Ok…it’s not Saturday, but I am giving you my confession anyway…
This is not how I expected life as a family to be.
I know, lame confession, right? I mean…who DOES expect what they get (ok, some of you probably have exactly what you thought was coming. I am not that prophetic).
Anyway…what is going on around me? Not what I pictured.
Not in a whiney way…but not in a totally super way either.
Growing up, I had a mom who was supermom. She won’t admit that, but now that I am a mom? I know she was.
As a kid, I figured that was what being a mom would be.
She stayed home for the first part of our childhood. She was (um…IS) an excellent cook–a homemade meal was on the table 5 days a week.
Our house was ALWAYS clean. I don’t ever remember toy messes lasting long. When we were done with one thing, I got picked up and put away. At the time we were done. Not minutes before bed. And certainly NEVER EVER left out over night.
She did a full house clean every Saturday. FULL HOUSE CLEAN. dusting, vacuuming, floor scrubbing (on hands and knees), bathroom cleaning, sheet changes on every bed every other Saturday, and windows in nice weather.
She did laundry EVERY DAY.
Then she went back to school and back to work.
And nothing changed at home. At least to me? As a kid? Nothing changed.
As I got older, I knew I wanted to be a mom, but I knew I would be a working mom.
I assumed my husband would also be working.
But somehow? I figured the house would get cleaned and picked up and a good family meal would be served each night.
I did not expect…
My kid to see that I had no idea what I was doing…and distrust me for it.
To be so tired after work that I would rather eat McDonald’s that put for the effort to put a meal on the table.
My husband to be laid off from work…and then be out of work for over a year (thanks, stupid economy).
My husband to be back in school.
To be the main bread winner for the family.
To be battling depression and anxiety.
To have such a cute, lovable little boy that sometimes it makes me cry.
To be so damn unsure of myself in every. single. area of my life.
I didn’t expect this either:
after a long day of work, I throw on my apron (thanks, Tonya!!) and mix up some corn muffins to go with the meal that has been plupping away in the crock pot.
I didn’t expect to rely on my husband so much to get household chores done and to get the groceries and to be the primary caretaker.
This was not what I imagined.
But in most ways? I wouldn’t change it either.
This is how we are. It’s how we are getting through life.
And if that means Cort is changing poopy pantses and I am making corn muffins in a skirt and boots?
Well, then that is how it is for Sluiter Nation right now.
Tune in Tuesday for this week’s Top Ten Tuesday: The Top Ten favorite blog posts…of my own! I encourage you to participate and link up…it is like giving a little tour of your blog to people..and I am excited to read what your favorite posts are of your own.
Also? There is a SWEET GIVEAWAY going on at my book blog, Katie’s Bookcase! It’s a book to help keep the little ones busy…which is a MUST HAVE this time of year! Please join in!