do not want anything PPD Brand in my life anymore.

If interested, it will be on the curb.  Because that is where it has been kicked to.

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About Katie

Just a small town girl...wait no. That is a Journey song. Katie Sluiter is a small town girl, but she is far from living in a lonely world. She is a middle school English teacher, writer, mother, and wife. Life has thrown her a fair share of challenges, but her belief is that writing through them makes her stronger.

Comments

  1. Hell. Yeah.

    Seriously. I know this is going to be my favorite because its SO EMPOWERING and SO full of description about the crap we carry around.

    BRAVO. The End. 😀

  2. Excellent post! I totally identify. I’d hug you if I could!

  3. This is powerful & honest! Very raw writing and not what I was expecting to read from this prompt. Now I am a little embarrassed about mine, because it’s pretty silly!

  4. Hell yeah. That rocks! ((hugs))

  5. This is absolutely fantastic!!!
    So so so well written!!

  6. I seriously wish I could place this ad myself. Like, NOW. Well done!

  7. You say it like I never could. As always.

    Thank you for empowering us!

  8. How about, instead of taking your self-doubt, paranoia, and guilt, we get them together with MY self-doubt, paranoia, and guilt, and have a cage fight to the death? We can watch your guilt try to out-guilt my guilt. Like a spiral of guilt that goes nowhere and eventually extinguishes itself.

    Yup, I think it’ll work.

  9. This is great! Its nice to see how everyone sees the prompt differently. Nice writing.

  10. Peeling of several layers of guilt and placing them on curb next to yours. Gladly.

  11. Go get em girl! Love this!

  12. I love how you took this prompt and made inspiring!!! And the lifetime guarantee…yup, yup, and yup! 🙂

  13. As always you have left me inspired. I know that someday I will be able to write a post like this. Some day I can put this shit on the curb too.

    PS This post explains the strange twitter synonym requests yesterday LOL

  14. I teared up when I read this. My 2 year PPD anniversary is next Wednesday only the psych said I can no longer include the “PP” in front of the “D”. Asshat. I wish I could take a heaping scoop of your symptoms and throw them in a roaring fire along with mine. PPD sucks and it doesn’t seem to stay away.

  15. Hee!

    ‘Cept….I don’t want ’em!

    Nope.

    They are welcome to stay there on the curb till they just bloody well disintegrate.

  16. Good for you for kicking them to the curb where they belong! I’d take them for you, but I’m trying to get rid of my own. For some reason the case of guilt doesn’t sell very well!
    Don’t be too hard on yourself. I have decided that no matter what we do, we will manage to do several things wrong as parents. What really matters is that our kids know they are loved and feel safe and secure to be who they are. I”m sure you are doing a wonderful job!
    What a clever idea for this prompt. Loved it!

  17. Perhaps there’s a landfill which accepts various brands? Mine are not PPD brand, but perhaps manufactured by the same factory?

  18. Boom. You are such an inspiration to me and so many other women out there fighting this crappy beast. Needed this post today. Love you.

  19. I plan on taking my stuff to the dump-where all this kind of stuff belongs. I can pick yours up on my way there:)
    Loved this post!

  20. Great take on the prompt and so relatable!!

  21. What a great thing to “sell” in your ad. I particularly like the line ” it will be on the curb. Because that is where it has been kicked to”. Amen. Good for you for finally being able to get it out on paper.

  22. Hells Yes! Good for you. Post this somewhere for your bad days, and remember this on your good days.

    As a long-term veteran of the depression wars, I know the insidious little voice which makes this disease so miserable.

    And I love how you’re kicking its ass with this post.

  23. You go girl! Good for you…kick it to the curb!…:)JP

  24. Always good to purge ourselves of the things that drag us down.

  25. Something about this post made me want to pump my fist in the air and yell out a “you go girl”.

    But that would make my husband look at me oddly.

    Awesome post!

  26. Very nicely written.

    I’m off now to unload my own Case of Guilt!

  27. Yes! Amen! I think it comes with the baby. All of it! And it is ridiculous to get rid of. And just when you think it’s gone, you turn around and find it glued to your back! I love this post!!!

  28. I definitely think you just leave them on the curb for the trashman. Then again, there are probably some mothers out there who would like to pick up a case of guilt to deposit on their children.. 😉

  29. Would like to take the package off my back as well. We can trash them together as we stroll along TRDC avenue every Friday. Thanks for sharing!

  30. knitmyrhino says:

    I love where you took this post. Amazing.

  31. Oh, Katie.
    Only you can make my heart hurt and make me giggle in the same post.
    You do an amazing job of tapping into complex emotions and making me feel what you feel.
    Truly wonderful…

  32. There’s room for hugs & high-fives here – I wish I could feel that empowered every day. Great job with the prompt AND inspiring us to finally kick that nasty beast to the curb where it should stay.

  33. Brilliantly done. I’m sure just about every mom can relate in one way or another. But I’m glad it’s at the curb where it belongs. 🙂

  34. Kicked to the curb! Excellent place for them. Good for you.

  35. You go for it, Katie! Kick it to the curb…..

    Love it!

  36. It always helps when we can laugh through the pain. I am a firm believer in that. Great post!

  37. PPD, and all the crap that comes along with it, is one of THE best things to sell/give away!

  38. Nice. You did a great job. I loved the last few paragraphs!

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